The 2014 Russian River Weekend Coming

The 34th Annual Russian River weekend will be the week of May 15 - May 19th, 2014  and will be held in beautiful downtown Guerneville, California.

Russian River Women’s Weekend Tentative Schedule
May 15 – 19, 2014

VIP Pass Pick-up Location = *

 Weekend Long Activities:

• Thursday – Sunday Weekend of the ELEMENTS Guerneville
•  Saturday – Sunday Massage for the Health of It r3 Hotel Courtyard

Thursday:

• 6:00 – 9:00   Welcome Party and VIP Passes available McT’s BullPen *
• 6:00 – 10:00   ELEMENT: FIRE ~ Firewalk of Transformation Camp Outback
• 8:00 – Close   Country Dan’s Lesbytarian Karaoke McT’s BullPen *
• 9:00 – 12:00   Hey Gurl Hey r3 Hotel

Friday:

• 11:00-6:00    VIP Pass Pick-up Center for Sacred Studies*
• 12:00 – 5:00 Let’s get this Party Started Pool Party r3 Hotel ($5.00 or free with VIP Pass)
• 6:00 – 8:00   RAGS - River Area Gals Society (rivergals.com) Rainbow Cattle Company *
• 7:00 – 9:00   Spiritual Seminar Center for Sacred Studies Ladamira – Siberian Shamanaka from Russia (No VIP Pass) $25
• 8:00 – 12:00  Country Dan’s Lesbytarian Karaoke r3 Hotel
• 8:00 – 12:00  3rd Annual DRAGSTRAVAGANZA Buck’s River Mill Theater * ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
• 8:00 – 1:00 Dance Party w/dj Lady Char River Theater ($10 or Free with VIP Pass)

Saturday:

• 10:00 – 2:00 Spiritual Seminar with Ladamira Center for Sacred Studies (No VIP Pass) $90 one day/$150 both
• 10:00 – 12:00 ELEMENT: AIR ~ Chanting and Mantras Center for Sacred Studies
• ELEMENT: EARTH ~ Walk in Armstrong Woods meet at Center for Sacred Studies With Ladamira
• 11:00 – 6:00 VIP Pass Pick-up Center for Sacred Studies*
• 12:00 – 6:00 ELEMENT: WATER ~ Pool Party R3 Hotel With DJ LadyRyan
• Water Blessing HIGH NOON
• Commitment/Marriage Ceremony ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
• 2:00 – 5:00 Wet “tease” T-shirt Contest R3 Hotel ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
• 8:00 – 12:00 Teresa Raef, Darcie Rickert and Velvetta! Buck’s River Mill Theater * ($10 or Free with VIP Pass)
• 9:00 – Close Poo Poo Head Burlesque Show and Dance Party River Theater * With DJ LadyChar Show starts 10:30 ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)

The “More Bang for Your Buck” Show Special:
$15 for both shows on either Friday OR Saturday Nights

•  Friday: 3rd Annual DRAGSTRAVAGANZA & Dance Party
• Saturday: Live Music & Poo Poo Head Burlesque/Dance Party

Sunday:

• 10:00 – 2:00 Spiritual Seminar with Ladamira Center for Sacred Studies (No VIP Pass) $90 one day/$150 both
• 11:00 – 5:00 Brunch and Live Music Buck’s River Mill Theater * ($10, NO VIP Pass –Brunch not included)
• 12:00 – 4:00 Liquid Church Pool Party with DJ LadyRyan r3 Hotel * ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
• 1:00 – 4:00 “Eat my Pie” Contest r3 Hotel * “Painted Lady” Tattoo Contest RAFFLE to be held at 2:00 p.m. ($10 or Free With VIP Pass)
• 1:00 – 5:30 Sweat Wildwood Retreat Center (No VIP Pass)
• 3:00 Rendezvous with Cool Beans River Mill Dinner Theater ($10, NO VIP Pass)
• 3:00 ELEMENT: WATER~ Special Blessing with Ladamira Center for Sacred Studies
• 7:00 – 10:00 The Afterglow Main Street Station with "Wild Jane, Miss Maple, & The Bass Babe"
• 8:00 - Close Country Dan’s Lesbitarian Karaoke r3 Hotel

Monday:
10:00 – 5:00 Leftover’s Lounge r3 Hotel

For more information, please visit: russianriverwomensweekend.org.

Baskin Robbin's 31 Cent Scoop Night

So what does Baskin-Robbins' 31 Cent Scoop Night have to do with lesbians? Well, come on, how many lesbians do you know who don't love ice cream? None, right...exactly my point!

Here are the details:

On Wednesday, April 29th, from 5 – 10 p.m., Baskin Robbins will be celebrating their annual 31 cent Scoop Night in honor of firefighting heroes across the nation. Each person can get up to 3 scoops of 2.5 oz of ice cream or 3 oz of Soft Serve, so gather your friends and family and head out for a yummy treat!

And what a great excuse to ask that cute girl at the coffee house out on a date, I mean who is going to say no to ice cream and helping to raise money for firefighters?

For more information you can visit their website at www.baskinrobbins.com or click here to find a Baskin Robbins near you.

Sappho's Guide to Dangerous Women

I found this lesbian guide online today and thought I would share it, I hope you find it as entertaining as I did...

Much has been written about heterosexual dating, and how to avoid opposite-sex partners who would be wrong for you. No one seems to have done this service for women who love women. It must be admitted that not all women, even lesbians are perfect. Although responsible, loving lesbians can be found anywhere, the following list of eight less-than-perfect types is offered in the hope of helping lesbians avoid unnecessary disasters.

The Prima Donna, or Queen Bee
This type is easy to spot. She appears in her strapless gown amid the denim jackets of the local lesbian hangout, expecting someone to take her coat (mink, paid for by her last lover) & fetch her a drink. The lady does not like to be kept waiting.

The Prima Donna is usually gorgeous, otherwise her tactics would not work. She may be a true lesbian, contrary to speculation, but is often bisexual or ever straight. Her sexuality is not of major importance, because what she wants is power, not sex or emotional involvement. She will use her helplessness as a divide to get things done for her, but she is a survivor who can be surprisingly tough. She is rarely grateful to the generous, love struck dyke who supports her/pays for her divorce/protects her from men & other women/drives her to the shopping mall/listens to her complaints. The best way to discourage this tendency is to look the offender in the eye (if necessary, use a mirror), and say something like, "Do it yourself"

The Cool Butch
This is the Lesbian Nations answer to the Fonz, and she expects to be treated accordingly. When she wants you, she'll whistle. More often, she waits to be approached by someone who finds her aloofness challenging.

