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Friday, May 23, 2014
2014 US Gay Pride Festivals & Celebrations
Friday, May 16, 2014
Oregon Marriage equality lawsuit: Judge to issue a decision Monday
For Immediate Release -- Friday, May 16
Contact: Peter Zuckerman, Press Secretary: 310-507-4689
Marriage equality lawsuit: Judge to issue a decision Monday
Some counties prepared to start issuing licenses right away
The federal judge in Oregon’s marriage equality lawsuit said he plans to issue an opinion at noon on Monday.
If judge Michael McShane strikes down Oregon’s law excluding same-sex couples from marriage, all loving and committed couples in Oregon could be granted the freedom to marry.
“We don't know which way the judge will rule, but we are hopeful that Oregon is on the verge of making history—and that by next week, all of Oregon's loving, committed couples will be able to wed in our state,” said Amy Ruiz, deputy campaign manager for Oregon United for Marriage.
Oregon United for Marriage launched a “Decision Day Resource Page” last week, for Oregonians anticipating the ruling.
On April 23, Judge McShane heard arguments on motions for summary judgment in the case. On Wednesday May 17 the Judge heard oral arguments from the National Organization for Marriage, which filed their motion to intervene in the case at 11:04 p.m. two days before oral arguments.
So far, more than a dozen judges have ruled for the freedom to marry since the U.S. Supreme Court struck down key parts of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act last year. Once Oregon wins marriage equality, Multnomah County has said that it plans to start issuing licenses right away to gay and lesbian couples.
BACKGROUND ON THE CASES:
Attorneys filed two lawsuits last year in the federal court in Eugene to challenge laws that exclude same-sex couples from marriage in Oregon. In October, attorneys Lake Perriguey and Lea Ann Easton filed the first case, Geiger v. Kitzhaber, on behalf of two couples. In December, staff attorneys for the American Civil Liberties Union, the ACLU of Oregon, and volunteer counsel Misha Isaak and Tom Johnson of Perkins Coie, LLP, and Jennifer Middleton of Johnson, Johnson & Schaller, PC, filed a second case, Rummell v. Kitzhaber, on behalf of two same-sex couples who wish to marry in Oregon and Basic Rights Education Fund. In January, the judge, Michael McShane, consolidated the two cases.
Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum announced in February that Measure 36 is indefensible. “Sexual orientation does not determine an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and enduring relationship,” she wrote in a brief filed with the court. “The ban cannot withstand a federal constitutional challenge under any standard of review.”
The National Organization for Marriage in Washington D.C. filed a motion to intervene in the case, and now the judge is hearing arguments about how to rule.
Monday, May 5, 2014
The 2014 Russian River Weekend Coming
The 34th Annual Russian River weekend will be the week of May 15 - May 19th, 2014 and will be held in beautiful downtown Guerneville, California.
Russian River Women’s Weekend Tentative Schedule
May 15 – 19, 2014
VIP Pass Pick-up Location = *
Weekend Long Activities:
- Thursday – Sunday Weekend of the ELEMENTS Guerneville
- Saturday – Sunday Massage for the Health of It r3 Hotel Courtyard
- 6:00 – 9:00 Welcome Party and VIP Passes available McT’s BullPen *
- 6:00 – 10:00 ELEMENT: FIRE ~ Firewalk of Transformation Camp Outback
- 8:00 – Close Country Dan’s Lesbytarian Karaoke McT’s BullPen *
- 9:00 – 12:00 Hey Gurl Hey r3 Hotel
Friday:
- 11:00-6:00 VIP Pass Pick-up Center for Sacred Studies*
- 12:00 – 5:00 Let’s get this Party Started Pool Party r3 Hotel ($5.00 or free with VIP Pass)
- 6:00 – 8:00 RAGS - River Area Gals Society (rivergals.com) Rainbow Cattle Company *
- 7:00 – 9:00 Spiritual Seminar Center for Sacred Studies Ladamira – Siberian Shamanaka from Russia (No VIP Pass) $25
- 8:00 – 12:00 Country Dan’s Lesbytarian Karaoke r3 Hotel
- 8:00 – 12:00 3rd Annual DRAGSTRAVAGANZA Buck’s River Mill Theater * ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
- 8:00 – 1:00 Dance Party w/dj Lady Char River Theater ($10 or Free with VIP Pass)
- 10:00 – 2:00 Spiritual Seminar with Ladamira Center for Sacred Studies (No VIP Pass) $90 one day/$150 both
- 10:00 – 12:00 ELEMENT: AIR ~ Chanting and Mantras Center for Sacred Studies
- ELEMENT: EARTH ~ Walk in Armstrong Woods meet at Center for Sacred Studies With Ladamira
- 11:00 – 6:00 VIP Pass Pick-up Center for Sacred Studies*
