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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Happy New Year!

Just a few quotes to start off your New Year in the right direction.

"The reality is that changes are coming. ... They must come. You must share in bringing them."
-John Hersey

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."
-Edith Lovejoy Pierce

"One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things."
- John Burroughs

Wishing you all a Happy, Healthy and Properous 2011!

2011 Law Changes for California's LGBT Community

Thanks to Equality California, there are four new pieces of lesgialation that will help LGBT Californians in the New Year. All four will go into effect on January 1st, 2011.

  1. SB 543, authored by Senator Mark Leno, will allow LGBT youth to access mental health services without their parents' consent, ensuring they get the care that they need when they need it, without having to come out to their parents first.
  2. AB 2199, authored by Assemblymember Bonnie Lowenthal, repeals the reprehensible requirement that California seek the “causes and cures of homosexuality.”
  3. AB 2700, authored by Assemblymember Fiona Ma, will allow same-sex couples who are both domestic partners and married to dissolve their partnership and their marriage with the same process if they choose to separate.
  4. AB 2055, authored by Assemblymember Hector De La Torre, will grant same-sex couples who are about to enter into a domestic partnership the same unemployment benefits as opposite-sex couples who are about to wed.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Another Way to Win the $25 Lesbian Sex Toy Gift Card Giveaway

By request, I have have come up with 1 more way for you to enter the Lesbian Sex Toy Gift Card Giveaway. All you have to do is go to my new Facebook page and click the "Like It" button. Then come back to the blog and leave a comment letting me know that you did it. It is that simple!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Lesbian Sex Toy Gift Card Giveaway Contest

I am having a Sex Toy Gift Card Giveaway to Celebrate the Holiday Season!!!

And to answers all the questions you may have about this Lesbian Sex Toys Giveaway Contest, I decided to have a conversation with myself about it... (if you know me, you're probably laughing right about now, since I seem to constantly be having conversations with myself).

Just follow along, you'll catch on...

Q: So, what can I win at this Sex Toy Giveaway Contest?
So glad you asked... I will be giving away a $25 Gift Certificate to, which you can use to buy anything you want on their site.

Q: So, how do I enter?
There are 2 ways to enter the contest. One way is to go to my Facebook page and click on the "Like it" button, then come back to my blog and leave me a comment letting me know that you did it. The second way to enter is to Tweet about this contest and include a link to this blog page. Then be sure to come back here and leave a comment on this post with the tweet link. (For example:!/girl2grl/status/18133321045245952)

Q: Is there a way to get more then one entry into this contest?
A: Of course there is! To get a second entry into the contest just leave a comment on this post telling me what you would buy with the gift certificate if you won, why you would buy it, and then add a link to that product page so we can all check it out.

Q: Do I have to be a lesbian to enter this contest?
Of course not...and seriously, how the heck would I know anyway? Despite what some people think, we don't all know each other...well, most of the time...LOL.

Q: When does the contest end?
The contest will end at Midnight on January 5, 2011.

Q: How will you pick a winner?
All of the entries will be given a number as they come in, then those numbers will be entered in at, that way an unbiased computer program can be responsible for picking the winner. Making my life much easier!

Q: When will the winner be contacted?
A: The winner will be contacted by January 7th, 2011. I will also post the winner on my blog once they have been contacted. And no, we don't have to use your full name if you're not comfortable with it, just let me know.

One last thing, this contest is only open to US residents over the age of 18.

Well, I hope that answered all of the questions that may crop up, please feel free to email me if there are any that I missed.

Good Luck!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Rachel Maddow's Special Segment On the DADT Repeal

This video is from a Special MSNBC Rachael Maddow segment about the DADT Repeal. The first few minutes of the video are clips from previous programs that show the process that DADT has gone through over the past two years or so. After those clips are finished, she sits down with a number of service personnel who have been effected by DADT.

The entire video lasts about 15 minutes, but if you missed it the other night on MSNBC, it is well worth watching.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Breaking Down Media Stigma About Gay Marriage - Case Study in Legislation

Article by Tim Millett, a guest writer for Lesbian Dating & Relationships Blog

The recent furor regarding gay marriage in the US, Australia and elsewhere has exposed one basic fact- Widespread ignorance of issues, both among the public and politicians, both of whom obviously know less about gay relationships than they do about vibrators and alien mating rituals. The mainstream media, which is arguably even less well informed than the public, is even worse. The primitive issue management involved in media coverage of gay marriage was well beyond appalling.