In some cases, Ms Cool is married to her career, in some cases she likes one night stands or multiple (shallow) relationships, and in most cases she points out that she never promised you anything. When she tires of the game (hers not yours) she calmly walks away, wiping your tears off her shirt.

Underneath the calm exterior, this woman is terrified of commitment & self-revelation. The Cool Butch knows that others will read into her slightly sarcastic expression whatever they like, and she does not want to spoil the illusion. The best way to start melting her cool is to ask questions & demand answers. (if necessary carry on this dialog in your head). If you drive this woman away you have diverted an Ice Age in your life.

The Hot Butch
She is aggressive, possessive, touchy, unpredictable & unfair. She can be charming or funny in a good mood but the wrong word can change her into a snarling tigress. She has probably been thrown out of the local lesbian hangout at least once for socking someone in the jaw, though she insists this was not her fault (she was provoked). She has no tolerance for criticism & no understanding of other people's moods. If a negative remark does not arouse her wrath, it makes her cry. If she falls in love with you (and when she falls, she falls) expect candlelit suppers presents that put her in debt & demands for reassurance that you will also love her forever. This phase lasts up to two weeks, or until your first big fight.

The Hot Butch is an overgrown child who wants attention & power, so walk away from her scenes-if you can pry her hands off your collar (Don't hesitate to ask the bouncer for help). When you are the one seething with sudden, intense feeling, whether love-at-first-sight or righteous rage, take a deep breath, a little common sense can prevent a lot of regret later on.

The Celebrity
You are likely to encounter this personage when your friends whisper "that's her," pointing to the most noticeable woman at the party or bar. She wears shades for anonymity, but is surrounded by fans. She is the only local lesbian musician who has national exposure, or she has written a novel ( about people she knows, thinly disguised) has had a one woman show at the local art gallery. Or she expects success in the near future but hasn't been published, exhibited, discovers yet.

Whether or not the Celebrity is really on her way to the top, expect to take 2nd or 3rd place in her life. Her work & ego come first. In some cases, she likes to buy status symbols now in the hope of paying for them later. (She will usually let you help her with this.)

If you become her mate, you will take care of all the domestic details she is too busy for, and worship her most of the time, especially in public. What she really wants is a combination wife & manager. If you object, she will point out that you can be replaced.

Not all famous lesbians are or have been "Celebrity" types. If you meet the woman, described above, resist the urge to throw yourself at her feet; she might not be as talented as she wants you to think. Remember that every woman has her own dream, and you don't have to sacrifice yours for hers.

The Tramp
You might not recognize this woman until too late. In time, you discover she had a troubled youth. She was adopted, unwanted or naturally rebellious, and her folks were straight laced. She came out, ran away, dropped out of school, became addicted to uppers/downers/heroin/glue/alcohol/junk food & fell into bad company (not necessarily in that order). She is a walking grade B movie & her theme song is "I'm just looking for love"

If she gets sympathy from you, you'll hear more true confessions: She gave her baby for adoption, her parents/pimp/lover used to beat her, she has a jail record, even though she was frames, or she only committed the crime to support herself or her habit or to help a friend or for justified revenge (see Hot Butch).

The tramp feels persecuted & misunderstood. She needs your support, emotional & financial. She claims you can help her sober up, go back to school, get a job & earn the respect of people who did all those things without help. A Tramp will not move unless pushed, especially if she has lucked into your support. She will wear out your sympathy, your bank account & your reputation before she will make a serious effort to change her life.

Hard as it is, the only way to save yourself from a Tramp is to be ruthless. Threaten to call the police if she doesn't leave you alone. (They know her well). Ignore her threats & don't deal with her friends.

If you're a Tramp, you need services no other woman can provide. You must decide who controls your life (You). Once you know what you want, go to the appropriate institution or social services agency, state your case, find out what you have to do, and do it. Only when you are on your way to where you want to be (you are not obligated to go straight) will you be able to form a mutual relationship with another adult.
The Politically Correct Lesbian Feminist
She is impressive, well-read, intelligent, politically committed & of sound conscience. ... What could be wrong?... You could.

Ms Politically Correct asks why she didn't see you at the latest demonstration for women's rights & will not except you explanation (your mother was dying) as an adequate excuse. She does not drink, smoke or eat meat & disapproves of people who do. She strongly disapproves of males, including your brother or your son. Whatever you wear is too feminine or too male identified for her taste, is made of cancer causing synthetic fibres produced in a Third World country by oppressed workers. You get the message.

Of course not all lesbian feminists fit this description, but a little raised consciousness can be a dangerous thing if it makes a woman feel superior to her sisters. Check yourself periodically for intolerance. If another lesbian feminist tries to revise your lifestyle, stop her as firmly as you would stop a non-feminist ( or a non-lesbian non-woman)

The Tease
She points out that she only wants your friendship, then gives you a sisterly kiss on the lips ... for ten minutes. She tells you she hopes you'll find the right woman soon, then describes they type of woman she wants to spend the rest of her life with - who sounds remarkably like you.

Unfortunately, teasing is one of the standard Games Lesbian Play because turning someone on & keeping her off-guard are both power trips. If single, the tease likes to keep several potential lovers dangling until she makes up her mind, which might never happen. If she is involved with someone, she wants to keep you on hand as an insurance policy in case her primary relationship falls through.

Your only hope is to make up your own mind. If you want a sexual relationship with her, phrase your request as an ultimatum. If you lose her altogether as a result, at least you won't be teased anymore. If you decide she is too unstable to make a trustworthy mate, refuse to waltz to her tune. If you are the Tease; make up your mind & make yourself clear to whom it may concern.

The Haunted Woman
This woman can't see you clearly because she is still gazing into her unforgettable past. The Haunted Woman is recovering from her last affair, or yearning for a fantasy figure who was never available to her, because fantasies are easier to control than reality. Expect to hear all about the love of her life. You will probably be addressed by several names, none of them yours. Either the memorable girlfriend was a saint among dykes (You'll be found lacking) or as a fiend who ruined the Haunted Woman's life, in which case she will take out the pain on you, treating you as she was treated (or believed she was treated which is worse). When you meet a woman who can't stop talking about a past relationship, try to change the subject & let her know your real name. If all ease fails, leave her before she becomes a regrettable item in your past.

If you are a Haunted Woman, stop watching reruns & hoping for impossible comebacks. You can never forget the past, but remember that a lifetime of possibilities lies ahead of you.

