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Sunday, December 30, 2007

The history of New Years

Being that it is almost New Years, I was thinking a little New Years history lesson might be in order.

The Babylonians
The origins of New Years dates back about 4000 years with the Babylonians, making New Years the world's oldest celebrated holiday. In 2000 BC, the Babylonian New Year began with the first New Moon after the Vernal Equinox (first day of spring) and lasted for 11 days, each day having it's own style of celebration.

The Romans
The early Romans also celebrated their New Years in March. However at that time, their calendar had only ten months, beginning with March, and with the constant date tampering by corrupt emperors, their calendar soon become out of sync with the sun. In order to set the calendar right, in 153 BC the Roman senate added January and February to the calendar, and declared January 1st to be the beginning of the New Year. But this new calendar was not always observed, and New Years was still sometimes celebrated in March. So in 46 BC, Julius Caesar introduced a new, solar-based calendar that was a great improvement to the ancient lunar based Roman calendar, which had become wildly inaccurate over the years. The Julian calendar stated that the new year would be on January 1, and so January 1 became the observed start of the new year. However, in order to synchronize the calendar with the sun, Julius Caesar had to let the prior year drag on for a total of 445 days.

Religious Condemnation
In the first centuries AD, the Romans continued celebrating the New Year, but the early Catholic Church condemned the festivities as paganism. As Christianity became more widespread, the early church began having its own religious observances concurrently with many of the pagan celebrations, and New Year's Day was no different. New Years is still observed as the Feast of Christ's Circumcision by some denominations.

Gregorian Calendar
Although the Julian calendar was a great achievement, it was still not perfect. This new calendar created a year with approximately 365 1/4 days, which gives an error of 1 day every 128 years. As a result, by 16th century, the calendar had drifted a 10 days off course. So in 1582 Pope Gregory VIII, after working with astronomers, made the final changes necessary to reform the Julian calendar to the 365-day Gregorian calendar, which is what we use today.

Middle Ages
During the Middle Ages, the Church remained opposed to celebrating New Years. January 1 has been celebrated as a holiday by Western nations for only about the past 400 years.

New Year’s Resolutions
The first New Year's resolution also dates back 4000 years to the Babylonians. A common New Year’s resolution for the Babylonians was to return something borrowed from a friend over the course of the past year, for example farm equipment, wife, whatever. (Just kidding about the wife part, just making sure your all still awake).

As far as the Romans go, they had their own New Year’s resolution tradition, which was to seek forgiveness from enemies of previous years.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Lesbians in Film

Power Up, a professional organization of women in entertainment, put together this great video clip of lesbians in film. If you haven't had a chance to see it, it is definitely worth taking a look at.

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

2008 Lesbian New Year's Eve Events

So do you have plans for New Year's Eve yet? I am still undecided...too many choices, and I am not sure that just staying home and cuddling in front of the fireplace with my GF isn't the best idea, but we shall see.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the events I found... Oh, and if I missed any, and I am sure that I have, please email the details and I will add them. (FYI...Since Ilive in Northern California, the majority of the events listed are from that area, but not all.)


Stonewall Alliance Center New Year's Eve Dance
1078 Gallery, 820 Broadway (between 8th & 9th Streets) Chico.
Begins at 8:00 P.M.

Come join friends at this annual year-end event produced by the Stonewall Alliance Center. DJ PJ will be playing a great dance set. Midnight sparkling wine and appetizers to be served. Open Bar. Advance Tickets $10, At the door $15 per person

New Year's Eve Women's Country and Western Dance!
Humanist Hall
390-27th Street (near Broadway)
Oakland CA
December 31st 8:00PM - 12:30AM
$15 at the door
Beginning country two-step lesson 8:00PM - 8:45pm
(you don't need to bring a partner)

Dress: Formal attire (very broadly defined :-)
Hors d'oeuvres and drinks provided
To volunteer, contact:

(put your interest in the subject line, e.g. set up, food, decorating). This is an all-volunteer, community event for women who want to spend a beautiful night dancing and bringing in 2008.

A Night To Remember
3411 MacArthur Blvd. Oakland (Laurel District)
[Between 34th and 35th Avenues]

Velvet now has a full bar so it's on!
$30 pre-sale to the first 100 ladies!
Open Bar From 10pm - 12 midnight
Champagne Toast At Midnight!
*9pm - 2am
DJ Luna
DJ Vic
*21+ with I.D.

Jammin Jo's New Year's Eve Celebration inside Club 21 (last event at this location)
1119 21st Street
$10.00 Cover
Party begins at 8:00pm
Apaatizers, Party Favors and More...

San Francisco
Rickshaw Stop
New Year's Eve Super Funtabulous Dance Party
w/ BAT MAKUMBA, Forro Brazuca and DJ Vanka
$25 per person
Come celebrate New Year's Eve w/ Brazilian dance band Bat Makumba and more!

Canela New Year Party
The Flower Market Cafe
Corner of 6th and Brannan Streets, San Francisco
(Plenty of free parking - entrance to club through parking lot.)
Monday, 31 December 2007
8:00pm To 2:00am
A club for all women specializing in Latin beats only with an evening of elegance, dress to impress.
$30 per person includes Hors d'oeuvres
21 and over.
Please RSVP if you will be attending our event.

Sea of Dreams
SF Concourse Exhibition Center
635 8th Street (@ Brannan)
San Francisco, CA 94103
8:00 - Late
21 & Over! - Full bars!

Expect three stages hosting an incredible roster of live bands, cabaret and circus acts, DJ's and dance collectives, performance troupes, and more. All set within multiple thematic environments, Sea of Dreams promises something for people of every persuasion. Musical acts performing on the three stages include: BRAZILIAN GIRLS (, KINKY (, ADAM FREELAND

Cat Club
1190 Folsom
San Francisco, CA
1984 & Club Gossip's New Years Event 2008
Front room: Damon and Jules
Back room: Dangerous Dan and (revolving weekly)
The Melting Girl, Low Life, Mark Andrus and John

The Lexington Club
3464 19TH St;
Gold Rush with performances by your hosts Ice Cream Socialites. Dance it up right with the hottest DJ trio of DJ Rapid Fire, DJ Rocc-Oh!, and DJ Jenna Roit.
Free Champagne from 8-9 and Free Champagne Toast at Midnight!
Dress to Impress (gold encouraged but not required)

DNA Lounge
375 Eleventh Street
San Francisco, CA 94103

Bootie presents its first ever New Year's Eve party... pirate-style! The evening will feature showcase sets from Bootie's resident DJs, as well as a special NYE set by house band Smash-Up Derby... including a special countdown and song at midnight, following a pre-midnight pirate spectacle by local burlesque star The Indra. The upstairs will turn into The Gay Parrot Lounge, with DJs Earworm (SF) and Freddy, King of Pants (Seattle). And the whole place will turn into a pirate's paradise, with balloons, decorations, treasure, and giveaways of the "Best of Bootie 2007" CD.

Annies Social Club
917 Folsom St. @ 5th. St. San Francisco, CA 94107
New Wave City-
New Year's Bash!
$20 adv.
$25 at door

El Rio
3158 Mission Street between Cesar Chavez and Valencia.... 9pm
Description: Celebrate New Years Eve@MANGO!!!
Monday night, December 31st @ da City's favorite place to be bring in the NEW YEAR!
Dj's La Niche given' you all that Latin flava & Marcella workin' you with that hip-hop & dancehall. Free sushi by "We Be Sushi" fresh off the platter, draaaank specials till whenever and that beautiful MANGO vibe.
Kick-off is 9pm and we keep it sweet till 2am.
And you know how we do it at MANGO...not only sweet sexy fun but partial proceeds will benefit SFWAR (San Francisco Women Against Rape). Free party favors and free champagne toast at midnight! The MANGO Crew's theme this year is to get that bad Bush outta here so we can enjoy GOOD Bush. You feel us.....Peace $12 cover * hat & coat check will be available!