- 12:00 – 6:00 ELEMENT: WATER ~ Pool Party R3 Hotel With DJ LadyRyan
- Water Blessing HIGH NOON
- Commitment/Marriage Ceremony ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
- 2:00 – 5:00 Wet “tease” T-shirt Contest R3 Hotel ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
- 8:00 – 12:00 Teresa Raef, Darcie Rickert and Velvetta! Buck’s River Mill Theater * ($10 or Free with VIP Pass)
- 9:00 – Close Poo Poo Head Burlesque Show and Dance Party River Theater * With DJ LadyChar Show starts 10:30 ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
The “More Bang for Your Buck” Show Special:
$15 for both shows on either Friday OR Saturday Nights
$15 for both shows on either Friday OR Saturday Nights
- Friday: 3rd Annual DRAGSTRAVAGANZA & Dance Party
- Saturday: Live Music & Poo Poo Head Burlesque/Dance Party
- 10:00 – 2:00 Spiritual Seminar with Ladamira Center for Sacred Studies (No VIP Pass) $90 one day/$150 both
- 11:00 – 5:00 Brunch and Live Music Buck’s River Mill Theater * ($10, NO VIP Pass –Brunch not included)
- 12:00 – 4:00 Liquid Church Pool Party with DJ LadyRyan r3 Hotel * ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
- 1:00 – 4:00 “Eat my Pie” Contest r3 Hotel * “Painted Lady” Tattoo Contest RAFFLE to be held at 2:00 p.m. ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
- 1:00 – 5:30 Sweat Wildwood Retreat Center (No VIP Pass)
- 3:00 Rendezvous with Cool Beans River Mill Dinner Theater ($10, NO VIP Pass)
- 3:00 ELEMENT: WATER~ Special Blessing with Ladamira Center for Sacred Studies
- 7:00 – 10:00 The Afterglow Main Street Station with "Wild Jane, Miss Maple, & The Bass Babe"
- 8:00 - Close Country Dan’s Lesbitarian Karaoke r3 Hotel
10:00 – 5:00 Leftover’s Lounge r3 Hotel
For more information, please visit: russianriverwomensweekend.org.
Friday, May 2, 2014
California may remove the words "between a man and a woman"
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — A bill that would strike the traditional definition of marriage from California law was approved by the state Senate on Thursday after the U.S. and state supreme courts allowed same-sex unions to resume last year.
SB1306 would remove from the state Family Code language that marriage must be "between a man and a woman." It would substitute gender-neutral language, define marriage as a personal relation arising from a civil contract between two persons, and remove limits on the state recognizing the validity of same-sex marriages performed outside of California.
The bill removes "discriminatory language" from the Family Code and brings state law into compliance with federal and state court decisions allowing same-sex marriages, said Sen. Mark Leno, D-San Francisco.
In June, the U.S. Supreme Court left in place a lower court judge's order striking down as unconstitutional a ballot measure known as Proposition 8, the 2008 voter initiative that outlawed same-sex marriages in California. A 5-4 court majority ruled that the ban's sponsors lacked authority to defend the measure on appeal, though the justices did not directly address the ban's constitutionality.
Marriages resumed in late June after the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals lifted a stay it had imposed on the lower court ruling. The state Supreme Court dismissed a final challenge by the ban's backers in August.
"I cannot bring myself, though, to diminish the words 'husband and wife,' and this clearly does that. Throughout history those words have been widely used and accepted," said Sen. Jim Nielsen, R-Gerber, the only senator to speak in opposition. "They're kind of sacred terms, I would argue, and by this bill we are diminishing those very important words."
The bill was sent to the Assembly on a 25-10 vote, with only Republicans in opposition. Two Republicans, Anthony Cannella of Ceres and Ted Gaines of Roseville, voted in favor.
"All this bill does is bring our Family Code section up to date to comply with those two court decisions," Leno said. He added later: "The sky did not fall, civilization as we know it did not end" when gay marriages began.
DON THOMPSON, ASSOCIATED PRESS
Thursday, May 1, 2014
10 Lesbian Dating Red Flags to Watch Out For
By Ruth Schwartz, Ph.d., Conscious Girlfriend
If you’re a queer woman or lesbian who is dating in the hope of creating a happy, healthy, truly intimate lasting relationship, and you meet a woman with one of these red flags, proceed with caution and find out more. If she’s got two or more of these red flags, proceed at your peril. If she’s got three or more, run the other way!
