Same-sex marriage fight focuses on New England

This article appeared on page A - 7 of the San Francisco Chronicle on March 28, 2009 and was written by John Curran of the Associated Press.

Vermont was the first state to outlaw slavery. Neighboring New Hampshire declared its independence from England before any other colony. Maine led the way with Prohibition.

These days, Yankee activism has another cause - gay rights.

Two states in New England already allow same-sex marriage, and lawmakers in three more are considering it, although passage is far from certain.

To some, the push is emblematic of a live-and-let-live ethic and burnished by gradual acceptance of gay relationships after Vermont's groundbreaking civil unions law took effect in 2000. Others see it as an effort by a vocal minority that has turned to the Northeast because its message can't get support elsewhere.

Only Massachusetts and Connecticut permit same-sex marriage. California, which briefly allowed it before a voter initiative in November repealed it, allows domestic partnerships, as do a handful of other states.

New Jersey and New Hampshire also offer civil unions, which provide many of the same rights that come with marriage. New York recognizes same-sex marriages performed elsewhere, and legislators there and in New Jersey are weighing whether to offer marriage. The Iowa Supreme Court has heard arguments on a marriage equality suit.

But for now, the focus on legal recognition of gay relationships has returned to northern New England.

"There is not an easy way to get the issue on the ballot and before the voters so that it can be decided directly by the people," said Maggie Gallagher, president of the National Organization for Marriage, which opposes same-sex marriage and is underwriting a radio campaign against it.

"Therefore, it is more a creature of special interest politics and legislative deal-making. These are small states which can be influenced by fairly large amounts of outside money coming in. And it's very hard for regular people to feel that they can have a voice on this issue in these states."

The voices - on both sides - are growing louder:

-- New Hampshire, which enacted a civil unions law last year, moved a step closer to legalizing same-sex marriage Thursday when the state House of Representatives voted in favor. The state Senate still must vote, though, and the governor - who signed a civil unions bills last year - opposes it.

-- The Vermont Senate has approved a similar measure, but the House has yet to vote. Gov. Jim Douglas vowed Wednesday to veto the bill if it reaches him, spurring a protest that drew about 300 people to the Statehouse on Friday. Protesters say they'll push to get enough votes in the Legislature for a veto override.

-- In Maine, a bill to legalize same-sex marriage has nearly 60 co-sponsors in the Legislature. Gov. John Baldacci, who opposes same-sex marriage, says he hasn't taken a position on the measure.

Beth Robinson, who leads the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task Force, says the close proximity of the New England states has allowed people to see for themselves that civil unions work and that same-sex marriage should be allowed to. Massachusetts got same-sex marriage in 2004.

"It's a lot harder for someone who lives near Massachusetts to say that the sky's going to fall if we share the same sky. Someone halfway across the country might not see that," Robinson said.

Opponents contend that the measures don't have popular support, saying that gay rights measures are nearly always defeated at the polls. Amendments to ban same-sex marriage were approved in November in Arizona and Florida. Now, 30 states have same-sex marriage bans in their constitutions.

Commitment + Action

by Larry James, Relationship Coach

For you to achieve what you desire in a love relationship, both love partners must have similar levels of commitment. Each must honor a promise of mutual commitment to the other, a commitment to participate in life fully together.

This does not mean that you must have identical commitments. It means that for a healthy love relationship to thrive and survive, each love partner must support the other in their own individual commitments in addition to their commitment to each other as a team. She is committed to something and he supports her. He is committed to something and she supports him.

When true love is present, commitments arise naturally. They expand our capacity to love.

The commitment that supports a healthy partnership is the commitment each has to the other to always be working on the relationship, a commitment to always be in a dance with one another, showering each other with compassion and understanding.

Commitment is nurtured by compassion and understanding.

If you care to move past commitment. . . try surrender. Surrender is one step beyond commitment.

Surrender does not mean placing yourself at the mercy of someone else. To me, surrender is the ultimate commitment to unconditional love; it is surrendering to the process, not to your love partner. Having surrender present in your love relationship means having a devotion to keeping the fire of your love burning. . . for each other.