Media and political perspective- Contradiction in terms?
To understand the problems getting through to the legislatures, it’s necessary to follow their mindsets. If you’ve ever seen the classic Yes Minister series, you may remember one line in particular- Hacker, referring to the public: “I am their leader- I must follow them!” This is exactly how the media has approached coverage of gay marriage. It’s also a reflection of how the political system and its “obsolescent intellectual equipment” (another quote from Yes Minister) has been dealing with the issues.

Both media and politics have assumed market positions that are really what they think are opinions with which the public agrees. This truly pathetic performance, so insular that it effectively negates any possibility of even defining the issues in gay marriages, is largely responsible for the mess.

To describe mainstream media as aware of anything would be a risky assertion. Translating anything through an interpretation of public views would get anyone a fail in a basic media class, but at editorial level, apparently that’s how things are done. The political system has a better excuse, in that political policies are invariably a generation behind reality on any subject.
News media are prepared to admit anything is relevant, when it’s on TV or clearly in the public eye, like a TV series. Otherwise, it’s out with the macros, and another piece of predictable, safe, cliché-soaked garbage comes thundering off the presses. The conservative commentators also respond to media stimulus like a cow prod, and if they’ll always be negative, a higher profile image would at least update their copy and views.

These two fountains of selective relevance are the primary source for politicians, or more importantly their media minders. Even a PR person is at least theoretically capable of watching TV and reading ratings, and interpreting statistics at a basic level.

Getting the message across
The fact is that to penetrate this fog requires high profile media material. The gay marriage issue would need to be translated into a sitcom to hit the arteries of “public consciousness” as mainstream media understands it, because that’s pretty much where marketing is focused. This approach is necessary because media management and politics have yet to catch up with the fact that they’re now marketing to a planet full of people having double degrees, not medieval rural peasants.

It may be seen as trivialization of an important issue, but it works. This is marketing, more than an appeal to sanity, which obviously doesn’t work very well. Gay marriages need to be seen in their true context, as lifetime relationships, without the fakery, overkill and trivialization of “conspicuously gay” portrayal. Humanize gay marriages through media, and the political hurricanes will blow the other way in a hurry.

Tim Millet is an Australian freelance writer and journalist. He writes extensively in Australia, Canada, Europe, and the US. He’s published more than 500 articles about various topics, including Sex Toys.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

New Tumblr: Butches Holding Animals

Kristen from Kitchentop Catering has created a new tumblr called Butches Holding Animals. The tumblr consists of pages & pages of adorable photos of dykes holding their pets, gotta love it!

Submissions are still welcome and encouraged, check it out!

Recently Published Butch Femme Study

Recently, Dr. Esther Rothblum published a study on butch/femme in The British Psychological Society's Psychology of Sexualities Review. The study and published article was named, "The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century." It was based on lesbian and bisexual women in their 20s to 60s, in rural and urban settings across the US, from diverse ethnic and racial groups. The sample was about equally divided into those who identified as butch, those who identified as femme, and those who did not identify specifically as either. The project focused on these women's understanding of butch/femme, and whether they found the terms butch or femme to be useful or representative.

Dr. Esther D. Rothblum is a Professor of Women’s Studies at San Diego State University and editor of the Journal of Lesbian Studies. Her research and writing have focused on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender relationships and mental health, and she has edited over 20 books.

Click here to read the full published study.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Belmont University Faculty Stand Up For Fired Lesbian Coach

Article by Michael A. Jones from

Is it acceptable for an employer to fire you because you want to start a family with your same-sex partner? Faculty at Belmont University say no, and they're coming to the defense of a lesbian women's soccer coach, Lisa Howe, who was removed by the University after she disclosed that she was having a child with her same-sex partner.

Last week, Belmont University's student newspaper ran an article quoting several soccer players who said that their coach was removed because of her sexual orientation. In the days since, scores of students, alumni, and community members have spoken out against the University's decision, even holding a demonstration on Sunday outside of the school. Here at More than 2,300 emails have been sent to the University, calling administrators out for fostering a climate of discrimination and homophobia.

Now University faculty are weighing in, saying that leaders of the University need to do something to quell Belmont's growing reputation as a beacon for intolerance. The Faculty Senate at the school passed a resolution late last night, stating that no employee should be fired because of her or his sexual orientation, and that leaders at the school ought to open up a dialogue on campus about LGBT issues.