Sandra Berhard
Castro Theatre, San Francisco
December, 31st
Tickets: $35 - $100

Marga Gomez’s New Year’s Eve Spectacular

December 31, 2007
Only Two Shows!
7:00 and 9:00 pm at the Victoria Theatre
GLAAD Award winning comedian MARGA GOMEZ returns to ring in her fifth Rhino New Year with special guest comic ALI MAFI - gay, Muslim and an Iranian president's worst nightmare. Expect down, dirty, and smart laughs as Gomez and Mafi take on 2007 in the queerest comedy event of the year.
Two shows only ! These shows will sell out so reserve your tickets

Santa Cruz
Lesbian New Year's Eve Ball Rebecca Adams Swinging Jazz Trio; dining and dancing. 9pm (music). Sliding scale $65-$85 (advance ticket sales only). Chaminade at Santa Cruz, 1 Chaminade Lane, Santa Cruz (408/429-6636).

Santa Rosa
Seven Ultra Lounge
528 7th Street
Santa Rosa
Seven Ultra Lounge in Santa Rosa is having a huge New Year's Eve bash, open to all...lesbian, gay, straight and anything in-between.
DJ Rob Cervantes
$20 before 11:00, $25 after.
Party will include:
Laser show
Balloon drop with over $2000 in prizes
Party Favors
Passed Food
Chocolate Fountain
Midnight Toast
and More

Seven Ultra Lounge

Sparkle! New Year's Eve Dance Party
Alice's Restaurant
101 S. Main Street, Sebastopol
Monday, December 31st, 9pm - 2am
$30 presale, $35 at the door
DJ Lori Z.
Must be over 21, No host bar serving beer, wine, and champagne only
Hors d'oeuvres, complimentary champagne at midnight
Portion of proceeds donated to Positive Images

New Year's Eve Dinner
8:30pm - 10pm
3 course gourmet dinner
$30 per person, $5 discount with purchase of dancing ticket
Reservations strongly encouraged
For more information or to purchase tickets:
call 707.623.3932, or stop by Alice's Restaurant
Supported by Sapphire Lounge

Common Ground
Monday, December 31
New Year's Eve Party, 9pm - 4am. This is the biggest and best party of the year, so don't miss it! Dancing til 4am to the music of DJ Joey ..... a champagne bar that flows all night long ..... a huge hors d'oeuvre buffet .... wild & crazy party favors .... full bar service til 3am. !

Tickets are $20 per person. Advance ticket purchase is highly recommended (we have had sell-outs for the last 9 years). Tickets will be available at the door only if space permits.

Tickets are available now and can be picked up in person at Common Ground. Tickets are also available by mail order. Just send us your request and check or money order to Common Ground, 1230 Danby Road, Ithaca, NY 14850 and we'll send the tickets right back to you.

New Years with LezeezOnX
Snapshot Magic 8 Ball NYE.
New Years Eve plans? Cannot predict now? Outlook not so good? Ask again later? Very doubtful? Well....check out what *snapshot has in store for you below!
Graffiti Warehouse Raw Space
29 Wythe Ave @ N13
L to Bedford, walk toward the Empire State Building but don't fall in the water!
Your New Years Eve plan is now a wish come true! *snapshot* hauls their HOT 4 yr running queer party over the river for a gigantic warehouse bash featuring Lesbians On Ecstacy! 2 bars, 5 dance DJ's, and hot queers in their "ball best" await you on the finest party night of the year. Come dressed to the "eights" but keep it edgy cuz we're celebrating the denoument of 2007 *snapshot* style.

9am to 6am

New Years Eve at at Mixx Lounge
84 Seventh Ave South
Between Bleecker & Grove
PHONE: 212-362-0367
House, Mixed, R & B, Hip Hop, Underground, House Vocal, House Deep, House Classics

Gala Events Presents
The Only all lesbian New Year’s Eve
dance and party in Seattle
Puttin’ On The Glitz
A New Year’s Eve Gala
Yesler Community Center
917 E. Yesler Way • Seattle, WA
8:00 pm to 1:00 am
Food - Fun - Dancing - Party Favors
Champagne Toast at Midnight (or cider)
BYOB/Mixers (ice provided)
Ticket Price $50.00
No sales at event
Last day to purchase tickets Dec 28th
Tickets and information - contact Gala Events or 253-678-6686
253-539-2830 or 253-632-1129

For Queer New Years events in Tornoto, click here!

Popstarz New Year's Eve**
When:31 Dec 2007 (annual)Where:ScalaCost:£10-£16 (free entry to Popstarz on 29 Dec with NYE ticket)Opening Hours:9pm-5am
Party at PopstarzThe original indie gay night at the Scala, Popstarz changed the face of gay clubbing when it opened in 1995. Now on 31 December 2007 the crew plan to bring you the most exciting New Year's Eve of your life.
With three dance rooms plus an extra room devoted to karaoke, this will be one to remember. Freebies, balloon drops and the snowstorm blizzard at midnight make for a truly memorable event.

Be sure to take advantage of the happy hour from 9pm to 10pm.

Friday, December 14, 2007

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila- A Bisexual Reality Show???

Tila Tequila is a 26 year old model, entertainer and singer,... she is also bi-sexual and looking for love. Now I don't think that it is so unusual for an entertainer to be openly bisexual, however, it is a little unusual for them to be starring in their own Bisexual Reality Show. Tila's Reality show is called "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila," and premiered on MTV this past October.

Dating Reality shows are not a new concept these days, most of us have seen or heard of shows like "Blind Date" or "The Bachelor". However, Tila's show has a bit of a sexual this series there are 16 straight males and 16 lesbian women who are all competing for Tila's affection. In fact, in the first episode of the show, the contestants are not even aware of Tila's bisexuality, or that they will be competing against the opposite sex.

I am not much of a Reality TV fan, but when my Girlfriend told me about this one, I had to check it out. And just like most Reality shows, you can quickly get hooked. Now I don't want to give away too much, but I will say I was a bit disappointed at the lack of "butch looking" lesbians (only 1 and a half) among the contestants, the rest more closely resemble porn-star rejects.

I am not an expert on Tila Tequila, nor have I followed her career, but based on her comments, actions and clothing choices, you definitly get the feeling she is quite immature, a bit permiscuous and very possibly new to the "bisexual" scene. So if your looking for intelligence or depth, you won't find it on this MTV series...but at least there are a few woman-on-women make-out scenes to keep your attention.

If I have enticed you enough to check out this series, the first 9 episodes are available at the MTV website and the season Finale, Episode 10, will air on December 18th.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ten Secrets To Becoming A Catalyst For World Transformation

This article was emailed to me by a friend and I found it poignant enough to share...

by Julie Jordan Scott

  1. Choose to have only one way of being: living intentionally,deliberately, purposefully and be consistent to that no matter what hat you arewearing be endeavor towards your larger vision.
  2.  Reach inside when you hit obstacles. Instead of looking outside yourself by playing a subtle blame game, go deeply within instead. Uncover how you could make a different decision and then take focused, purposeful action accordingly.
  3. Reach out to others, sharing your discoveries and thoughts with those inside your circle of influence and those outside your circle of influence. World transformation begins with communicating our beliefs into being.
  4. Integrate your truth down to the cellular level. In acting from this level of belief, your transformation will be able to become visible to others. The sense of empowerment will then spread from you to others whose lives with whom you are in contact.
  5. Facilitate growth of those around you through mentoring, coaching, teaching, and creating purposeful relationships. Even a "one minute relationship" may have life changing results! Be aware of possibilities in each conversation with each person you meet everyday.
  6.  Communicate with the power of a laser and the expansiveness of prosperous words. Make each word count. Practice this skill joyfully. Eliminate words of fear, scarcity and lack replacing them with words of love, abundance and prosperity.
  7.  Meet each person you encounter exactly where they are with love and compassion. Look into their eyes when you talk with them and really REALLY hear their words. Challenge them to no longer accept the status quo.
  8. Effectively use your unique gifts rather than living according to someone else's expectations for you. Embrace your gifts as yours. Trying to express someone else's specialness creates counterfeit personal currency. Your gifts are riches like gold and silver.
  9.  Take passionate action every day. Do not miss a single day. As you are moving seriously towards world transformation, do not settle for manic action. Demand of yourself intentional, love filled, laser focused action. The results will speak volumes.
  10. Laugh, cry, love, nurture, applaud with passion! Be alive in all things, whether it be in quiet contemplation of raucous celebration. Spread that aliveness.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Jodie Foster OUT's Herself???