It is possible to give yourself fully to the relationship without losing your sense of self in the relationship. It empowers each of you when both love partners are willing to surrender to the moment, to those tender moments when you are unconditionally loving the one you are with. It promotes freedom of full self-expression.

You both must trust one another enough to allow each other the freedom to speak words of truth straight from the heart. Open, honest communication is just one of the many keys to a healthy love relationship.

Add to commitment a decision for action. That's when the adventure begins. If you only always know what you are committed to and never totally support each other in your commitments, you may rediscover the same ordinary relationship you may have experienced in the past. How boring!

Why not go for extraordinary? Or, if you are truly adventurous, go for outrageous! That is anything but boring.

Commitment plus action provides the momentum that can produce extraordinary results! It's doing what can be done to make a difference for each other. . . and having a commitment to do it together. Even when it feels like you don't want to.

Especially when you don't feel like it.

Same-Sex Kiss Day 4-15-09

Samesexkiss.org has put together a Same-Sex Kiss Day on Tax day, 04/15/09. LGBT couples have yet to be granted the same rights to file our taxes jointly on a Federal level, and we can still be fired for being openly gay in the workplace. That's why they are encouraging you to be seen on Tax Day, April 15, 2009, spreading your love with a KISS!

THE PLAN
Show up at any Starbucks on Tax Day at 7:15 AM, 12:15 PM, 5:15 PM, or 8:15 PM , buy a cuppa joe, then share a kiss with your sweetie, or a friend, or even a long-time crush!

INFO
Don't have someone to kiss? Go to Samesexkiss's Facebook page, click on "Confirmed attendees" and find someone to kiss in your area.

Straight allies are encouraged to attend as well! Show up and give your husband or wife some love to show your support of LGBT rights.

For more information, check out their website at http://samesexkissday.org/

Portia De Rossi's Gay Marriage Apology

Portia De Rossi was a guest on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" the other night and brought with her a new PSA she made about gay marriage. If you haven't had a chance to check it out, it is definitly worth the minute and 21 seconds...

April Lesbian Horoscopes

by Flash Silvermoon

We all like to be April Fools sometimes but with Venus, the planet of love, moving backwards along with Saturn and Pluto, the mood can be more tentative. Given the apparent propensity in the world for fraudulent behavior, moving forward with some restraint is not a bad idea. Still, Spring will give it's best shot at bringing out the free spirits in us all. With the Sun, Mercury, and Venus all in Aries, there will be plenty of fire to go around and the breeze from the Aquarian air signs will fan those flames. The Full Libra Moon on the 9th may offer some warmth and sensuality shining its Venusian light on our more romantic sensibilities.

Like the weather, we have been energetically tossed around, too cold, now too hot, finding that middle ground may be a challenge but most necessary.

While Jupiter orbits happily in electrical Aquarius we can continue to expect some interesting leaps in technology which will enhance the possibility of miracle cures with Neptune and Chiron bonded like Siamese twins next door.

Towards the 3rd week we can expect more explosive happenings as both Venus and Mars collide with potent Pluto's deep and provocative blasts of underground energy. This is no time for secrets as all will be revealed.

The truth will set you free but first it will really piss you off!

ARIES - Yippee. I love Venus in my sign again. Who cares if its retro, it's MINE. It is Spring and I am surely sprung. There is no shame in my game and I want to make love in every way possible and there is no time like the present. Patiently waiting is for those who lack courage and inspiration. Be here NOW with me.

TAURUS - Flower power turns me on as I my eyes feast on the orgy of color that Mother Nature provides right outside my window. magentas, reds, and pinks with blazing oranges. Place my lover in the midst of that picture and that's what I call ecstasy. Add some bubbly, dark chocolate and stir for a healing elixir of life.

GEMINI - Everybody's talking and nobody's saying anything and I ought to know because no one can turn a phrase to slip out the back like I can. I could wax poetic about the moon or croon a tune to excite and delight but what I am really needing is some deep connected communication.Hell, I'll even get metaphysical if it will help get me into a good conversation and I don't even care which side of the issue you take.