In general, insist on honesty in yourself & the women you meet will weed out the games players described above. Abusive games are based on fear, so an open, courageous approach to life is the antidote to abuse. If life's journey has brought you to the Lesbian Nation, you have already come to far to retreat into the no-win roles traditionally offered to women, and so have all your sisters.

From the Guide to Gracious Lesbian Living, Lilith Publications Inc.

A Double Shot of Bi-Sexual Reality?

After two seasons of Tila Tequila’s “A Shot at Love,” I really thought reality TV couldn't get much worse, but I was wrong. Meet the Ikki Twins, they are identical, bisexual, models who are starring in MTV’s newest reality show, “A Double Shot of Love.”

Erica and Victoria Mongeon are models/calendar girls who are know to those in the soft-porn industry as Rikki and Vikki, hence the name "Ikki twins." These former Hooters' waitresses got their first break modeling for Bench Warmer Cards, which then led them to doing magazine covers such as Import Tuner and Fast & Sexy. They have also posed for Playboy, but then again these days, who hasn't?

In this spin-off Tila Tiquila's "A Shot at Love", both men and women will vie for each twin's affections.

"When the men and women arrive, they are pleasantly surprised to find that the women they are fighting for are actually gorgeous twin sisters all living under one roof," MTV said in the statement release to Usmagazine.com. "The 12 straight men and 12 lesbians are narrowed down each week in a dramatic elimination ceremony."

The show premiered on Tuesday, Dec 9th and will run for a total of 8 weeks. If you feel the need to find out more about this high-class show (said with much sarcasm), or to meet the 24 cast members/victims, you can click here to check out their website.

Lesbian kiss at Seattle ballpark stirs up gay-friendly town

The Associated Press
Thu, Jun 5, 2008

Most of the time, a kiss is just a kiss in the stands at Seattle Mariners games. The crowd hardly even pays attention when fans smooch.

But then last week, a lesbian complained that an usher at Safeco Field asked her to stop kissing her date because it was making another fan uncomfortable.

The incident has exploded on local TV, on talk radio and in the blogosphere and has touched off a debate over public displays of affection in generally gay-friendly Seattle.

"Certain individuals have not yet caught up. Those people see a gay or lesbian couple and they stare or say something," said Josh Friedes of Equal Rights Washington. "This is one of the challenges of being gay. Everyday things can become sources of trauma."

As the Mariners played the Boston Red Sox on May 26, Sirbrina Guerrero and her date were approached in the third inning by an usher who told them their kissing was inappropriate, Guerrero said.

The usher, Guerrero said, told them he had received a complaint from a woman nearby who said that there were kids in the crowd of nearly 36,000 and that parents would have to explain why two women were kissing.

"I was really just shocked," Guerrero said. "Seattle is so gay-friendly. There was a couple like seven rows ahead making out. We were just showing affection."

On Monday, Mariners spokeswoman Rebecca Hale said that the club is investigating but that the usher was responding to a complaint of two women "making out" and "groping" in the stands.
"We have a strict non-discrimination policy at the Seattle Mariners and at Safeco Field, and when we do enforce the code of conduct it is based on behavior, not on the identity of those involved," Hale said.

The code of conduct _ announced before each game _ specifically mentions public displays of affection that are "not appropriate in a public, family setting." Hale said those standards are based on what a "reasonable person" would find inappropriate.

Guerrero denied she and her date were groping each other, saying that along with eating garlic fries, they were giving each other brief kisses.

On Tuesday, Guerrero said a Mariners director of guest services had apologized to her. The team spokeswoman could not immediately confirm that.

After the story broke, the Mariners were blasted by the sex-advice columnist Dan Savage, who wrote about the incident on the blog of the Stranger, an alternative weekly paper.
"I constantly see people making out," Savage said. "My son has noticed and asked, `Do they show the ballgame on women's foreheads?'"

Savage called for a "kiss-in" to protest against the Mariners.

Web sites have been swamped with blog postings for and against Guerrero and her date. And the story has people talking in Seattle.

"I would be uncomfortable" seeing public displays of affection between lesbians or gay men, said Jim Ridneour, a 54-year-old taxi driver. "I don't think it's right seeing women kissing in public. If I had my family there, I'd have to explain what's going on."

"It all depends on the degree," Mark Ackerman said as he waited for a hot dog outside Safeco Field before Wednesday's game. "Even for heterosexual couples."

Since the incident, Guerrero's job and her past have come under scrutiny. She works at a bar known for scantily clad women and was a contestant on the MTV reality show "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila," in which women and men compete for the affection of a bisexual Internet celebrity.

"People are saying it's 15 more minutes for my career," Guerrero said of the ballpark furor, "but this is not making me look very good."

In 2007, an Oregon transit agency chief apologized after a lesbian teenager was kicked off a bus when a passenger complained about her kissing another girl.

Also in 2007, a gay rights group protested a Kansas City, Mo., restaurant they said ejected four women because two of them kissed, and a Texas state trooper was placed on probation in 2004 for telling two gay men who were kissing at the state Capitol that homosexual conduct was illegal in Texas.

"There's a double standard. That's the bottom line," said Pat Griffin, director of the It Takes a Team! Education Campaign, an initiative from the Women's Sports Foundation to eliminate homophobia in sports.

Jane's World & Girlyman, An Amazing Event!!!

For those of you who were unable to attend Paige Braddock’s Jane’s World Volume 8 release party, I thought I would give a little recap of the evening, and throw in some pictures as well.

The party was held at the Charles Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa and the approximately 200+ guests, most of whom were lesbians, just happened to be the biggest group the museum has ever had at one time for an event. The evening started around 7:00pm with lots of mingling, nibbling of munchies, and sipping of wine. At about 7:30, everyone headed into the theatre for Paige’s talk. Since there were so many attendees, the museum set up a second room upstairs with a live simulcast of the talk, so no one missed a thing.

Stephen Pastis, the guy that plays "Shallow Breast Guy" in Paige’s Books and author of Pearls before swine, opened the evening with a comedic and witty introduction of Paige. Stephen, a coworker and friend of Paige’s, repeatedly made mention, or maybe I should say warning, that anything you say or do around Paige is fair game for her to use in her books. In fact, I belive his exact words were “... underhanded, shameless little line-stealing profiteer squirl, ” but of course it was said with love. And you have to give the guy some credit, I mean it takes balls to stand on stage in front of a large group of people (mostly lesbians) wearing a shirt that reads “Shallow Breast Guy,” which, by the way, is going to be signed by both Stephan and Paige and auctioned off to a local charity on eBay later this week.