If you can believe this... in a speech on Tuesday, at the 16th annual Hollywood Reporter’s Women in Entertainment Power 100 breakfast, Jodie Foster thanked "my beautiful Cydney who sticks with me through all the rotten and the bliss" while accepting the Sherry Lansing Leadership Award. If your wondering who Cydney is...well Cydney Bernard, a television producer, is the women who has been "reported" as being Jodie Foster's Life Partner. Although Foster has never openly admitted her relationship with Cydney Bernard, whom she met in 1993 on the set of Sommersby, Cydney has been living with Jodie for the last 14 years and has been helping her raise her 2 kids.

In an interview with More magazine in September, Jodie admitted that the Tiffany ring she was wearing was "an eternity ring" that she never takes off. And in an interview with the Denver Post, Jodie was commenting on her acting career and stated, “I need to have something that doesn't belong to my mom, doesn’t belong to my kids, doesn’t belong to my partner.”

Wow, Jodie Foster used the "P" word...if that doesn't shout I am a lesbian, then what does?

Sunday, December 2, 2007

In Memory of Jane Rule

Although some of you may not be familiar with the author Jane Rule, chances are, most of you have heard about or read one of her books, especially "Desert of the Hearts," which was made into a movie in 1986 called "Desert Hearts."

In an introduction to one of Jane Rule's books, novelist Katherine V. Forrest writes, “The books of Jane Rule are not only groundbreaking in their historical context, they hold some of the wisest, most eloquent and passionate writing in our literature. . . Jane Rule should finally be given her full due and the judgment she deserves: she is one of our finest writers—surely the most significant lesbian writer of the twentieth century.”

Jane Rule was born in New Jersey in 1931 and graduated from Mills College in 1952. Jane was not only a author of lesbian books, she was also a role model and a voice for free speech and gay rights. In 1956, Jane moved to Canada where not long after, her life partner of 50 years, Helen Sonthoff, soon joined her. In 1976, after Jane's first heart attack, and Helen's tenured retirement, they decided to move to Galiano Island, BC, Canada. Helen passed away in 1999 at age 83, and on November 27, 2007, Jane, age 76, died at her home, surrounded by friends and family.

I believe there is something extraordinary about an author’s ability to outlive their corporeal death... the written word can transcend any physical state of being... as if it were the true meaning of eternal life.

If you have never read any of Jane Rule's Book, here are a few you may want to take a look at:

Desert of the Hearts
The Young One in Another's Arms
After the Fire

Let California Ring (Have you seen their videos?)

I know that some of you know about the "Let California Ring" campaign...I mean you can't really be a lesbian and not have heard something about it, especially if you're in California. Well just in case you haven't, here is the 411 from

Let California Ring is a public education campaign to open hearts and minds about the freedom to marry and the respect, support, protections, and responsibilities that come with marriage. Every day, gay and lesbian Californians are denied the freedom to marry the person they love. Through a groundbreaking television ad and video, an interactive website and a statewide network of community leaders and volunteers, the campaign addresses the public’s concerns and conflicts about marriage and same-sex couples, builds a better understanding of the everyday challenges lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Californians face, and encourages dialogue through individual and public conversations about ways to end exclusion.

Okay, now that you have a better idea of what this campaign is about, you have to check out some of their videos. I just saw this one today and if you have a few minutes, it is definitely worth taking a look at.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Bad Holiday Gift ideas for your Lesbian Significant Other

After I had created my Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide, I was thinking that it might be fun to blog about what NOT to get your girlfriend/wife/partner for the Holidays. So, to make it a bit more interesting, I posed this question to a group of my friends..."What do you think would be a terrible gift to get from your girlfriend/wife/partner/soon-to-be-partner or soon-to-be-ex for the Holidays?"

This is what they came up with:

  1. Any sort of kitchen appliance (unless they're a chef)

  2. Clothing (unless they pick it gift cards, either)

  3. A statuette of ANYTHING

  4. The announcement that you're pregnant

  5. A home knit sweater

  6. A Chia pet

  7. Anything holiday specific ( i.e. "The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker")

  8. A gift certificate for a makeover and/or liposuction

  9. A surprise winter camping trip
  10. (1-9 from Casey)

  11. I don’t think many women would appreciate a membership to the gym for x-mas, but there is always an exception.

  12. I never thought I would like to get a vacuum for x-mas, but if it was the dyson I have been eyeing, it might be ok.
  13. (10-11 from Brandy)

  14. Superstition say not to give a Clock to anyone because it symbolizes that time is running out.

  15. Also not a good idea to give perfume - because when the perfume is gone, so is the love.
  16. (12-13 from Angela)

  17. A “re-gift” from an ex or to an ex that you never gave to them

  18. A single ticket to anything – especially a one way ticket out of town

  19. A “how to" sex book, not the kind that are fun to share as a couple but the kind that indicates that you are less than satisfactory in the bedroom– especially if the relationship is new
  20. (14-16 from Tracy)

  21. A dishwasher

  22. A vacuum

  23. Toothpicks

  24. A venereal disease

  25. Salve ointment

  26. Toilet paper

  27. Tampons...These are just a few of the things I can imagine NOT wanting for Christmas.
  28. (17-23 from Julie)

  29. A framed pic of your g'friend and her most recent Ex.
  30. (24 from Treena)

  31. Well I guess you wouldn’t want to get a book on: 101 Ways to Please Yourself
  32. (25 from Kristy)

  33. Something that will break (for obvious reasons)

  34. A wedding/promise ring (better to pick it out together)

  35. A pet (what if she's allergic?)

  36. Something that she would get herself (cuz the best presents are what you really want but can't bring yourself to buy - the super-special treats)
  37. (26-29 from Bridgette)

  38. Cooking lessons

  39. Appliances (i.e. a pasta maker)

  40. A subscription to a book club

  41. And definitely don't get your butch GF a gift certificate to a clothing store she'd never even think of stepping foot into

  42. A one way ticket on a cruise ship to the Antarctica...w/ the latest Kelly Clarkson CD
  43. (30-34 from Sam)

  44. Anything that says Christmas

  45. A perfume I dont like (ask me and I'll tell you which one is my favorite)
  46. Clothes

  47. Gift card
  48. (35-38 from Leila)

  49. Jumper cable nipple clamps
  50. (39 from Lala)

  51. A subscription to Good Housekeeping

  52. A Padded Push-up Bra - Like I need one
  53. (41-42 are my own personal additions)

Nice to see that my friends aren't too cynical...yah right! But really ladies, thanks for all your help on this one, I got a kick out of reading all of your answers.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide

Believe it or not, December is right around the corner, and you know what that, I wasn't referring to the next season of L-Word (although that does begin on Jan 6th). Actually, I was referring to the the know, Christmas, Chanukah, Winter Solstice... So I guess the big question is...have you started shopping yet? Well, I have been thinking about just that subject lately. So to get a jump start on the gift giving season, I thought maybe I would help out by giving you a few gift ideas for all those lesbians in your life.

Book Ideas
Books are aways a great gift...and you don't have to worry about anyone's size. Here are a few that I thought might make a great gift.

Grl 2 Grl
by Julie Anne Peters
In this honest, emotionally captivating short story collection, renowned author and National Book Award finalist, Julie Ann Peters, offers a stunning portrayal of young women as they navigate the hurdles of relationships and sexual identity. From the young lesbian taking her first steps towards coming out, to the two strangers who lock eyes across a crowded train, Grl2Grl shows the rawness of teenage emotion as young women begin to discover the intricacies of love, dating and sexuality.

Jane's World Vol. 7
by Paige Braddock
Synopsis: Chelle is about to uncover the whereabouts of Virginia's missing ex, Rachel, when Jill is kidnapped by the Nevada Liberation Militia. Yes, those mullet-wearing chicks in plaid shirts hit Chelle up for a $2 million ransom, or no safe return of Jill. Meanwhile, Jane gets talked into manning the captain's chair of a 1984 Winnebago, on its annual "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" tour to Palm Springs... Only they never make it to Palm Springs! Mayhem ensues when guys in drag meet chicks with mullets and guns near the Sedona Vortex where Jane shape shifts into her animal totem and runs like the wind! Yeah baby... Girl on girl action, chicks with guns, a vegan menace, vintage Winnebagos and the powerful transformative energy of the Sedona Vortex... this book has it all!