CANCER - When all is said and done, there is something so stabilizing about a good home cooked meal with ones friends and family. When I look about my cozy nest, I feel a deep satisfaction that money can't buy and rich beyond measure. By adopting this attitude of gratitude my world expands from this solid inner core of peace and contentment. The storms may come and go but my sea remains calm.

LEO - I can feel pretty feisty most days but lately I feel like I am only partially engaged. With all of those Aquarian energies abounding I am quite out of my element. I don't want to think and talk I want more action and passion. When Venus gets her head turned around on the 18th, I will be on the prowl again and feeling very frisky.

VIRGO - It's not that I am afraid to take a chance at love, it's just that I find so many reasons why relationships are just too much trouble. They mess up your house,can keep you from writing the next great American novel, you can't read on bed and damn, they are just not perfect. All that being said, I am getting way sick of my own company and it may wewll be time to,gulp,go on a date.

LIBRA - When it comes to the Law of Attraction, I have it made. I know just how to attract anything and make you feel like you are the only important thing in my world. The only problem is that sometimes I attract one too many and have to choose There in lies the rub, I am lousy at decision making and can make the very ones that I treasure mad at me.I hate when that happens because I need everyone to like me at least a little.

SCORPIO - I don't know if its just my perverse nature but I am finding myself somewhat amused by the pirating and discovery caused by the bailouts. I mean how dumb do these corporate mobsters think that we are. The Sopranos couldn't hustle the bucks more dishonestly on the streets of Jersey than these dudes in their newly remodeled boardrooms! OK now that I havve released my bile, let's climb back in bed.

SAGITTARIUS - I am feeling so much freer than I can remember in many moons. I don't want to process our foreign policy or the mystical treatise on other dimensions. I much rather float in the kozmic bliss of enlightenment where there are no boundaries and no constraints.Crank up my magic carpet or at least put some gas in the old broom and let's blow this pop stand.

CAPRICORN - I am so glad that Pluto is in my sign now as it will kick serious butt to those who have not learned to play by the rules. I mean I work my tail off everyday with the kind of work ethic that would make anyone proud and dammit nobody should feel like they are above the law. I would love to see some overflowinmg white colar crime prisons where they actually have to work for a meal.

AQUARIUS - There are still so many planets competing for my attention and it makes my normally quirky behavior even quirkier if such a thing is possible. I am feeling like a rebel with too many causes and one can only fold so many newsletters. Studying my astrological chart feels like one of the few places where I can feel a measure of wholeness and serenity.

PISCES - Sometimes the outer world just feels insane. Too much tension and strife when you mix it up out in the marketplace. Fortunately my world offers me much more as I journey to the far reaches of the 7 Dimesions. If the first 3 get you down, try dimension four or five. It works for me and provides me with limittless opportunities for elevation and creativity.

2009 Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival Calendar of Events

Here is a list of 2009 Gay Pride Events by date. If I missed any, please feel free to email me and I will update the list.