Following Stephan onto the stage was Paige Braddock, still wiping away the tears and laughing from her "roast," which she obviously found quite entertaining. Once she pulled herself together, she spent about 15-20 minutes taking about her new book, reading a few excerpts, and showing a slide show of images from her book. The audience roared with laughter throughout the talk, and eagerly followed her outside the theatre afterwards to get their Jane’s World books signed.

Around 8:30, Girlyman, one of Paige’s favorite bands, started their one hour music set. The band, which could be described as a cross between folk, pop & bluegrass, is made up of 2 girls (Doris & Ty) and 1 guy (Nate), all of whom are not only incredible musicians, but also have a great connection with each other and the audience.

After the show I was able to gather together Paige and the band to take couple of pictures. All in all, I would have to say the party was a great success.

One last note, I would like to send out a huge THANK YOU to Jeannie Schulz for allowing Paige to have this event at the museum, as well as all the volunteer’s (Jackie , Jessica, Becci, Renee, Paul, Mark, Devon, Gretchen, Tamara, Jane, Kitty, Stephanie and gina) who not only helped plan this event, but also took care of the set-up, clean-up and general smoothness of the entire evening, they were amazing.

Monogamy, Nonmonogamy, Polyamory: What’s the Big Deal?

by Felice Newman, Somatic Coach and Sex Educator.

News flash: Not all lesbians are monogamous. Monogamy isn’t necessarily the hallmark of a mature, committed relationship. Contrary to what you might see on The L Word, it’s not even the cure for Lesbian Drama.

Likewise, monogamy won’t necessarily send you down the lonely path to Lesbian Bed Death, and nonmonogamy won’t necessarily supercharge your libido. Declaring polyamory doesn’t guarantee a stream of hotties through your bedroom.

Monogamy isn’t a foolproof safer-sex strategy. Some STDs can lie dormant for months or even years after exposure, which may be longer than your previous relationship. You could easily transmit an STD you didn’t know you had. And, of course, many women have sex outside of their relationships without telling their partners.

Monogamy vs. nonmonogamy (or polyamory, which is having more than one sexual relationship at a time) is a construct—that is, something we have created. As with other polarities (children vs. no children, city vs. country), it oversimplifies our real needs and goes nowhere toward creating mutual satisfaction.

Be specific about what these words mean to you. What is it about monogamy that you require? Is it security and commitment? Do you need exclusivity in order to risk intimacy? Monogamy is not a remedy for jealousy, nor is it insurance against loss.

If monogamy is your goal, how do you define it? Is it monogamy if you have sex with only one partner in real time, but have online play partners? Or flirt in chatrooms? Does an occasional romp at a play party count? What about a lap dance at a charity strip show? Or when you’re out of town on business? And is this arrangement explicit—something you’ve discussed with your partner—or something you think she knows but doesn’t want to know? Does your relationship leave room for you to fantasize freely, even when your partner is not in the starring role—or do you rein in your imagination? How much head space does your relationship allow you?

Do you masturbate regularly? Does it feel like cheating if you steal a quick wank while your girlfriend’s in the shower? I think masturbation is a fundamental health practice - like eating your green vegetables, only way more fun. If you don’t feel free to give yourself sexual pleasure without hiding the fact, what else do you forgo in the name of loyalty? When was the last time you watched a sexy DVD all by yourself? Read a dirty book? Enjoyed an innocent flirtation at the grocery store?

If you prefer nonmonogamy or polyamory, what about them is important to you? Is it the idea of sexual freedom—or the practice of it? Nonmonogamy is not a guarantee of sexual satisfaction, nor does it prevent loss of sexual interest. Do you need to know that you can act on the erotic sparks that fuel your days? Do you need more sex than your partner? Do you want to have sexual relationships, or is it sexual variety and adventure that appeal to you? Would a birthday visit from a stripper offering more than a show satisfy your itch? A recreational play date?

What mutually satisfying possibilities might you imagine together? Would either of you feel differently if extramarital forays were negotiated and staged to involve both of you? While the idea of having sex with someone other than your lover may leave you cold, might you participate as co-conspirator and witness? What about spinning fantastic tales of made-up sexual adventure while you have sex? Would attending a sex party as voyeurs (and having sex afterward) satisfy your need for outside sexual stimulation?

As one woman said to me, “Both of us enjoy our freedom of sexual expression, and face it—playing with a woman that you will never have to see again is really fun.” Amen.

Remembering Lawrence King

15-year-old student, Lawrence King,  was shot and killed at school last week. Friends say the reason was his sexual orientation and gender expression.

If you haven't yet heard about this incident, here are some of the the details:

Lawrence King, an eighth grader who identified as gay and wore makeup and nail polish, was 15 when he was declared brain dead. On February 12th, Lawrence King was shot in the head in front of a classroom full of student at E.O. Green Junior High School in Oxnard, CA. Police have charged Brandon McInerney, 14, with first-degree murder and with a hate crime. According to the Los Angeles Times and KTLA, McInerney and some other boys accosted King about his sexuality on Feb. 11. Students apparently often taunted King, who didn't even have a safe home to return to after school: he was living in a shelter for abused and troubled children.

Vigils in memory of Lawrence King, calling for an end to violence and harassment directed at lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in schools, are being organized in communities across the country this week. Check below to find a vigil in your area, or fill out the form to list a remembrance event in your community. This page was created to support the efforts of organizations and individuals nationwide. The more events we organize, the louder our collective voice. Please help make sure that what happened to Lawrence never happens again.

To join others online:
MySpace: www.myspace.com/rememberinglawrence

To join others in person:

California
Lawrence King Remembrance Vigil
San Francisco, California
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Sign-making at 5 pm, Vigil begins at 6 pm
Location: Lobby of the SF LGBT Center
1800 Market at Octavia
Co-Sponsored By: CUAV, GSA Network, LYRIC, SF LGBT Center, Transgender Law Center

Remembering Lawrence Candle Light Vigil
Ukiah, California
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
5:15 PM
Location: State and Perkins Streets
Ukiah, Ca
Co-Sponsored By: GSA, PFLAG, MEUSA, PAN, United For Safe Schools, GLAM

Remembering Lawrence Candle Light Vigil
Willits, California
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
5:30 PM
Location: Parking lot next to 38 S. Main St
Willits, CA
Co-Sponsored By: GSA, PFLAG, Marriage Equality USA, Pride Alliance Network, GLAM and United for Safe Schools

Candlelight Vigil
Fresno, California
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
7 pm
Location: Corner of Shaw & Blackstone
Co-Sponsored By: GSA Network, Community Link, Fresno City College Diversity Club
Questions: 559-268-2780