In Deep Waters
by Radclyffe and Karin Kallmaker
Synopsis: From honeymooning couples to strangers with mutual desires, there are no secrets about what goes on between embarkation, midnight buffets and ports-of-call. Passengers, entertainers, ship's crew and tour staff explore every inch of each other and their floating paradise. The lounge. The ex's stateroom. The casino. The little room no one else has realized is so handy, and so private.

Best Lesbian Erotica 2007
by Tristan Taormino
Synopsis: A fire-eater, a voluptuous masseuse, and a naked game of tag in a forest at twilight — it could only be Best Lesbian Erotica 2007, the latest, boldest edition of the hottest lesbian erotica series in America. In Andrea Miller’s “Heavenly Bodies,” an adventurous woman sleeps her way through the zodiac, her twelve lovers including romantic Cancer, exhibitionist Leo, and an unforgettably raw, dominant Scorpio. Peggy Munson twists and teases the canon in “Subtexts,” a hardcore butch-femme re-imagining of Little Red Riding Hood, Moby-Dick, and other tales that already sound dirty. Edited by award-winning author, adult film director, and sex educator Tristan Taormino, and selected and introduced by Emma Donoghue, these fearless stories will stir your senses and test your erotic boundaries.

Movies Ideas
Movies are another great gift idea, I mean who doesn't like movies??? Here are a few lesbian related movies I thought might make a good gift.

The Gymnast
Synopsis: Talented Jane Hawkins (Dreya Weber, Lovely & Amazing) was an impressive gymnast at the top of her game until a devastating injury ended her career. Years later, a chance meeting sets Jane on a new path – performing a cirque style aerial act with a mysterious dancer named Serena (Addie Yungmee). As the stunning pair prepares for a Las Vegas show, the pull between them becomes increasingly unavoidable.

Loving AnnabelleWriter/director Katherine Brooks adapts the classic lesbian drama Mädchen in Uniform with this tale of a precocious senator's daughter and Catholic boarding school student who falls desperately in love with her beautiful poetry teacher. Simone Bradley (Diane Gaidry) is a teacher who finds peace within the walls of Saint Theresa's school, and purpose in bringing the wonders of poetry to her young female students. Though newly arrived student Annabelle (Erin Kelly) has notable intelligence and charisma to spare, her fiery disobedience finds the stern headmistress imploring Simone to reign in the young rebel. But Annabelle's insubordination is about to become the least of Simone's concerns, because when the advances of the passionate young woman reveal her teacher's innermost desires, the devoted teacher will be forced to choose between her career and an affair that could quite possibly destroy her livelihood. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Exterminating Angels
From the director who scandalized France with Secret Things, comes The Exterminating Angels, a film that will shock you, make you think and turn you on. Francois is a filmmaker holding auditions for his upcoming film about female pleasure. He expects the process to be unconventional but cannot predict the danger that so much arousal can cause. As his female cast embarks on a journey of intense physical pleasure-seeking they become emotionally involved with the director and each other. This film brings new meaning to the warning to never mix business with pleasure.

Lword Season 4
THE L WORD Season 4 picks up with the women wrestling with issues close to their hearts. As with previous seasons, old demons rear their ugly heads and a host of new characters are brought into their fold, offering them access to a broader community with diverse issues. THE L WORD® stars Jennifer Beals, Leisha Hailey, Laurel Holloman, Mia Kirshner, Katherine Moennig, Dallas Roberts, Daniela Sea, Rachel Shelley, and Pam Grier. Newest additions to the cast include Cybill Shepherd, Marlee Matlin, Janina Gavankar and Rose Rollins. Special guest stars are Rosanna Arquette, Eric Roberts, Bruce Davison, Kristanna Loken and Jane Lynch. This season, the war in Iraq becomes an integral part of Alice's (Hailey) life as she struggles to move on after the death of Dana; Helena (Shelley) tries to find financial independence and come to terms with leaving behind a world of privilege; Phyllis Kroll (Shepherd) -- who takes the courageous plunge late in life to come out of the closet -- risking everything that has defined her life up to now; and, Bette (Beals) has to deal with Jodi Lerner (Matlin), a woman who confronts her head-on about her Type-A personality.

Lesbian Sex & Sexuality
Lesbian Sex and Sexuality will take viewers on an uncharted and provocative journey where the subject of lesbian sexuality and desire isn't whispered, but celebrated.

Puccini for Beginners
Synopsis: New York writer and opera addict Allegra (Elizabeth Reaser, The Family Stone) loves her girlfriend Samantha (Julianne Nicholson, Kinsey), but can’t commit. When Samantha leaves her, Allegra rebounds with handsome philosophy professor Phillip (Justin Kirk, Angels in America) as well as the irresistibly beautiful, recently single Grace (Gretchen Mol, The Notorious Bettie Page). Allegra juggles secret relationships with both of them, never suspecting that Philip and Grace have a connection of their own. With a sophisticated blend of humor and irony, this screwball sex comedy twists and turns with all the drama of classic Puccini.

Calendars have always been a traditional Holiday gift in my family, but with calendars like these, I think I will save these for my "extended family."

These incredible black and white images of women's bodies, by Theresa LoSchiavo, make this the must have Lesbian calendar for 2008.

On the Lips 2008 Calendar
Photographer Judy Francesconi's On the Lips 2008 calendar brings us 16 months of women in love and lust.

This 2008 Calendar, by photographer Saryn Angel, show a unique representation of woman, sexuality, power and pleasure in all it's playfulness.

Sex Toys
Whether your looking for something special for your partner, or a gift for your best friend (usually your ex), sex toys are always a fun possibility. Here are a few items that might make the perfect Holiday gift.

Lap of Luxury Kit
Here is what Babeland has to say about this kit.

"Whoever called diamonds 'a girl’s best friend' clearly never received the Form 6 deluxe vibrator as a present. It’s impeccably crafted, waterproof, body-friendly, and offers a range of sensations from pulsations to oscillations to vibrations. Giving the Form 6 instead of an ordinary vibe is like buying a Lexus instead of an ordinary car; once you’ve enjoyed this ride, you’ll never go back. Kit includes a sleek glass bottle filled with slippery, high-quality Entice lube and a 1-ounce bottle of Babeland Toy Cleaner."

Archer Wand
Here is what Babeland has to say about this item:
"A G-spotter to thrill your inner Aphrodite, this gorgeous curved dildo with wide rounded ends is guaranteed to hit the spot. If you love G-spot stimulation or want an artfully crafted tool to find yours, this captivating clear Pyrex bow is perfectly angled for a woman to reach her own G-spot, and it makes for a thrilling addition to partner play. For women who find fingers and thin toys too pointy, the smooth blunt balls feel purrrfect. Comes in a Ruby Red velvet case. 9" long, the balls are 1-1/2" in diameter while the handle is 3/4" wide."

"Feeldoe is a harness-free strap-on for women. The bulb is inserted into the vagina and the dildo extends out at a natural angle to penetrate your partner. There are ridges at the base of the dildo for clitoral stimulation when thrusting and also an added bonus of a small vibrator, which can be inserted into the end of the dildo, or left out, Holding it in gives you stronger orgasms, as the kegel muscle responsible for those gets a good exercise. it's silicone, it's flexible, warms to body heat, hypoallergenic and hygienic (boilable and bleachable in a 10% solution). The main part of the Feeldoe is 7" in length and 1 1/2" in width. The bulb part is 3 1/2" long by 1 3/4" in diameter."

If you need gifts for those lesbians in your life who have a passion for stylish clothing, accesories or jewelry, here are a few ideas for some more "lesbian centric" items.

Leather Cuffs
I saw these great leather cuffs at the DITC shop (Dykes in the city). These cuffs are made with extremely soft black leather. They offer two separate styles, one with brass hardware around the outside of the cuff and one with brass hoops throughout the cuffs. Each cuff is embossed with the ditc logo.

I found this Doormat at a site called psychotherapy clothing. This is a great site with a variety of T-shirts and novelty products that take a humorous look at psychological terms and social issues. I chose this Doormat for my gift guide because I knew my GF would get a kick out of, I thought what a great gift for that person in your life that still doesn't quite "get it," if you know what I mean.

Double Venus Pendant with stone pendant
This beautiful Sterling Silver pendent was designed by Jane Iris.
"Venus is the planet associated with the yin qualities of affection,receptivity,creativity and harmony. Coupled together,the Double Venus has become a symbol for Lesbians."