March 21-22, 2009 Fort Lauderdale, FL Pridefest Fort Lauderdale
March 21-22, 2009 New York, NY Original GLBT Expo
April 18, 2009 Miami Beach, FL Miami Beach Gay Pride
April 18-19, 2009 Phoenix, AZ Phoenix Pride
April 19, 2009 Albuquerque, NM Albuquerque Pride Pageant
April 26, 2009 Daytona, FL Daytona Pridefest
May 1-2, 2009 Las Vegas, NV Las Vegas Pride
May 2, 2009 Northampton, MA Northampton Pride
May 10-14, 2009 Fort Lauderdale, FL Aqua Girl
May 15-17, 2009 New Hope, PA New Hope Pride
May 16-17, 2009 Long Beach, CA Long Beach Pride
May 24, 2009 Melbourne, FL Space Coast Pride
May 27-June 7, 2009 Charleston, WV Rainbow Pride of West Virginia
May 28-31, 2009 Philadelphia, PA Philadelphia GLBT Artists Festival
June 5-7, 2009 Kansas City, KS Kansas City Gay Pride
June 5-14, 2009 Birmingham, AL Central Alabama Pride
June 5-14, 2009 Boston, MA Boston Pride
June 5-14, 2009 Washington, DC Capital Pride
June 5-14, 2009 Winnepeg, Manitoba Winnipeg Pride
June 6, 2009 Austin, TX Austin Pride Parade
June 6, 2009 Fresno, CA Fresno Rainbow Pride
June 6-7, 2009 Salt Lake City, UT Utah Pride
June 6-14, 2009 Indianapolis, IN Indy Pride Festival
June 7, 2009 Asbury Park, NJ Jersey Pride
June 8-14, 2009 Pittsburgh, PA PrideFest 2009
June 9-13, 2009 Brooklyn, NY Brooklyn Pride
June 11-13, 2009 Albuquerque, NM Albuquerque Pride
June 12-14, 2009 Des Moines, IA Capital City Pride
June 12-14, 2009 Los Angeles, CA LA Pride
June 12-14, 2009 Milwaukee, WI Pridefest 2009
June 12-21, 2009 Edmonton, AB Edmonton GLBT Pride Festival
June 13, 2009 San Antonio, TX Pridefest San Antonio
June 13, 2009 Spokane, WA OutSpokane Rainbow Festival
June 13-14, 2009 Cincinnati, OH Pride Alive '09
June 13-14, 2009 Portland, OR Portland Pride Festival
June 14, 2009 Long Island, NY Long Island Pride Parade
June 14, 2009 Milwaukee, WI Milwaukee Pride Parade
June 14, 2009 Nyack, NY Gay Pride Rockland
June 19-20, 2009 Iowa City, IA Iowa City Pride Parade
June 19-20, 2009 Louisville, KY Kentuckiana Pride Festival
June 19-21, 2009 Bisbee, AZ Bisbee Pride
June 19-21, 2009 Providence, RI RI Pridefest & Parade
June 20, 2009 Grand Rapids, MI West Michigan Pride
June 20, 2009 Syracuse, NY Central New York Pride
June 20-21, 2009 Fort Lauderdale, FL Stonewall Street Festival
June 27-28, 2009 San Francisco, CA SF Gay Pride Festival
June 27-28, 2009 Denver, CO Denver Pridefest
June 20-29, 2009 Santa Fe, NM Pride on the Plaza
June 28-July 5, 2009 Victoria, BC Victoria Pride
June 29, 2009 Houston, TX Pride Houston
July 11, 2009 Monterey, CA Pride of Monterey County
July 19-26, 2009 Halifax, NS Halifax Pride
July 25th, 2009 Charlotte, NC Pride Charlotte
August 15, 2009 Reno, NV Reno Gay Pride
October 3-4, 2009 Ocala, FL Ocala PrideFest

Lesbian Couples in Poverty?

I was reading an article today about a study that was done at UCLA's Williams Institute attempting to analyze poverty among gay and lesbian couples.

The article, from usatoday.com, stated that "the report was an analysis of recent data about same-sex unmarried couples from the 2000 Census and also included two smaller surveys with questions on sexual orientation."

From the information they gathered, they were attempting to debunk "a popular stereotype (that) paints lesbians and gay men as an affluent elite," says co-author Lee Badgett, an economist at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She continues on to state, "There are clearly many poor lesbian, gay and bisexual people."

The data Badgett used included the 2002 federal National Survey of Family Growth and the 2003 and 2005 California Health Interview surveys.

Badgett continues on to say, "Even though single mothers are most likely to be poor, the study did not focus on single lesbians and gay men because most population surveys don't ask about sexual orientation unless respondents volunteer that they are living with a same-sex partner."

Badgett believes that same-sex partners are more likely to be poor because they lack the safety nets of heterosexual couples, such as a spousal health insurance and Social Security survivor benefits.

It is interesting that this report is coming about just as the California Supreme Court is weighing the legality of Prop 8, as well as a bill, that is awaiting action in Congress, to outlaw job discrimination based on sexual orientation.

As to whether or not this report will help our cause is yet to be seen, but I thought the finding themselves were rather interesting, especially since I personally know very few lesbian couples that would be considered impoverished.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject...

Source: usatoday.com