Sacramento Vigil
Sacramento, California
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
5:30 PM
Location: Sacramento Gay and Lesbian Center
Co-Sponsored By: GSA Network, Sac Stonewall, Senator Darrell Steinberg, Sac BOE Member Gretchen Bender, CAPPAC, Respect Sacramento, Mariko Yamada Yolo County BOS
Candlelight Vigil Remembering Lawrence King
West Hollywood/Los Angeles, California
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
gather in the park at 7:00 p.m.
Location: West Hollywood Park
647 N San Vicente Blvd.
Co-Sponsored By: GSA Network, Transgender Law Center, Equality California, City of West 

Hollywood 

Public Memorial Service
Port Hueneme, California
Friday, February 22, 2008
3 pm
Location: Westminster Presbyterian Church of Hueneme
755 Bard Road
Co-Sponsored By: The King Family
Questions: www.rememberlarry.com

Talk With Your Kids About Guns dedicated to memory of Lawrence King
Aliso Viejo, California
Thursday, February 28, 2008
7 p.m. Admission is free
Location: Aliso Viejo Public Library
Co-Sponsored By: National Council of Jewish Women - Orange County, GLSEN Orange County, Women Against Gun Violence

Florida
Gay American Heroes Foundation
Miami Beach, Florida
Friday, February 29, 2008
7:30 - 10:00 pm
Location: Miami Beach Botanical Gardens (next to Lincoln Road)
2000 Convention Center Drive, Miami Beach
Co-Sponsored By: Gay American Heroes Foundation; Freedom Democrats; National Gay and Lesbian Task Fore; Stonewall Library and Archives; Safe Schools South Florida
Questions: www.gayamericanheroes.com gayamericanheroes@yahoo.com 321-506-8738
Illinois

Straight and Gay Alliance
Chicago, Illinois
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
2 p.m. Room A207
Location: Wilbur Wright College
Montrose and Naragansett
Co-Sponsored By: Michael Christopher Oboza
Questions: coextra@hotmail.com

Massachusetts
The L.King Memorial
Weston, Massachusetts
Friday, February 22, 2008
10:30
Location: The Rivers School
333 winter street
Co-Sponsored By: The Rivers School GSA
Questions: b.laukien@rivers.org, or v.pacheo@rivers.org

Missouri
Raytown High GLBSA Lawrence Vigil
Ratown , Missouri
Thursday, February 21, 2008
2:30-3:3
Location: Raytow High School Room 224
Co-Sponsored By: Royal Daily Raytown High School
Questions: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Raytown0High0GLBSC/ Raytown0High0GLBSC@yahoo.com 916-358-0907

Kansas City Vigil in Remembrance of Lawrence King
Kansas City, Missouri
Friday, February 22, 2008
7:00 PM
Location: Broadway Church
39th Terrace & Broadway
Co-Sponsored By: Broadway Church, Campfire, EQuAL, GLSEN-Greater Kansas City, Harmony, Kansas Equality Coalition, PFLAG-Kansas City, PROMO, Scouting for All,
Questions: http://www.glsen.org/kansascity kansascity@chapters.glsen.org 816-237-6686
North Carolina

Lawrence King Memorial Speak Out
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Friday, February 22, 2008
3:00pm
Location: UNC Chapel Hill Pit in front of Graham Student Union
South Rd.
Co-Sponsored By: UNC Chapel Hill LGBTQ Center

New Jersey
Jersey City Vigil
Jersey City, New Jersey
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
7 pm
Location: 34 Wayne Street
Outside of Star Bar

New York
Remember Lawrence King
Albany, New York
Friday, February 22, 2008
All Day
Location: 140 Academy Road Albany NY
12208
Co-Sponsored By: The Albany Academies
Questions: tobinc@albanyacademyforgirls.org

Super Bowl for the Clueless - Outsports' annual guide to the big game

Although I am not much of a football fan, I have to admit, there is something about the way a woman talks about the Super Bowl game that can get me a bit excited...or maybe it's just the woman that gets me excited...hmmm…either way, it's a big party day for most lesbians and having a little knowledge about the game is always a bonus. Knowing that I cannot be the only football challenged lesbian (is that the politically correct term?), I found this helpful Super Bowl Guide and thought it was quite appropriate for this Sunday.

Super Bowl for the Clueless
By Jim Buzinski
Outsports.com

The Super Bowl is again upon us, and like death and taxes there is no escaping it. The teams were off last week and we still heard about Tom Brady and his model girlfriend in addition to a lineman who used to castrate lambs with his teeth. Mercifully, the game is almost here.

Since some of you reading this barely know who is playing, Outsports offers as a public service our annual Super Bowl for the Clueless.

WHAT: Super Bowl 42 (I am lousy with Roman numerals, so will ignore the NFL’s designation of SB XLII). The New England Patriots represent the American Football Conference and the New York Giants the National Football Conference. The game will be played Sunday with a 6:30 p.m. EST kickoff from Glendale, Ariz. Fox will broadcast the game.

The Patriots (18-0) are seeking to become the first NFL team to finish 19-0 and join the 1972 Miami Dolphins as the only unbeaten teams. The Giants (13-6) have taken the hard road, becoming only the third team in history to win three consecutive road playoff games to reach the Super Bowl.

New England is a big favorite, with the Las Vegas pointspread favoring them by 12 points. They are the biggest favorite since the 2001 Patriots were 14-point underdogs to St. Louis (New England won that game in a huge upset, something that gives Giants fans hope).

WHERE: The game will be played in Glendale, Ariz., in suburban Phoenix at the University of Phoenix Stadium. There is no University of Phoenix team, but the school, which has a heavy online presence, paid $154 million for 20 years to the naming rights to the stadium. The stadium architect, Peter Eisenman, is a New York Giants fan, so he is assured great seats to the game.

The area is not used to seeing quality professional football, being home to the mediocre Arizona Cardinals, a franchise that has won one playoff game since 1948, being based in Chicago, then St. Louis and since 1988 Arizona.

FASHION NOTE: The Giants, the designated road team, will wear their white jerseys with light gray pants and maroon numbers. The Patriots will wear their home dark blue jerseys with light silver numbers.

THE CITIES: New York vs. Boston. Arrogant know-it-all fans vs. arrogant know-it-all fans; insufferable to those of us outside the Northeast corridor. Think Yankees vs. Red Sox in baseball and you get the idea of the fan base in each city. The downside? One city will get to throw a victory parade. The upside? One city won’t.