Well I am sure I could have come up with a million more ideas, but I do have a life, so I better get back to it. Hopefully, if nothing else, I at least got you into the Holiday shopping mood.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian

I often find myself reading other lesbian blogs... not only for news and up-to-date politics, but also for insight and entertainment. One of my new favorite blogs, Lesbiatopia just did an article on 69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian. Since I got such a kick out of reading this article, I thought I should share it with you all. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Oh...just a slight warning, this article should probably be rated R.

"Lesbiatopia is happy to celebrate it's 100th post - in my eyes, it's a milestone and very exciting that we've come this far. In an effort to pop open the proverbial bottle of champagne, the Contributors of Lesbiatopia have decided to share with you 69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian. Why 69 and not 100? Well, because when you're a lesbian, 69 is so much better and in the words of Dubbs, "We're here, we're queer, and we're sharing it with the world!" So here you go world, our elusive, exclusive and ejaculatory list of delicious fabulousness. Try not to drool while reading. And to the boys - no need to feel inferior, this was all done in good fun." -Lesberita

Lesberita's Input
1. You don’t have to worry about gagging from a “deep throat job”
2. You never have to worry about finding the toilet seat up
3. You can fix your own car and get your hair done within the same afternoon
4. Your orgasms are real. Always. And so are hers.
5. You never have to swallow
6. You never have to worry about facial hair touching you, anywhere
7. No one cares if you don’t wear a bra
8. You can wear a dick and use it better than most guys
9. Foreplay is an art
10. You are your own form of birth control
11. Women smell amazing
12. You don’t feel like a piece of meat, when she checks you out
13. You can cuddle without feeling like you have to “put out”
14. You find a woman’s intellect to be sexy
15. You watch porn for entertainment purposes
16. You feel bad for strippers
17. Orgasms are like Cornucopias – they should called the horn of plenty
18. You never have to worry about breaking a nail, because you don’t have any
19. You can pretty much have sex anywhere, at anytime, while flying completely under the radar
20. Sex in public bathrooms is so much easier
21. 69ing is so much more fun (and a lot easier too)

Hillbilly's Input
22. I love the smell of a woman
23. I get to do the motor boat in my girlfriend’s fabulous tits every day!
24. I love the emotional availability of a woman
25. I love the nurturing care a woman offers
26. I love watching my girlfriend get ready for a night on the town – watching her get out of the shower naked, put on her perfume, do her makeup
27. I like the feel of a soft pussy over a hard, intrusive penis
28. I love cuddling and feeling my girlfriend’s soft skin
29. I love kissing a woman’s soft lips (yes, both of them – cuz I know that’s what you’re thinking!)
30. I get to have a best friend and a partner all in one
31. I get to wear her clothes and use her make-up!!!

Dubbs' input
32. great carpet muncher
33. sex on a first date...without fear of pregnancy
34. "no man's ever going to tell ME what to do!"
35. it's like dating yourself
36. double the wardrobe, double the FUN!
37. WAY less body hair
38. no spooging in your face
39. women taste better
40. especially the vegan ones
41. one word...BOOBIES!!!
42. "we were just switching clothes, officer!"
43. No 2 clits are alike!
44. Women make sexier bedroom noises
45. Lingerie you can BOTH wear!
46. Double headed dildos
47. The ultimate in feminism
48. Chick flicks are just movies in a lesbians house
49. better kisses
50. no scratchy faces
51. you LIKE when she grabs your ass
52. if it really came down to it, you could totally find SOME dude who'd pay to watch you go down on your girlfriend
53. women don't pass out after orgasms
54. you can do her front ways, back ways, and side ways cuz the wrist moves freer than the hips
55. fingers always fit
56. never having to deal with "morning wood"
57. less farting...which I don't actually know is true but women do not take pride in it
58. you could call her your "roommate" and it's ok

Paula the Surf Mom's input
59. premature ejaculation? what IS that?
60. Eating pussy is good for the complexion… it always makes mine pretty rosy any way.
61. The trashman never sees used condoms in your trash when he hauls it away.
62. If you work it right you and your partner never have to buy your own drinks when you go out… all you have to do it make out… the guys in the bar will just keep em coming just so you keep it going.
63. Lesbians know that you can do more with your fingers then send text messages.
64. Somebody will always has a tampon in an emergency
65. And your partner won’t get all embarrassed if you send them to the store to get you some.
66. You are very popular… girls like lesbians, they all want to kiss us….guys like lesbians, they all want to watch movies about us… everybody likes lesbians.
67. Two mommies in the house are always better then one daddy on the golf course
68. You are sure somebody can cook
69. It good to have a partner who has a sense of fashion

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Wild Women of the Woods: Sexism in Bigfoot Research

I found this article quite interesting and unique, so I thought I would share it... and Paige, this one is especially for you.

Women get used to no one taking us seriously. Strong men are macho; strong women are witches (or the word that rhymes with it).

Bigfoot research is no different. The big, manly Bigfoot hunters go out in the wilderness while the womenfolk stay home. Watch a documentary about Bigfoot and who do you see? Men. Browse for books about Bigfoot and who wrote 99% of them? Men. Listen to a radio program about Bigfoot and who do you hear? Men.

Now I like men. But as a woman—even worse, a single woman—engaged in a testosterone-ridden field of research, I can testify to the fact that most male Bigfoot researchers haven't heard about equal rights or women in the workplace. One man told me women don't want to get involved in Bigfoot research because they're afraid of the woods. Come on!

But the situation is changing slowly. More women are getting involved in Bigfoot research, though their efforts go mostly ignored—save for the work of Autumn Williams, who has appeared on the series "SciFi Investigates" and also had her own series for awhile. Still, women face an uphill battle when entering the field. Most decide to go it on their own, rather than jockeying for a place in an established Bigfoot group.

The Single Girl & the Sasquatch

When I discussed sexism & Bigfoot research on my blog, Bigfoot Quest, the posts attracted a lot of attention. Apparently, my posts made the rounds of other blogs too, and I welcome the exposure. The issue has to be discussed honestly—so that at least women researchers who've experienced this kind of treatment will know they are not alone.

The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. Both women and men have emailed me to express their support for what I've said. A few anonymous cretins have posted comments insinuating that I must be a lesbian. I'm not, but that's really beside the point. I guess these people haven't read my Semantics Series posts, in which I explain that words have no power over me. I recently watched a documentary on the History Channel in which scholars discussed the original meaning of the word lesbian. The term referred to ancient Greek women who lived on the island of Lesbos. They were renowned lovers of men, not each other! I find this fact interesting, since these days people love to accuse strong women of being lesbians—which, to the name-caller, means "man-hater."

We wild women of the woods are not angry man-haters. Some are married; some, like me, are single. Others may indeed be lesbians, but who cares? Most of the members of my group MUPBO are men. I turn no one away—no matter their beliefs, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, or whatever other classification you might apply. And no amount of name-calling will drive me out of this field of research. I hope other women who have experienced the dirty little secret of Bigfoot (and UFO) research will take heart when they read about women like Autumn Williams, Mary Green, Regan Lee, Linda Martin, myself, and other women like us.

The House of Bigfoot Has a Glass Ceiling

Like it or not, women are not publicly visible in this field of research. Scan listings of Bigfoot books and you'll find scarcely a woman in the bunch. Watch documentaries about Bigfoot and you'll see nary a female. The average person interested in Bigfoot—the sort who doesn't belong to a Bigfoot organization or attend Bigfoot conferences—would know nothing about the women who conduct Bigfoot research.

Recently, I watched repeats of several documentaries about Bigfoot. The Discovery Channel series "Best Evidence" featured an episode about Bigfoot. The only women in the show were not Bigfoot researchers; one was a skeptic, anthropologist Nina Jablonski; another was a scientist who helped perform an experiment to see if a man in a suit could mimic the movements of the Patterson film Bigfoot. The Bigfoot experts were all male.

The National Geographic Channel series "Is It Real?" featured an episode about Bigfoot in North America and another about Russian Bigfoot. Neither offered comments from women researchers. The episode about North American Bigfoot showcased the Carter case, where a family claims to have had multiple encounters with Bigfoot over the course of several decades. A woman researcher, Mary Green, pioneered the case. She even wrote a book about it. Yet the National Geographic Channel either never spoke to Mary Green or chose to edit her out of the show. Either way, the implication seems clear: men are more believable than women.