- She and her last love broke up within the past six months – or she’s vague about exactly when they broke up.
- She spends a good part of your date talking about her last love. (Exception: if she’s speaking thoughtfully about her own mistakes and telling you what she learned, she gets a gold star instead of a red flag!)
- She trashes her last love and presents herself as a victim. (Remember, what she says about her ex is what she may be saying about you someday soon…)
- She hasn’t been in a relationship in many years. (Find out why.)
- She’s never had a long-term relationship. (Exception: if she’s under 25. But if someone over 25 has never had a relationship last longer than a few months, there’s probably a reason.)
- She doesn’t have any friends. (Find out why.)
- She spends a lot of time complaining… about anything or anyone. (Not a good sign.)
- She spends most of the time talking, rather than listening to you. (Also not a good sign.)
- She says something mean to or about you, or to or about anyone else. (There’s really no excuse for meanness, and it is definitely not a good sign.)
- She drinks or drugs daily or to excess. (Regular use of alcohol and drugs forestalls real intimacy – no ifs, ands or buts about it.)
Of course, you need to look honestly at yourself too. If you are a woman with two or more of these red flags, be kind to yourself – and to other women – by taking the time to heal and grow more whole before beginning to date.
None of these red flags are permanent conditions. All can be changed. But truly loving, intimate relationships are only likely between two relatively happy, whole, healed women. So, become one before you date – and then look for another. We can help you with this process – just click here!
Ruth L. Schwartz, Ph.D., has been a writer, healer and teacher for over three decades. She has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and is also a Board-certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with extensive training in Focusing, shamanism and energy medicine. She’s had a private healing practice since 2003, and is the author of seven books, including Soul on Earth: A Guide to Living & Loving Your Human Life. Ruth has taught at six colleges and universities, and is currently on faculty in the Ashland University low-residency graduate creative writing program.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
The Naked Truth About Why Lesbians Fake It (And Why I Stopped!)
By Ruth Schwartz of Conscious Girlfriend
Admit it: are you a woman-loving-woman who’s ever acted more turned-on than you really felt, or even pretended to have an orgasm? If so, you’re not alone. Most lesbians (along with our straight sisters) have done that from time to time – and some of us have done it a lot.
Why would a lesbian fake it, anyway? Well, probably for most of the same reasons as straight women – but with the added twist that we think we’re not supposed to “have to” fake it!
Straight women and men sometimes imagine that lesbian sex is easier than straight sex – that two women together automatically know just what to do, and where and how to do it, to please one another. But most of the lesbians I know sigh ruefully, “If only it were so!”
The truth is, any two people can hit it off sexually – or not. And especially in an ongoing relationship, there are also all kinds of emotional factors that impact how turned-on we feel.
So here are some of the reasons I’ve heard – and felt myself – about why lesbians fake it:
“I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
“I don’t really like what she’s doing, but I don’t know how (or am to shy) to tell her or show her what I do like.”
“I’m ready to stop having sex, but she’ll feel bad if she knows I didn’t come.”
“I want her to think I’m hot.”
“She’s doing all the right things, so I should be turned on. There must be something wrong with me.”
“She’s been working so hard down there, I think she must be tired. I need to take care of her.”
“I feel insecure about how long it takes me to come.”
“I didn’t really feel like having sex in the first place.”
“I’m not really attracted to her, but I thought maybe it would feel different once we got into bed.”
Many of these reasons have to do with trying to take care of our partners. As women, we’re often way too concerned with other peoples’ feelings – so much so that we can tend to “leave our bodies” and inhabit our girlfriend’s experience instead!
But are we really inhabiting her experience – or just our own imagining or projection of her experience? And are we really doing her any favors? Think about it. If you found out that yourgirlfriend – or even the woman you just met – was faking it with you, how would you feel? Personally, I’ve never met a woman who would feel good about that.
So we fake it to “protect” our partners in ways we ourselves would never want to be “protected” - which doesn’t make much sense…
The truth is, even when we think we’re protecting our partners, we’re mostly protecting ourselves. It’s scary to get vulnerable enough to tell someone else what’s really going on for us – and for many of us, it’s even scarier when we’re naked in bed with that someone.
But it’s also the only way to create real intimacy – by which I mean, to actually be seen, heard and understood.
(Don’t worry – we’ll coach you through this intimacy-creation process!)
You see, when we “fake it,” there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that that can happen. Instead of letting ourselves be seen and known, we put on an act – which effectively prevents us from getting close.
