GLBT History Month Celebrates Their 5th Anniversary

by Chip Alfred, Equality Forum

2010 marks the 5th Anniversary of GLBT History Month. “In just five years, GLBT History Month has mushroomed into our community’s most collaborative project with over 650 organizations having GLBT History Month links on their Web sites,” stated Malcolm Lazin, Executive Director, Equality Forum, and founder of GLBT History Month.

“Our community has made profound international contributions as reflected by Alexander the Great, James Baldwin, environmental movement pioneer Rachel Carson, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Eleanor Roosevelt, Tchaikovsky, Alan Turing, Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde.”

“Our nation has been enriched by Leonard Bernstein, George Washington Carver, George Eastman, Barney Frank, Philip Johnson, Alfred Kinsey, Annie Leibovitz, Margaret Mead, Suze Orman, Bayard Rustin and Gore Vidal.”

“Our culture would not be the same without Alvin Ailey, Jr., Ellen DeGeneres, Tom Ford, Cary Grant, Keith Haring, Elton John, Jasper Johns, Bill T. Jones, Tony Kushner, k.d. lang, Jane Lynch, Rachel Maddow, Martina Navratilova, Cole Porter, Bessie Smith, Gianni Versace, Andy Warhol and John Waters.”

GLBT History Month celebrates civil rights heroes such as Tim Gill, Barbara Gittings, Jim Hormel, Cleve Jones, Frank Kameny, Bishop Gene Robinson and Matthew Shepard,” said Lazin. Across the spectrum of 155 Icons, we have so much to be proud of in these remarkable role models and historic figures.”

The video below is a two-and-a-half-minute overview video of all 31 GLBT Icons. Then, beginning on October 1, a 30-second video featuring a different GLBT Icon will appear each day for 31 days.

Gays.com Video Project - Join In

In honor of "Coming Out Day" (October 11th), Gays.com has decided to put together a new video mashup of GLBT members from around the world.

To participate, just record a short video of you coming out of something. They already have clips of members coming out of a bed, car trunk, closet, bathroom, from behind a tree - and they all had a blast recording them. Ask your friends to join you or record their own!

There have only two rules: Have fun and be creative

When your video is ready, send it to comingout@gays.com before September 29th (next Wednesday, so hurry up). The final mashup video will be released worldwide on Youtube and Gays.com on October 10th at midnight.

Check out their video teaser below:

Romantic Jealousy is Scary!

By Larry James, Relationship Coach & Author

Jealously. . . it feeds on your insecurity, devours your self-confidence, and gobbles up the trust in your relationship.

Jealousy has been defined as an emotion experienced by one who perceives that another person is giving something that she or he wants (typically attention, love, or affection) to a third party.

Jealousy is an emotion resulting from the resentfully suspicious nature of man. It is a universal emotional trauma caused by things as well as people. Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat - real or imagined - to a valued relationship or to its quality. Jealousy has a mind of its own and it is strong enough to make us believe and see things that are not even there or that have not happened yet.

Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviors.

Believe it or not, like other difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for growth, increased self-awareness, and greater understanding of both your partner and your relationship.

While some couples seem to feed off of inciting a playful type of jealousy, many other relationships are laid to waste by uncontrollable and irrational fits of jealous rage.

In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. But when jealousy is intense or irrational, the story is very different.

Jealousy is almost always a demonstration of our own insecurities and low self-esteem. Unless an unfaithful partner has broken trust, about 90% of jealousy comes from from personal insecurity. When you are feeling unloved, be careful not to focus on your partner when the feelings are really inside you. Jealousy provides an opportunity to come to a fundamental understanding of yourself. You may be being driven by your fears.

Insecurities bring forth jealousy, which, in effect, is a cry for more love. It is within our rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts surface, however, the indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try and hide it. Jealousy is usually a signal of something needing fixing, and ignoring that usually only makes things worse.

To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:

Acknowledge your jealousy. Ask yourself where it is coming from and why it makes you feel jealous. I suggest asking yourself, "What do I feel insecure about? Do I feel unattractive or uninteresting myself? Do I doubt the other persons love for me? Their physical attraction? Do I doubt that I can have the type of relationship I want?"

Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off. Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion. Have patience and practice!

As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you.

Emma Goldman once said, "All lovers do well to leave the doors of their love wide open. When love can go and come without fear of meeting a watch-dog, jealousy will rarely take root because it will soon learn that where there are no locks and keys, there is no place for suspicion and distrust, two elements upon which jealousy thrives and prospers."