On the Travel Channel's "Weird Travels," a film crew documented the activities of the Texas Bigfoot Research Center. One woman was shown, though she was described as a "volunteer." The men were described as "field investigators." A woman on a field expedition surely goes along only as a volunteer, not an investigator in her own right.

Women are not publicly visible—yet. If we accept the situation, nothing will change. The more we discuss the problem, the less the media will be able to ignore the existence of women researchers.

Wild women of the woods unite!

Lisa A. Shiel is the author of Backyard Bigfoot: The True Story of Stick Signs, UFOs, & the Sasquatch, a ForeWord Magazine 2006 Book of the Year finalist. Critics have praised Backyard Bigfoot, saying “[it] is as informative as it is entertaining” (Midwest Book Review), “[it is] one of the best types of investigative reporting I've seen” (Reader Views), and “you may agree or not with her conclusions but you will be entertained by the discussions” (The Mining Journal, Marquette).

As a recognized Bigfoot expert, Lisa has been interviewed by big-city newspapers, drive-time talk radio hosts, local and national magazines, and TV reporters. In 2005, she founded the Michigan Upper Peninsula Bigfoot Organization (MUPBO) to explore all aspects of the Bigfoot phenomenon, from sightings to evolution to UFOs. Lisa has a master's degree in Library Science. She currently pens a blog, Bigfoot Quest, as a companion to the MUPBO site.

Article Source:

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Pet Poisons

Okay, so I know your all thinking what do Pet Poisons have to do with Lesbians? Well, it's like this...a friend of mine had recently sent me an email with a warning about how raisins and grapes are toxic to dogs. It made me realize that there may be quite a few people who aren't aware of how many household items and foods are toxic to animals. So, since many of my lesbian friends happen to have pets, I figured that posting a list of these items might be helpful. (Did you all catch that lesbian tie- in?)

Food Toxins
Macadamia Nuts
Moldy Foods
Onions & Onion Powder
Products sweetened with xylitol
Yeast dough

Household Toxins
Alcoholic beverages
Anti Freeze
Cleaners & Detergents
Compost Piles
Fabric Softener Sheets
Lighter Fuel
Pool Chemicals
Post-1982 pennies (due to high concentration of zinc)

Garden Toxins
English Holly
English Ivy
Mushroom plants
Plant Food
Skunk Cabbage
Snail & Slug Bait
Weed killers

ASPCA Hot line

For a complete list of toxic and poisonous items, visit

Saturday, November 3, 2007

You know You Are in a Healthy Relationship When...

We all have different ideas about what a "healthy" relationship should be. And although each of us usually have our own personal set of requirements when we start dating someone new, there are also some basic guidelines that can help us figure out if our relationships are, or can be, truly healthy.

I found a couple of different relationship guides that I thought had some great information. And I will probably post them all at some point, but this particular one by Peggy Walton, I decided to share with some friends and co-workers (Lesbian & Straight women), to get their opinions. Most of them agreed that the information was very insightful, however, a couple of them told me it was hard to read...not hard as in "I don't get it," but hard in the sense that it made them look at their own relationships in a way they hadn't, at least not for a long time.

Anyway, whether or not you agree with this guide, I felt it was worth sharing...if nothing else, it will make you question a few things about yourself and your own relationships...and in my world, that is a good thing.

Healthy Relationship Guide#1
by Peggy Walton

  • Your partner wants you to realize your dreams and will do anything to help achieve them.

  • They are self-sufficient and complete human beings. (If not, then you may find youeself neglecting part of yourself in some way to compensate for their deficiency.)

  • They take responsibility for their own happiness. It is not your job.

  • They do not use negative tactics for getting their own way or dominating you. Criticism, put-downs, guilt, shame, intolerance, neglect, combativeness, aggression, and threat; the list goes on. Silence can be a negative tactic, if there is communication that needs to take place, and so can defensiveness.

  • When they speak to you, it is always with love, acceptance and approval.

  • They support and respect your ideas, beliefs and wishes no matter how different from their own.

  • Your self-esteem improves when you are together.

  • Your circle of friends grows.

  • They do little things to please you.

  • When something bothers you, they are truly concerned.

  • They help resolve problems.

  • They help you find time for yourself. Without this you will never grow.

  • They share in responsibilities, even with things that are unpleasant or mundane.

  • Your time is just as valuable as theirs.

  • They give you freedom to try new things, take chances and to make mistakes. Human beings are constantly evolving and are not meant to be caged physically, emotionally or psychologically.

  • In short, they provide the security, love and nurturing that is required for you to soar where life itself is wonderful and the relationships are an added bonus. Because you are willing to do the same for them, the relationship will continue to scale new heights while love, honor and respect grows deeper and broader."

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Lesbian Break-up Defined, well sorta...

While browsing the Internet, as you all know I often do, I found this entertaining site called Encyclopedia Dramatica. The name alone was enough to get me intrigued, but I also happened to find this fun little article/definition about lesbian break-ups that needed to be shared, so here it is...

Lesbian Break-Up
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A highly ritualised form of warfare which at first appears to be between two lesbian former girlfriends, but which in fact involves all of each woman's family, friends, acquaintances, former girlfriends, co-workers, pets, clergy persons, neighbors, classmates (kindergarten and later), and congressional representatives. All too frequently, it also includes a large number of passersby, wandering squirrels, and foreigners who have never so much as met either of the parties involved.

The general atmosphere of a lesbian break-up is similar to that of trench warfare, bearing in mind of course that the Geneva convention does not apply, while the casualties are more in line with large-scale mutually annihilitive thermonuclear war.

When the Lesbian Two Degrees of Separation are accounted for, it rapidly becomes apparent that each lesbian break-up eventually includes every living thing on earth. Religious scholars have attempted to extend this by formulating what's called the lesbian theodicy, which states that "evil exists in the world because lesbians have free will to break up", but an analysis of this theory is beyond the scope of this article.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

A bit of Lesbian Terminology

I was reading some lesbian articles over the weekend and came across some interesting lesbian terminology. I was so entertained by some of these words and definitions that I started to do a bit more research on the subject. I was amazed to find how many different lesbian terms/slang that I had never heard of before.

Anyway, I thought it might be fun to put together a list of various lesbian terms and definitions for my blog, you never know, you might just learn something new. Oh, and if I missed any, which is very likely, then send me an email and I will add them to my list.

Lesbian Terminology

A lesbian who is neither masculine nor feminine in appearance or behavior. Universally known as Unisex.

Baby Dyke
A young butch or soft butchunder the age of 25.

Blue Jean Femme
A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts.

Boston Marriage
Old fashioned term describing two unmarried women who shared a house together. Origins: This originates from the nineteenth century when it was acceptable for two unmarried women to share a house together. As to how many of these women were lesbians is unknown.

Incredibly masculine lesbian.
Origins: This supports the theory that dyke originates from the Celtic language as Queen Boudicca was around at the time and she was known for being an incredibly powerful woman.

Used to describe a lesbian who is masculine in appearance and outlook. Often relates to the way she dresses, the hairstyle, the shoes she wears etc.
Origins: Some say it comes from 1930's America from Butch, a strong and popular man's name of that time. Others believe it stems from the 1950's when both in the UK and USA working class lesbian couples dressed as one masculine and one feminine, whilst the middle class preferred to hide behind their feminine demeanor.

Chapstick Lesbian Another term for androgynous or Sporty Lesbian.
Origins: Introduced in the late 1990's to take on all those lipstick lesbians out there!

Once again this term means incredibly masculine lesbian, particularly those that drive heavy equipment and trucks.

Another term for butch. Originally used as disparaging term for a lesbian.
Origins: This may have originated from the Celtic language, or possibly from the slang word dike used in the nineteenth century, which means male clothing. This term is widely accepted in lesbian circles but if a straight person were to call you a dyke this is thought to be offensive!

A lesbian icon, such as kd lang, Melissa Etheridge, or Ellen Degeneres

Earthy-crunchy dyke/Granola Lesbian
A lesbian who is usually vegetarian and usually either New Age or Neopagan and has a She is often considered an earth-mother type and tends to wear Birkenstocks.