THE TEAMS, GOSSIP EDITION: The Patriots are chasing history, and trying to outrun the shame of being caught cheating in their opening day game against the Jets for illegally videotaping New York’s defensive signals. The team was fined $500,000 and stripped of a draft pick. In response, the New York Post has run an * all season besides their record in the standings.

In addition, safety Rodney Harrison – voted by his peers the dirtiest player in the league – was suspended four games for using human growth hormone. Nose tackle Vince Woolfork has been fined four times this season for dirty play, including when he poked Giants running back Brandon Jacobs in the eye during their regular season game, ala Moe of the Three Stooges.

The Pats are led by star quarterback Tom Brady, who fathered a child out of wedlock (with actress Bridget Moynahan) and now goes out with supermodel Giselle Bundchen, who dated Leonard Di Caprio for six years. Brady lives in Boston but makes the New York gossip sheets more than almost any full-time resident for his frequent forays into the city. He’s even had to deal with the nastiest rumor of all – that he is losing his hair and seeing a hair-plug specialist. Oh, the horror!

On the plus side, Brady is a fashion-plate, consistently one of the great heartthrobs for gay men and considering being a Calvin Klein model. On the field, his play is impeccable, having set a record with 50 touchdown passes this season.

Even their coach, Bill Belichick, has a colorful off-field life. A New Jersey construction worked accused Belichick of being the “other man” in a divorce proceeding against his wife, a New York Giants receptionist (Belichick was an assistant coach for the Giants until 1991). The coach has paid the women more than $150,000 in cash and gifts, including a summer rental on the Jersey shore. She has denied the accusation but is said to be attending the Super Bowl.

On the field, Belichick is brilliant, secretive, arrogant and paranoid – think Richard Nixon in a hoodie. No coach prepares his team better and is able to compartmentalize distractions.

Patriots owner Bob Kraft, meanwhile, made news in 2005 while on a visit to Russia. There he showed Russian President Vladimir V. Putin his “4.94-carat, diamond-encrusted 2005 Super Bowl ring” … which Putin promptly pocketed. This reminds me of a Russian historian, who when asked to sum up his countrymen’s national character, replied: “They steal.”

The Giants, despite being from New York, are kind of boring by comparison. Quarterback Eli Manning, of the Manning quarterback dynasty, is still going out with his college sweetheart and doesn’t give Page Six much to write about. Lineman Grey Ruegamer did give a colorful interview about his days castrating lambs, but no one outside his immediate family and lambs everywhere had ever heard of Ruegamer before this week.

The Giants do have a gay connection. Tight end Jeremy Shockey twice was slammed for uttering anti-gay comments (including calling a rival coach a “homo”), but he suffered a season-ending injury in December and has not been heard from since; karma’s a bitch.

Defensive lineman Michael Strahan, in the middle of a nasty divorce last year, denied charges by his estranged wife that he is gay. Strahan, though, is very gay-friendly, and has done work for the Men’s Health Crisis, a New York anti-AIDS group. “I have plenty of friends that are bi or homosexual,” he said. “It's fine with me. This is New York City. If you can't accept people for being people, then you have no business being here." Strahan is one of the good guys.

THE HALFTIME ENTERTAINMENT: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers! Wow, that will really draw the coveted 18-29 demo. At least the NFL won’t have to worry about Petty exposing his nipple, though my friend Jim Allen hopes he performs some of his songs that have sly drug-related references.

Alicia Keys and ‘American Idol’ winner Jordin Sparks will perform in the pre-game, with Sparks signing the National Anthem. She is the daughter of former New York Giants and Dallas Cowboys cornerback Phillippi Sparks.

COMMERCIALS: Face it, a lot of you will watch only for the commercials, lame as they often are (each 30-second spot sells for $2,7 million; for that money you think they'd come up with more creative spots). We all wonder if there will be controversy like last year, when a Snickers ad was blasted by some for being homophobic.

Lesbian fans will be thrilled to know that Victoria’s Secret will advertise this year. For the guys, Under Armour, the skintight, body-hugging apparel, is making its debut. We can only hope they have recruited some NFL hotties for the ads.

According to AP, Bridgestone Tire has two spots: “One ad features a car accelerating toward Richard Simmons as he dances on a road at night. In the other, a woman screams as the car she's riding in approaches a squirrel nibbling on an acorn.” In addition, several ads done by amateurs will make the cut. If you miss any ads, YouTube will be flooded with them after the game.

THE GAME: After a zillion-hour pregame show and huge buildup, a football game will be played. The Patriots have won three Super Bowls since 2001, each by three points. In addition, these two teams met in the last game of the regular season and the Patriots won a thriller, 38-35. A close game is possible, but I doubt it will happen.

New England’s toughest games, save for their comeback win in a dome at Indianapolis, have all come in cold or bad weather. The conditions in Arizona will be perfect (the stadium has a retractable roof and will be open unless bad weather threatens). A dry, fast track favors a New England offense that set a record for points and touchdowns in a season. Randy Moss, Wes Welker, Laurence Maroney – all these Pats are major offensive playmakers and stopping them all is impossible. The Giants have a gritty defense and terrific pass rush, but their secondary is banged-up and suspect. It’s hard to see them slowing the Patriots down enough to keep it close.
One caveat: The big story all week will be the condition of the right ankle ot Brady. He sprained it in the AFC Championship Gameon Jan. 20 and was seen wearing a protective boot the day after. ESPN said that Brady would not have been able to play had the Super Bowl been played one week later and not two. He insists he is fine and I suspect that's the case. However, if he reinjures himself and has to leave the game early, the edge shifts dramatically to New York. Brady's backup, Matt Casell, can match him in the looks departement but not in football talent.

On defense, teams have shown they can move the ball on New England, but the Pats stiffen when opponents get inside their 20-yard line. In the AFC Championship Game, the San Diego Chargers got inside the Patriots' 10-yard line three times and had to settle for field goals; the Giants will need touchdowns, not field goals, to have a chance.

The Giants feature a solid running game with Brandon Jacobs and rookie Ahmad Bradshaw, a key to keeping their offense on the field and Brady and company on the sideline. In addition, Eli Manning is poised and has not thrown an interception in the playoffs. The Giants will be able to move the ball but I don’t see them finishing a lot with touchdowns.

I expect a close game until halftime, when New England pulls away in the second half and caps a perfect season. Patriots 37, Giants 20.

Research Finds Same-Sex Couples Just as Committed and Possibly Happier than Heterosexual Couples

In a study done by Medical News Today, same-sex couples are just as committed in their romantic relationships as heterosexual couples and may be happier, say researchers who have studied the quality of adult relationships and healthy development. What they found disputes the stereotype that same-sex couples are not as committed as their heterosexual counterparts and are therefore not as psychologically healthy.