10 Resources to Help Long Distance Relationships

Courtesy of Sheryl Owen and ChangeofAddress.org

When one person in a relationship moves due to work, school, or any other reason it can naturally cause a lot of strain on the relationship. It’s really hard to explain just how difficult this can be until you have gone through the experience yourself. However, there are a lot of advancements in technology that have made it somewhat easier to be in a long distance relationship so I decided to put together a short list of 10 of the best resources that I am aware of for people struggling with this problem.

1. Skype. I’m not willing to go so far as to say that Skype is the next best thing to come along since sliced bread, but it is pretty awesome for long distance relationships. You can chat pretty much any time over the Internet for free and what is more important is if you hook up web cams you can see your significant other as well while you talk.




2. AOL Instant Messenger. I could just as easily picked on any other instant messaging service but since AOL is my chat service of choice it gets the spotlight. The nice thing about chat is that you can usually have it up most of the day while you work (on your PC) and you can even add a mobile client to keep you accessible on the go from your smart phone.




3. Text Messaging (SMS). I’m almost not sure how society got along without the ability to send text messages. I get several every day from my significant other just reminding me of various things I need to do and to basically brighten my day. I wouldn’t want to be without a text/data plan any more with my cell phone.




4. Google Apps. You can use Google apps and/or any shared calendar system to let the other person know what your schedule is like to avoid any anxiety over what you are doing at any given point in time. This can just head off some of the natural problems that occur with long distance relationships and not knowing what the other person has going on (I know… trust should be there but that’s hard from a distance).




5. FaceBook. There isn’t much that you can’t find out about someone from their FaceBook page (assuming they are active on the platform). Between your computer and mobile device you can easily stay in touch and even share pics of each other. It’s also nice to take the time to write on the other person’s wall every now and then.




6. Mologogo. You can use one of the many mobile GPS tracking solutions if you really want to notify each other of where you are all the time. This may actually not be a great idea as it may violate some privacy or show real trust issues, but if you don’t mind letting the other person know where you are there are several mobile GPS apps and services you can utilize.




7. Twitter. If you aren’t a FB fan, then chances are you might be on Twitter. You can tweet out updates to your significant other as well to let them know what is going on where you are. Keep in mind though with Twitter, FaceBook, and other social networks that most of the time the World can see what you are saying too! Be smart about what you share!




8. Tokbox. If you aren’t a Skype fan, you should give tokbox.com a try as they also have a great and free video chat service that will let you see and talk with your significant other. I can’t stress enough what a difference it makes after a long day or even to start your day by looking and talking to the person you love the most.




9. Orbitz. You can get travel fare alerts from just about any of the large travel sites which can save you a ton of money on trips back to see your significant other. You never know you may decide to take a quick trip just because a great plane fare is available this weekend, next weekend, etc. No disrespect intended to Travelocity, Expedia, etc. Use all the services you can to get notified of flight deals.




10. JibJab. You can use JibJab.com, AmericanGreetings.com, SmileBox.com, and other great eCard services to send funny and interesting eCards to your significant other. It’s inexpensive (usually free) and you can give them a great personalized note to let them know you are thinking about them.

So while it can be difficult to be in a long distance relationship. You can actually communicate quite effectively to make it easier than ever to endure this time apart from one another. Hopefully, you will be able to find a way to be in the same location as your long distance love but if you can’t you can at least use the advancements in technology to stay connected and feel like you are an intricate part of the other person’s life.

Attention Single Lesbians...

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Maturity in Relationships

by Larry James, author and relationship coach

Maturity, in general, is many things. Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture - the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action which will pay off later.

In a love relationship, it means being able to enjoy the instant gratification that comes with the romance of the moment while knowing the best is yet to be and being patient while you watch your love grow. It is knowing that by working together, the state of unconditional love will presence itself in the relationship and will mature with time. It is knowing that you grow into a love relationship. It doesn't happen all at once. Mature love partners seek new ways to help each other grow.

One of the characteristics of infancy is the "I want it now" approach. Grown-up people can wait. And often they don't. Often they allow themselves to slip back into infancy so they can justify rushing into things.

Maturity is the ability to stick with a project or a situation until it is finished. It means doing whatever it takes to make the relationship be one you are proud to be in. The adult who is constantly changing jobs, relationships, and friends, is in a word. . . immature. They cannot stick it out because they have not grown up. Everything seems to turn sour after a while.

Mature love partners have learned not to expect perfection in each other. They know that acceptance has its own reward. Each lover's differences test the other's capacity for acceptance, forgiveness and understanding. They never dance around issues. When necessary, they discuss their imperfections, lovingly, with care not to pass judgment with harmful words. Acceptance and tolerance hold hands in the presence of unconditional love.

Mature lovers -- lovers who love unconditionally -- develop a knack for side- stepping resentment and focusing on the good they see in one another. They have evolved to a higher level of understanding, one that transcends taking notice of the imperfections of the other.