A lesbian who dresses in a feminine nature and has a feminine manner. Femmes are said to prefer skirts, flouncy clothes, makeup, and spending inconceivable amounts on their hair. (Not always true). They are the opposites of butch.
Origins: This originates from the same time as when the term butch became popular in the 1950's where lesbians were forced to choose which way they would dress in bars, or the working class lesbian couples chose to dress that way.

A gay Asian female.

Glamour butch
A butch who likes to wear fancy suits, tuxedos, etc, frequently.

Gold-star lesbian
A lesbian who never has and never intends to have sex with a man. Sometimes they also get points for never sleeping with bisexuals.

A lesbian who's too old to be a baby dyke, but still fairly young and is usually a soft butch.

Another term for Lesbian. The term was suggested in 1946 by Kurt Hiller because of what he considered to negative connotations of "lesbian" (or "homosexual") but the term never caught on.

High Femme
A lesbian who expresses the cultural norm for ultra-femininity - makeup, dresses, heels, hair, nails. May not identify as a lesbian if her desires are exclusively for Stone Butches and FtM's.

Lesbian Bed Death
This is a term invented by sex researcher Pepper Schwartz to describe the supposedly inevitable diminishment of sexual passion in long term lesbian relationships. The term is sometimes used to refer to diminished sexual activity in any long term relationship.

Lipstick Lesbian
Another term for femme. However it can also mean feminine women who are attracted to other feminine women.
Origins: This is a slang term introduced in the late 1990's.

Low femme
A femme lesbian who is, perhaps, not quite so stereotypically feminine as a high femme, usually preferring jeans and a blouse or t-shirt to skirts for everyday. Also known as a Blue Jean Femme.

Lesbian Potential, used when playing spot-the-queers in public places, as in "she's got high LP"

A masculine woman of any orientation. Another definition is a woman who takes a male cultural role while not necessarily passing as male.

Mama Bear
A female police officer or security guard.

Pan Sexual
One who exhibits or suggests a sexuality that has many different forms, objects, and outlets. One who exhibits many forms of sexual expression.

Pillow Princess
A lesbian who is unwilling or uninterested in reciprocating sex.

Any lesbian under the age of consent.

Queer was originally a derogatory term used to taunt and mock anyone who was not heterosexual or who did not conform to or uphold society's gender expectations. Now queer has been reclaimed by much of the LGBTQ community as an umbrella term referring to sexual orientations and identities (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning) that fall outside of the mainstream. It can also express a conscious desire to challenge the societal norm.

Another term for lesbianism
Origins: Direct origination from the poet Sappho who wrote love sonnets to and about women.

Saturday Night Butch
A term from the 1950s and 60s, when butch/femme was the norm in lesbian bars, this means that a person was not a real butch, but only dressed up as a butch on the weekends.

Serial Monogamy
This is the way some lesbians choose to aviod the possibility of Lesbian Bed Death. Short but exclusive relationships, generally very passionate and intense. Sometimes seen by others as merely a way of avoiding intimacy.

Soft Butch
A soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance is usually more androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine on the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.

Sport Dyke
A sport dyke is a lesbian, who more than anything, identifies with being an athlete. She may also dress in a manner that would give the impression she is an athlete, like baseball caps, sweatshirts and jeans.

Stone Butch
Most masculine of the Butches. They may pass as male without actually trying. May identify as transgender, that is identifying outside of the gender usually associated with females and will often be seen as male by the outside world. Does all or most of the above in masculine gender expressions. May or may not be sexually aggressive. Will not be made love to as one would a "woman". Will derive sexual pleasure from pleasing partner and will not allow "womanly" genital touching or penetration. Usually will have questioned their gender at some time in their lives. Will not be comfortable with their female body. May think of Butch as a separate gender from man & woman.

Stone femme
A femme lesbian who never tries to flip or "melt" her Stone Butch. lover, but prefers to pleasure her lover by taking a passive role in sex. A second definition is a femme lesbian who does not like to be touched, much like a stone butch.

Strum Queen
Lesbian that likes masturbating in front of other lesbians.

one who is both a top and a bottom in the leather sense, and switches back and forth or one who is butch sometimes and femme sometimes, and andro sometimes.

An aggressive woman.

Tit King
A lesbian attracted to women with large breasts.

A person who walks through life as another gender not associated with their birth sex; crosses cultural gender boundaries. May identify as a "female man" or "TransMan". Will be recognized at least part of the time by others as men.

Transsexual(FtM or TransMan)
A female born person who takes testosterone and/or has surgery to create a male looking physical body. May simply identify as a straight, gay or bisexual man depending on his desires or may feel his identity is simply "transman or FtM. Many live in "stealth mode" - that is, they live as men and not part of the queer community

One who is in between butch and femme, and can take on either role; a switch

Vagina Wig
(Yes, this term is from the L-Word Series) A vagina wig, also known as a merkin, (hence the Stacy Merkin reference) is exactly as the name implies, a wig worn over the pubic area. According to Wikipedia, merkins were worn by prostitutes beginning in the 1600s after shaving their genitalia to eliminate lice or to disguise the marks of syphilis.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Where is Same-Sex Marriage Legal?

If you haven't heard the bad news already, I am sure you could have guessed it...Last week Governor Schwarzenegger vetoed AB43, the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act. Not that I am surprised to hear about the Governor's veto, but with more and more Californians in support of same-sex marriage and the Legislature approving the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act, it appears as though the Governor is alone in allowing discrimination against same-sex couples in California.

Of course California is not the only location the struggle for equal rights for same-sex couples is occurring, Gays & Lesbians all over the world are fighting for equal protection under the law. Here is a comprehensive guide to same-sex marriage laws around the world that I thought might be interesting for everyone to see.

Nations that recognize gay marriage:

In June of 2005, the Canadian Parliament enacted a law allowing legal marriage for same-sex couples.

The second nation to legalize same-sex marriage in 2003.

The first country to grant gay marriage in 2001.

South Africa
South Africa became the fifth nation to recognize gay marriage in 2005.


Spain became the fourth nation to allow gay marriage on June 29, 2005.

US states that recognize gay marriage:

New Jersey*
New Jersey is the third U.S. state to offer same-sex civil unions behind Vermont and Connecticut. The new same-sex civil unions law, which goes into affect on February 19, 2007, grants gay and lesbian couples the same rights as marriage. *(Although same-sex unions in New Jersey are classified as civil unions, couples are granted the same rights as married heterosexual couples.) read more

On May 17, 2004 Massachusetts became the first U.S. state to legalize same-sex marriage. The State of Massachusetts also issues licenses to gay couples from New Mexico and Rhode Island since neither state explicitly prohibits same-sex marriage.

Nations that allow same-sex partnerships or unions:

Civil partnerships for same-sex couples have been granted since 2003.

Legal civil partnerships have been allowed since 1989.

Has offered registered partnership benefits since September 2001.

Pacte Civil de Solidarité” (PACS), or “Civil Solidarity Pacts,” were instituted in France on November 9, 1999.

Gay couples can register as "Life Partnerships," granting lesser financial and pension benefits than marriage.

Gay couples have been protected under common-law marriages since 1995; however they are not eligible for legal marriage.

Since 1996, gay Icelanders have been protected under registered partnerships.

Civil partnership legislation modeled after France's PACS were introduced in Luxembourg in 2004.

Same sex civil unions were legalized in Mexico City in November 2006 and in the state of Coahuila on January of 2007, essentially making civil unions legal in all of Mexico (by law, each Mexican state must recognize the laws granted to individuals of the other states). (More on Gay Mexico)

New Zealand
In December, 2004, New Zealand enacted legislation recognizing same-sex civil unions.

Since 1996, gay Norwegians have been protected under registered partnerships.

Same-sex partners have the same rights as opposite-sex partners in common law marriage.

Swedish same-sex couples have been able to register under domestic partnership laws since 1995.

Same-sex couples are given limited legal benefits with civil recognition.

United Kingdom
Domestic partners can register under the Civil Partnership Act. This legislation took affect in December 5, 2005 giving registered same-sex couples all of the rights, privileges and responsibilities of married heterosexual couples. The Civil Partnership Act applies across all of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland.

US States that allow same-sex partnerships or unions:

California provides domestic partnership benefits. The state legislature successfully voted in favor of legal gay marriage in California, only to be vetoed by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. In March, 2005, a San Francisco judge ruled that the law banning same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.