These results came from two studies featured in the January issue of Developmental Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association. This issue includes a special section that examines sexual orientation across the lifespan.

The first study examined whether committed same-sex couples differ from engaged and married heterosexual couples in how well they interacted and how satisfied they were with their partners. Evidence has shown that positive interactions improve the quality of relationships in ways that create healthy adult development.

Researchers from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign compared 30 gay male relationships and 30 lesbian couples with 50 engaged heterosexual couples and 40 older married heterosexual couples, as well as with dating heterosexual couples. All the partners responded to a questionnaire that documented how positively they interacted with one another on a day-to-day basis.

Results showed that all had positive views of their relationships but those in the more committed relationships (gay or straight) resolved conflict better than the heterosexual dating couples. And lesbian couples worked together especially harmoniously during the laboratory tasks and especially effective at resolving conflict.

In the second study, researchers from the University of Washington, San Diego State University and the University of Vermont wanted to examine how sexual orientation and legal status affected relationship quality. To do so, they followed 65 male and 138 female same-sex couples with civil unions, 23 male and 61 female same-sex couples not in civil unions and 55 heterosexual married couples over a three-year period. One member of each heterosexual couple was a sibling to a member of a civil union couple.

Partners in all of the couples answered questions regarding their demographics, status of their relationship, number of children, sexual behavior, frequency of contact with their parents with and without their partners and perceived social support. Partners in same-sex relationships also answered questions regarding how “out” they were with family, friends and co-workers.


Despite the legal status of their relationships, the civil union couples showed no differences on any of the relationship measures from the same-sex couples who were in committed relationships but not in civil unions.

However, the same sex-couples who were not in civil unions were more likely to have ended their relationships compared to those couples in same-sex civil unions or heterosexual marriages. Suggesting that the protections afforded by a legalized relationship may impact same-sex relationships, something the study's authors plan to follow up on with more research.

The findings also showed that same-sex couples, regardless of civil union status, were more satisfied with their relationships compared to married heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples reported more positive feelings toward their partners and less conflict than heterosexual married couples. They theorized that there may be societal pressures and norms, as well as the presence of legal status as a couple, which may contribute to heterosexual couples staying together even when they are not happy. Alternatively, many long-term, same-sex couples, stay together by their own will and hard work, since they don't have society's forces on their side.

This was the first study to follow same-sex couples in legalized unions over a period of time. This type of design allows the researchers to monitor changes in the relationships and compare them with changes experienced by both same-sex couples not in civil unions and heterosexual couples. All the couples were comparable with respect to race/ethnicity and age at the time of the study.

Pet Poisons

Okay, so I know your all thinking what do Pet Poisons have to do with Lesbians? Well, it's like this...a friend of mine had recently sent me an email with a warning about how raisins and grapes are toxic to dogs. It made me realize that there may be quite a few people who aren't aware of how many household items and foods are toxic to animals. So, since many of my lesbian friends happen to have pets, I figured that posting a list of these items might be helpful. (Did you all catch that lesbian tie- in?)

Food Toxins
Avocado
Chocolate
Caffeine
Garlic
Grapes
Macadamia Nuts
Moldy Foods
Onions & Onion Powder
Products sweetened with xylitol
Raisins
Salt
Walnuts
Yeast dough

Household Toxins
Alcoholic beverages
Anti Freeze
Cleaners & Detergents
Compost Piles
Fabric Softener Sheets
Ibuprofen
Lighter Fuel
Mothballs
Pool Chemicals
Post-1982 pennies (due to high concentration of zinc)

Garden Toxins
Amaryllis
Azalea
Caladium
Daffodils
English Holly
English Ivy
Foxglove
Honeysuckle
Hydrangea
Iris
Larkspur
Laurel
Lillies
Mistletoe
Mushroom plants
Narcissus
Oleander
Philodendron
Plant Food
Skunk Cabbage
Snail & Slug Bait
Weed killers
Wisteria
Yew

ASPCA Hot line
1-888-426-4435
For a complete list of toxic and poisonous items, visit www.aspca.com.

You know You Are in a Healthy Relationship When...

We all have different ideas about what a "healthy" relationship should be. And although each of us usually have our own personal set of requirements when we start dating someone new, there are also some basic guidelines that can help us figure out if our relationships are, or can be, truly healthy.

I found a couple of different relationship guides that I thought had some great information. And I will probably post them all at some point, but this particular one by Peggy Walton, I decided to share with some friends and co-workers (Lesbian & Straight women), to get their opinions. Most of them agreed that the information was very insightful, however, a couple of them told me it was hard to read...not hard as in "I don't get it," but hard in the sense that it made them look at their own relationships in a way they hadn't, at least not for a long time.

Anyway, whether or not you agree with this guide, I felt it was worth sharing...if nothing else, it will make you question a few things about yourself and your own relationships...and in my world, that is a good thing.


Healthy Relationship Guide#1
by Peggy Walton

• Your partner wants you to realize your dreams and will do anything to help achieve them.



• They are self-sufficient and complete human beings. (If not, then you may find youeself neglecting part of yourself in some way to compensate for their deficiency.)



• They take responsibility for their own happiness. It is not your job.




• They do not use negative tactics for getting their own way or dominating you. Criticism, put-downs, guilt, shame, intolerance, neglect, combativeness, aggression, and threat; the list goes on. Silence can be a negative tactic, if there is communication that needs to take place, and so can defensiveness.



• When they speak to you, it is always with love, acceptance and approval.



• They support and respect your ideas, beliefs and wishes no matter how different from their own.



• Your self-esteem improves when you are together.



• Your circle of friends grows.



• They do little things to please you.



• When something bothers you, they are truly concerned.



• They help resolve problems.



• They help you find time for yourself. Without this you will never grow.



• They share in responsibilities, even with things that are unpleasant or mundane.



• Your time is just as valuable as theirs.



• They give you freedom to try new things, take chances and to make mistakes. Human beings are constantly evolving and are not meant to be caged physically, emotionally or psychologically.



• In short, they provide the security, love and nurturing that is required for you to soar where life itself is wonderful and the relationships are an added bonus. Because you are willing to do the same for them, the relationship will continue to scale new heights while love, honor and respect grows deeper and broader."

Lesbian Break-up Defined, well sorta...

While browsing the Internet, as you all know I often do, I found this entertaining site called Encyclopedia Dramatica. The name alone was enough to get me intrigued, but I also happened to find this fun little article/definition about lesbian break-ups that needed to be shared, so here it is...