Eight years ago, shortly after Michelle and I met, I wrestled with this one. I really, really liked Michelle, and I was definitely attracted to her. She was cute, she was brilliant, she was kind, we had endless things to talk about… and yet…
Something was just not working for me in the bedroom.
I tried to show her non-verbally what I wanted. But it still wasn’t happening.
Then I felt myself leaving. No, not physically leaving – but vacating my body as she touched me.
I knew I could fake it. After all, I’d done it many times before, with other partners.
And yet there was something about Michelle, and the connection we’d begun to establish – as well as the emotional work I’d done on myself over the previous few years – that made me want to take the risk to do something different.
So I did. I stopped her from doing what she was doing, and said gently, “You know, this just isn’t working for me. I don’t know if it’s me, or if it’s you, or if it’s us. But maybe we can learn something here.”
And so instead of writhing and moaning in fake pleasure, I lay naked in Michelle’s arms, and we talked, really talked.
I learned a lot about her that night – not only from what she said, but from how she listened to me. I still felt a little sad that sex hadn’t worked, but the opportunity to grow together felt even more important to me – and I was overjoyed when she told me she felt the same way.
And somewhere in those hours of conversation, something happened – though I didn’t realize it until the next day, when she was sitting at my kitchen table, and I went to embrace her. And – what?! Something moved. Something opened between us, like a bolt of lightning.
Whoa – what was that?
The sexual energy we hadn’t been able to tap into the night before was suddenly fully alive and crackling between us!
Since that day, nearly eight years ago now, we have accessed that electricity many times, and had many joyful, powerful, amazing times in bed. And yet there have also been numerous times when we couldn’t get there – and one or both of us had to say, “You know, I’m just not feeling it right now.”
Some of that has to do with the fact that we are both sexual abuse survivors. I responded to that by learning to perform; Michelle learned to “leave her body,” and also to steer away from the power of her own desire for fear it would lead her to become an abuser, too.
Fortunately, we have gotten some amazing help from our somatic sex coach, Pavini Moray. And our deep love for each other, plus our commitment to working through our triggers, has helped too.
What would have happened if I had kept on “faking it,” rather than opening up and steering us both toward that deeper conversation? I can’t know for sure, but I am almost positive we wouldn’t be where we are today, in a joyful, deeply connected, truly intimate – and yes, hot! – partnership with the love of my life.
Scared to get this honest? We can help. We founded Conscious Girlfriend to assist lesbians and queer women in finding, creating and sustaining the relationship of your dreams – and that definitely means in the bedroom, as well as outside it! We’d love to coach you in your process of finding, creating and sustaining the love you want.
Why would a lesbian fake it, anyway? Well, probably for most of the same reasons as straight women – but with the added twist that we think we’re not supposed to “have to” fake it!
Straight women and men sometimes imagine that lesbian sex is easier than straight sex – that two women together automatically know just what to do, and where and how to do it, to please one another. But most of the lesbians I know sigh ruefully, “If only it were so!”
The truth is, any two people can hit it off sexually – or not. And especially in an ongoing relationship, there are also all kinds of emotional factors that impact how turned-on we feel.
So here are some of the reasons I’ve heard – and felt myself – about why lesbians fake it:
“I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
“I don’t really like what she’s doing, but I don’t know how (or am to shy) to tell her or show her what I do like.”
“I’m ready to stop having sex, but she’ll feel bad if she knows I didn’t come.”
“I want her to think I’m hot.”
“She’s doing all the right things, so I should be turned on. There must be something wrong with me.”
“She’s been working so hard down there, I think she must be tired. I need to take care of her.”
“I feel insecure about how long it takes me to come.”
“I didn’t really feel like having sex in the first place.”
“I’m not really attracted to her, but I thought maybe it would feel different once we got into bed.”
Many of these reasons have to do with trying to take care of our partners. As women, we’re often way too concerned with other peoples’ feelings – so much so that we can tend to “leave our bodies” and inhabit our girlfriend’s experience instead!
But are we really inhabiting her experience – or just our own imagining or projection of her experience? And are we really doing her any favors? Think about it. If you found out that yourgirlfriend – or even the woman you just met – was faking it with you, how would you feel? Personally, I’ve never met a woman who would feel good about that.
So we fake it to “protect” our partners in ways we ourselves would never want to be “protected” - which doesn’t make much sense…
The truth is, even when we think we’re protecting our partners, we’re mostly protecting ourselves. It’s scary to get vulnerable enough to tell someone else what’s really going on for us – and for many of us, it’s even scarier when we’re naked in bed with that someone.