Although Connecticut defines marriage as between a man and woman, it became the second U.S. state to grant same-sex civil unions in April, 2005.

New Hampshire
New Hampshire, home of the Episcopal Church's first openly gay bishop, V. Gene Robinson, became the 4th state behind Vermont, New Jersey and Connecticut to offer civil unions. Same-sex partners were allowed to register for civil unions in January 2008. More on New Hampshire Civil Unions

Under Oregon's new domestic partnership law gay and lesbian couples are eligible for all the state-wide rights and benefits of marriage. Oregon also outlaws discrimination based on sexual orientation. (more)

The first U.S. state to offer same-sex civil unions in 2000. Learn about Vermont civil unions.

On April 21, 2007, Washington's domestic partnership bill was signed into law giving gay and lesbian couples many of the benefits of marriage.

Nations that ban same-sex unions:

On March 29, 2005, the constitution of Honduras was amended banning same-sex marriage and adoption by same-sex couples.

December 21, 2005 marked the day Latvian president Vaira Vike-Freiberga signed into law a constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman.

On September 29, 2005, legislation banning same-sex unions was signed by Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni. Penalties for gay marriage will be set in 2006. Under current law, homosexual acts are punishable by imprisonment from five years to life.

This information was gathered by Ramone Johnson from

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Heard about Logo's newest lesbian series Exes & Ohs?

Exes and Ohs is LOGO's newest lesbian comedy series based on the award-winning short film THE TEN RULES: A LESBIAN SURVIVAL GUIDE. The show follows Jennifer (Michelle Paradise, creator of the show), a struggling documentary filmmaker on her search for Ms. Right. Jennifer tries to keep up with the drama of Seattle's dating scene, while learning to adapt to the “rules” of lesbian life, love and community.

To give you an idea of how the series will play out, here is a synopses of the first episode called "There Must Be Rules."

Jennifer (Michelle Paradise) and her best friend Sam (Marnie Alton) discover Jennifer’s girlfriend Sienna (Darby Stanchfield) making out with their couples’ therapist. A year later, Sienna’s marrying the therapist and everyone’s planning to attend – except Jennifer, who has vowed to skip the event. Sam convinces Jennifer to just drive her to the wedding… and Jennifer, wearing only a sweatshirt and jeans, accidentally gets stuck on the wedding yacht.

Sam and everyone’s surrogate little sister Crutch (Heather Matarazzo) tries to help an uncomfortable Jennifer navigate the wedding, but Sam is distracted by her girl-du-jour Becca (Cathy DeBuono), who wants much more than Sam can give…

Meanwhile, Jennifer’s dear friends Chris (Megan Cavanagh) and Kris (Angela Featherstone) have finally decided on their wedding gift: A cockatiel! But the joy of giving the perfect cockatiel soon turns to sadness when Kris sees a drunken Chris flirting with another wedding guest. After Jennifer points out the lesbian “rule” of appropriate dance floor behavior, it’s clear to everyone that Chris has some explaining to do… but can Kris forgive her?

Okay, were you able to keep up with all of that? Well here is a little bit of background on each of the characters:

Jennifer (Michelle Paradise) is looking for Ms. Right. Unfortunately, she's looking in all the wrong places. The poster child for the "Why Do Annoying Things Happen To Good People" association, Jennifer is a recently-dumped smart, single, struggling documentary filmmaker with a vivid fantasy life and has just starting to dip her toes back into the dating pool. She hasn't had sex in a really, really long time - much to the amusement of her friends - but there's always hope on the horizon...

(Megan Cavanaugh) is the first lesbian to come out - and get out - of her small Ohio town. She has a big infectious laugh and is the life of any party. She is also practical, responsible, and doesn't back down from a fight - except when it's with her long term partner Kris, who has Chris wrapped around her pretty finger. When you don't find Chris bowling you can find her skeet shooting (she was her high school champ).

Kris (Angela Featherstone) is the tad-more-feminine than her life partner Chris. She has a sly giggle, an intoxicating smile, and is not ditzy, just operating on a much simpler logic than the rest of us. Raised by Vermont hippies on a maple syrup farm, Kris is happy with herself, loves running the online pet accessories business she owns with Chris, and can always find room in their home - and in her heart - for just one more stray animal

Sam (Marnie Alton) is a sexy, commitment-phobic bartender who, unlike her best friend Jennifer, is only looking for Ms. Right Now. Yes, she's a flirt; and no, she has no problem using her looks to get what she wants... But Sam is also fiercely independent, protective of her friends, and you couldn't ask for a better shoulder to cry on. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the shoulder is hot, if you like those sexy femme types.

Crutch (Heather Matarazzo), of the purple-streaked hair, multiple piercings, and "Dyke Power" bumper stickers, is a 22-year old coffee house barista who harbors a secret crush and aspires to be a famous singer/songwriter... despite the fact that she isn't much of a songwriter (or singer). The group wants to help her as she gets her life together, but ultimately she'll have to figure out the "growing up" thing on her.

If you would like a sneak peek at the new series, you can go to Logo's website and watch a few clips. And although I personally wasn’t that impressed by what I saw, or the fact that there is little cultural diversity in the characters(yes, they are all Caucasian), I am hoping the series has something more to offer, we shall see.

The Series premiere of Exes and Oh's is Monday, Oct 8th at 10:00 pm EST. And hey, if you do get a chance to watch it, let me what you think, I would love to hear your opinion.

Monday, October 1, 2007

A Call for Dating Stories

Embarrassing, romantic, disastrous or humorous...we've all had our share of dating experiences. Whether you met online, a blind date, or bumped into her at a club, we all have a story to tell. So why not gather them all together and post them on a blog?

So if you have a little something you would like to share (good, bad or otherwise), just email me. And don't worry, if you would like to keep your story anonymous, just let me know and I will leave your name out.

I look forward to hearing from all of you!

Monday, September 24, 2007

So Where Do You Go to Meet Other Single Lesbians?

Being a thirty-something, single lesbian in a heterosexual, male-dominated world, doesn’t exactly make for easy dating. Just trying to figure out where to meet other single lesbians can be a difficult task. So…based on my own dating experiences, and a little internet research (my favorite pass time), I came up with a list of the best places, in my opinion, to meet other single lesbians.

These are not in any particular order:

Sporting Events/Activities: Well as cliché as it might sound, one of the best places to meet other lesbians is at a women’s softball, soccer or football game. Whether you’re interested in actually joining a team, or you choose to just hangout in the stands, you’re bound to run into a handful (if not more) of single lesbians. If you’re not much of a team sports fan, try joining a women’s hiking, biking or camping group, there is bound to be a few lesbians in the bunch.

Local Lesbian Clubs and Organizations: I know this may sound obvious, but sometimes we tend to forget about our local GLBT resources, which exist in almost every major city in the US. In fact, there is actually a GLBT National Help Center, with over 15,000 resources to help you find the different community centers, social groups, gay newspapers, etc. in your area.

Religious/Spiritual Center:If your spiritual beliefs are an important part of your life, then it makes sense to try and meet other women through your church, temple or spiritual center. The Metropolitan Community Churches, Science of Mind Churches, United Church of Christ and Unitarian Churches, are known to be welcoming of gays and lesbians. You can find listings of gay-friendly churches through the GLBT National Help Center or

Lesbian Bar: In most cities you can find some sort of lesbian bar within a 60-mile radius. And being that lesbian bars tend to have lesbians in them, this can be another way to meet single woman. If your not into the “bar” scene, try going on an off night, and you may find the atmosphere a bit more laid back, which can make it a bit more conducive to actually having a conversation with someone.

Friends: our friends and acquaintances can be a great resource for meeting other single lesbians. Even if they are in a relationship, let them know that you are looking to meet new people. You never know who they might introduce you to, and you may find yourself among a whole new circle of people.

The Internet: Last, but not least, the Internet can be a great way to meet other lesbians. Online dating sites such as and, can offer you some anonymity while you search for your perfect date. And although there is often a charge associated with most online dating sites, it is usually worth it. These sites can give you access to a variety of women whom you might never have met otherwise. Other Internet resources for dating include social networking sites like Myspace and Friendster.

No matter what avenue you choose, and you may end up trying quite a few, just don’t give up. With a little effort, and a lot of patience, you will eventually find Ms right, or at least Ms right now.


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