Lesbian Break-Up
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A highly ritualised form of warfare which at first appears to be between two lesbian former girlfriends, but which in fact involves all of each woman's family, friends, acquaintances, former girlfriends, co-workers, pets, clergy persons, neighbors, classmates (kindergarten and later), and congressional representatives. All too frequently, it also includes a large number of passersby, wandering squirrels, and foreigners who have never so much as met either of the parties involved.

The general atmosphere of a lesbian break-up is similar to that of trench warfare, bearing in mind of course that the Geneva convention does not apply, while the casualties are more in line with large-scale mutually annihilitive thermonuclear war.

When the Lesbian Two Degrees of Separation are accounted for, it rapidly becomes apparent that each lesbian break-up eventually includes every living thing on earth. Religious scholars have attempted to extend this by formulating what's called the lesbian theodicy, which states that "evil exists in the world because lesbians have free will to break up", but an analysis of this theory is beyond the scope of this article.

So Where Do You Go to Meet Other Single Lesbians?

Being a thirty-something, single lesbian in a heterosexual, male-dominated world, doesn’t exactly make for easy dating. Just trying to figure out where to meet other single lesbians can be a difficult task. So…based on my own dating experiences, and a little internet research (my favorite pass time), I came up with a list of the best places, in my opinion, to meet other single lesbians.

These are not in any particular order:

Sporting Events/Activities: Well as cliché as it might sound, one of the best places to meet other lesbians is at a women’s softball, soccer or football game. Whether you’re interested in actually joining a team, or you choose to just hangout in the stands, you’re bound to run into a handful (if not more) of single lesbians. If you’re not much of a team sports fan, try joining a women’s hiking, biking or camping group, there is bound to be a few lesbians in the bunch.

Local Lesbian Clubs and Organizations: I know this may sound obvious, but sometimes we tend to forget about our local GLBT resources, which exist in almost every major city in the US. In fact, there is actually a GLBT National Help Center, with over 15,000 resources to help you find the different community centers, social groups, gay newspapers, etc. in your area.

Religious/Spiritual Center:If your spiritual beliefs are an important part of your life, then it makes sense to try and meet other women through your church, temple or spiritual center. The Metropolitan Community Churches, Science of Mind Churches, United Church of Christ and Unitarian Churches, are known to be welcoming of gays and lesbians. You can find listings of gay-friendly churches through the GLBT National Help Center or www.gaychurch.org.

Lesbian Bar: In most cities you can find some sort of lesbian bar within a 60-mile radius. And being that lesbian bars tend to have lesbians in them, this can be another way to meet single woman. If your not into the “bar” scene, try going on an off night, and you may find the atmosphere a bit more laid back, which can make it a bit more conducive to actually having a conversation with someone.


Friends: our friends and acquaintances can be a great resource for meeting other single lesbians. Even if they are in a relationship, let them know that you are looking to meet new people. You never know who they might introduce you to, and you may find yourself among a whole new circle of people.

The Internet: Last, but not least, the Internet can be a great way to meet other lesbians. Online dating sites such as Match.com and Planetout.com, can offer you some anonymity while you search for your perfect date. And although there is often a charge associated with most online dating sites, it is usually worth it. These sites can give you access to a variety of women whom you might never have met otherwise. Other Internet resources for dating include social networking sites like Myspace and Friendster.

No matter what avenue you choose, and you may end up trying quite a few, just don’t give up. With a little effort, and a lot of patience, you will eventually find Ms right, or at least Ms right now.

Lesbian Online Dating Rules

With the increased popularity of online dating there has arisen a need for a new set of dating rules. Through a bit of research, some experience and quite a few mistakes of my own, I have come up with some lesbian online dating rules.

Step 1: Honesty, Honesty, Honesty - Starting with your own profile, all the way down to your photos, just be honest. Any little exaggerations (including taking 20 lbs off your actual weight or using a 15 year old) will all be found out eventually, should you decide to one day meet your date in person.

Step 2: Read her profile - I realize that while browsing through the vast expanse of profiles on various dating sites that you may come upon someone who appears to be “the woman of your dream," well, visually anyhow. And although you may find her breathtaking, here is a little tip… read her profile!!! If nothing more than to make sure you have enough in common to actually start a conversation. She will appreciate your attention to detail, and you will thank yourself if by chance this so-called "woman of your dreams,” makes mention in her profile of her need to stay in the state due to her last felony conviction. (Hey, anything is possible)

Step 3: Send more than just a wink - If you have taken the time to read someone’s profile, and you feel you have enough in common to start a conversation, then do just that...start a conversation. Now there is no need to send her your entire life story in the first email. Start out with a paragraph or 2 and maybe throw in a few things you read in her profile that you have in common.

Step 4: Take a little time, but not too much - I understand that sometimes lesbians (this includes myself) want to jump into all the "good" stuff when we meet someone new. However, when meeting online it is usually best to take a little time and get to know the person a bit. Try exchanging numbers and talking on the phone before actually meeting in person. Now on the other hand, don't wait months and months before you meet either or you may end up with high expectation only to find you spent 2 months chatting with someone you have absolutely no chemistry with.

Step 5: Safety First - I know that this may sound trite, and it is something you have heard before, but ladies please, when you go to meet someone for the first time, pick a public place and let someone know where you will be. It is important, and even if you think your safe, you never know whom you have actually been talking to, so better to err on the cautious side.

Step 6: Don't Give up - I realize the whole "online dating" experience can get a bit overwhelming and even a little depressing at times, but don't give up. If the first person you email doesn't respond, try someone else. Yes, it is possible that some women may not be interested in you, but it is also possible that the recipient isn't a paying member of that site, or the email went to spam, or a million other things. So don't take it personally, take another try, and eventually, you will meet someone, the odds truly are in your favor.

Lesbian Online Dating Site List

Here is a list of different dating sites that are either lesbian only or include a lesbian search. This list is a work in progress, so if you notice any missing sites, please let me know. Also, I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences, opinions, or anything else you would like to share about any of these dating sites.

• butchfemmematchmaker.com


• curiouslove.com


• femmematch.com


• Gay.com


• GayLesbianIntroduction.com


• ldate.com


• lavenderwomynpersonals.com


• LesbianPersonals.com


• lesbotronic.com


• match.com


• pinkcupid.com


• pinksofa.com


• PlanetOut.com


• Planetsappho.com


• Tangowire.com


• womanonline.com


• womyn4womyn.com


• Yahoo Personals