But it’s also the only way to create real intimacy – by which I mean, to actually be seen, heard and understood.
(Don’t worry – we’ll coach you through this intimacy-creation process!)
You see, when we “fake it,” there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that that can happen. Instead of letting ourselves be seen and known, we put on an act – which effectively prevents us from getting close.
Eight years ago, shortly after Michelle and I met, I wrestled with this one. I really, really liked Michelle, and I was definitely attracted to her. She was cute, she was brilliant, she was kind, we had endless things to talk about… and yet…
Something was just not working for me in the bedroom.
I tried to show her non-verbally what I wanted. But it still wasn’t happening.
Then I felt myself leaving. No, not physically leaving – but vacating my body as she touched me.
I knew I could fake it. After all, I’d done it many times before, with other partners.
And yet there was something about Michelle, and the connection we’d begun to establish – as well as the emotional work I’d done on myself over the previous few years – that made me want to take the risk to do something different.
So I did. I stopped her from doing what she was doing, and said gently, “You know, this just isn’t working for me. I don’t know if it’s me, or if it’s you, or if it’s us. But maybe we can learn something here.”
And so instead of writhing and moaning in fake pleasure, I lay naked in Michelle’s arms, and we talked, really talked.
I learned a lot about her that night – not only from what she said, but from how she listened to me. I still felt a little sad that sex hadn’t worked, but the opportunity to grow together felt even more important to me – and I was overjoyed when she told me she felt the same way.
And somewhere in those hours of conversation, something happened – though I didn’t realize it until the next day, when she was sitting at my kitchen table, and I went to embrace her. And – what?! Something moved. Something opened between us, like a bolt of lightning.
Whoa – what was that?
The sexual energy we hadn’t been able to tap into the night before was suddenly fully alive and crackling between us!
Since that day, nearly eight years ago now, we have accessed that electricity many times, and had many joyful, powerful, amazing times in bed. And yet there have also been numerous times when we couldn’t get there – and one or both of us had to say, “You know, I’m just not feeling it right now.”
Some of that has to do with the fact that we are both sexual abuse survivors. I responded to that by learning to perform; Michelle learned to “leave her body,” and also to steer away from the power of her own desire for fear it would lead her to become an abuser, too.
Fortunately, we have gotten some amazing help from our somatic sex coach, Pavini Moray. And our deep love for each other, plus our commitment to working through our triggers, has helped too.
What would have happened if I had kept on “faking it,” rather than opening up and steering us both toward that deeper conversation? I can’t know for sure, but I am almost positive we wouldn’t be where we are today, in a joyful, deeply connected, truly intimate – and yes, hot! – partnership with the love of my life.
Scared to get this honest? We can help. We founded Conscious Girlfriend to assist lesbians and queer women in finding, creating and sustaining the relationship of your dreams – and that definitely means in the bedroom, as well as outside it! We’d love to coach you in your process of finding, creating and sustaining the love you want.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Lesbian Dating & Relationship's Blog Named in STDcheck.com’s Top 100 Sex, Lust, and Love Blogs
Lesbian Dating & Relationship's Blog is thrilled to announce that we have been named on the list of STDcheck.com’s Top 100 Sex, Lust, and Love Blogs and Online Destinations.
STDcheck.com
list highlights the most influential and engaging
bloggers who broadcast topics associated with sex, dating,
relationships, and love. This list is part of STDcheck.com's ongoing effort to emphasize the importance of healthy relationships and sexual practices.
"The
internet is the main source of information for most people these days,
especially younger people. This list is our way of pointing people in
the direction of information that's both valuable and fun," said Fiyyaz
Pirani, founder and CEO of STDcheck.com.
The
Top 100 Sex, Lust, and Love Blogs& Online Destinations list
connects readers with blogs featuring a wide variety of topics. Blogs
were ranked based on a combination of factors that included the visual
appeal, quality of content, and sense of community.
Well-known
blogs are included on the list, as well as up-and-coming blogs from
across the globe. Every blog that has been chosen gets the honor of
displaying a beautiful Top 100 Blog Award badge on their site.
Social
media buttons are integrated into the Top 100 list for each blog, which
connects readers with their favorite blogs and bloggers with a single
click. The top blogs will also be featured on the STDcheck.com Facebook
page. All 100 bloggers will receive $500 in gift cards that can be
redeemed personally or used as part of a giveaway for their readers.
"Recognizing and rewarding these incredible bloggers is our way of
connecting with their audience to raise awareness about the importance
of sexual health," Pirani said.
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