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without complaint or collapse. Mature love partners know they can't have everything their own way. They are able to defer to circumstances, to other people - and to time, when necessary.

Mature love partners permit each other the freedom to pursue their individual interests and friends without restriction. This is when trust presents itself. Mature love allows this level of separateness to bring lovers closer together. In this scenario separateness is perceived as a bond, not a wedge. It encourages love partners to celebrate their own uniqueness.

Maturity is the ability to live up to the responsibilities of a love relationship, and this means being dependable. It means keeping your word; it means living in your relationship like your word really means something. Dependability equates with personal integrity. This means no withholds. It means saying what needs to be said, with love. Do you mean what you say? Do you say what you mean?

The world is filled with people who can't be counted on, people who never seem to come through in the clutches, people who break promises and substitute alibis for performance. They make excuses. They show up late - or not at all. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a chaotic maze of unfinished business and uncommitted relationships. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and to do more than is expected in your relationships. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. They would rather aim high and miss the mark than aim low and hit it.

GLAAD Announces Nominees & Special Honorees for 2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) recently announced the nominees and honorees for the 2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising Presented by Omnicom Group, Publicis Groupe, and Rokk Vodka. Bryan Batt (Mad Men) will host the event on September 29, 2010 in New York City and Bethenny Frankel (Real Housewives of New York City, Bethenny Getting Married?) will present. Among the nominees are: Absolut Vodka's "Exceptional Moments: The Absolut RuPaul" commercials, Levi Strauss & Co.'s "Gay History Month/Logo Leaders" campaign, Progressive Insurance's "Works in Progress" ads, Wells Fargo's "Advocate Money Minute," and Givenchy's "Fall 2010" campaign featuring openly transgender model Lea T. A complete list of nominated ads is included below and can also be found at http://www.glaad.org/advertisingawards/nominees.

GLAAD also announced that American Airlines will receive the Corporate Responsibility Award for its long-standing and public commitment to the LGBT community. As part of the American Airlines Rainbow TeAAM, the company has supported LGBT film festivals, fundraisers and Pride events across the country by serving as an official airline partner. American Airlines was also the first airline to score 100% on the Human Rights Campaign's Corporate Equality Index.

GLAAD will present Bob Garfield with the Public Visibility Award in recognition of his work to advocate for LGBT inclusion in advertising. For 25 years, Bob Garfield's iconic "AdReview" column in Advertising Age evaluated and deconstructed thousands of ads from hundreds of agencies worldwide. Throughout his tenure, Garfield has been a strong ally for the LGBT community, taking on some of the most formidable agencies in the nation over ads rooted in homophobia and stereotypes and applauding groundbreaking inclusions of LGBT people in mainstream advertising.

GLAAD is pleased to announce that this year's event is an official event of Advertising Week. Advertising Week is North America's premier gathering of cutting-edge communications leaders. Advertising Week is a hybrid of thought leadership and special event programming, uniting clients, creatives, media and inspiring figures. Advertising Week's mission is to galvanize the industry by creating an entertaining, enlightening and engaging platform for disparate parts of the advertising business.

The GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising elevate and promote individuals and projects in the advertising and marketing industries for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community and the issues that affect their lives. The GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising also fund GLAAD's work to amplify stories of LGBT people and issues through all media to build support for equality.

"We celebrate this year's nominees and special honorees for their inclusive work," said GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios. "However, this year we witnessed a decline in the number of inclusive advertisements in mainstream media, and as our community continues to strive for visibility, the advertising industry should take note."

"As we see more gay and transgender characters and stories on television and in film, American consumers are coming to expect images of our community in advertising as well," Barrios continued. "Advertisers who include fair and accurate images of our community accomplish more than targeting new consumers, they also send a powerful message about the American cultural fabric of which our community is an integral part."

The GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising will be held in New York on September 29, 2010 at the Grand Hyatt New York, 104 E. 42nd Street. More special guests and presenters will be announced. To purchase tickets for the event, please visit www.glaad.org/advertisingawards.

Nominees for the 2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising were printed, broadcast or appeared online between July 1, 2009 and June 30, 2010.

Leveraging GLAAD's media advocacy and anti-LGBT defamation resources, GLAAD's Advertising Media Program monitors all forms of advertising and works to ensure fair and accurate representations of the LGBT community or demand action when defamation occurs. The Advertising Media Program proactively advances inclusion of the LGBT community in mainstream advertising through advocacy work at advertising agencies and corporate advertising departments. GLAAD maintains an online library of over 4,000 LGBT-inclusive ads at www.glaad.org/advertising.