"The Senate believes that the sexual identity of individuals should not impact that person's standing on campus," the resolution stated. It goes on to call for a campus-wide conversation about the place of LGBT students, staff and faculty at the Christian college.

That dialogue couldn't come soon enough. Weeks before Howe was removed from her job as head soccer coach, university officials denied several gay students the chance to form a campus group. The Dean of Students, Andrew Johnston, even suggested that gay Christians on campus could be disruptive.

"I know a lot of the gay community at Belmont feels marginalized and feels like they don't have a place to meet on campus," said Belmont student Robbie Maris last month. Maris is one of the students trying to organize the student group, Bridge Builders, to serve as a forum where discussion and examination of the Christian faith and LGBT-related issues can take place. But instead, the group continues to get the cold shoulder from Belmont leaders.

Here's hoping the resolution passed by the Faculty Senate last night underscores how important it is for leaders at Belmont University to deal not only with the question of why this gay student group can't meet on campus, but why employees are being shown the exit door solely because of their sexual orientation. We've said it before, and we'll say it again until we're blue in the face: Christianity does not have to equal discrimination. Belmont University has a prime chance here to demonstrate that. Will leaders at the school be willing to take that step?

Meanwhile, Lisa Howe herself issued a statement last night. The gist? That she's darn proud of the work she did at Belmont, and the family she's about to start with the love of her life.

"I was a good student athlete recruiter, had an organized and professionally run program, and was one of Belmont’s best employees,” Howe said. "I am proud of who I am and my family and our future, and I want every person—no matter what race, religion, nationality, or sexuality they represent—to feel the same way. Yes, I would have preferred to not be in the headlines, but if my situation leads to one person beginning to feel acceptance now, or one person becoming more understanding of diversity, and if people can talk openly and honestly about topics they never broached before, then this unfortunate situation will have served a positive purpose.”

Sounds like the words of a very wise woman. One that students and soccer players at Belmont University would be lucky to call coach.

Article by Michael A. Jones from

Monday, November 29, 2010

2010 Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide

With Chanukah arriving so early this year, and Christmas just around the corner, I thought it was just about time to put together my 2010 Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide. So if you have been wondering what the heck you were going to get for all those lesbians in your life, no worries, I have lots of new and exciting ideas this year, and I am sure you will find something in the bunch that will be perfect!

Lesbian Books
Books are aways a great gift...and you don't have to worry about anyone's size. Here are a few that I thought might make a great gift.

Best Lesbian Erotica 2011
From Cleis Press
From editor Kathleen Warnock's best-selling series, here is the newest book featuring work from some of the best-known erotic writers as well as the debuts of startling new talent. Best Lesbian Erotica 2011 welcomes back some familiar faces, including Stella Sandberg. Her story, "Manchester, 2000," follows the European adventures of two studs on a long ride. Perennial favorite Betty Blue returns with "The Garden of Earthly Delights," an encounter between a firespirit and a lost boi on the celestial plane. Cheyenne Blue’s "A Story About Sarah" travels to the antipodes, telling the story of a life-long love between a rancher’s daughter and a half-Aboriginal woman.

by Malinda Lo
Synopsis: In a delicious, genre-bending take on the classic Cinderella tale, Ash is a dreamy, bereft girl who must choose between a seductive, but dangerous fairy, and an alluring, kind huntress. Growing up steeped in fairy tales by her long-dead mother, Ash is treated horribly by her stepfamily after her father dies. On visits to her mother's grave, she meets Sidhean, a fairy she finds herself attracted to, longing to see him more and more. But when Kaisa, a huntress for the King, teaches her how to hunt, Ash discovers feelings she didn't know were possible.

The Little Stranger
by Sarah Waters
Sarah Waters fans will love this old-fashion ghost tale set in England post WWII. The author of Affinity and Fingersmith does not disappoint in her latest mystery novel. From The Washington Post: "The supernatural creaks and groans that reverberate through this tale are accompanied by malignant strains of class envy and sexual repression that infect every perfectly reasonable explanation we hear. The result is a ghost story as intelligent as it is stylish. I'm not giving anything away by reminding you to keep your eyes on the narrator. "

Bobby Blanchard Lesbian Gym Teacher
by Monica Nolan
Synopsis: Monica Nolan’s Bobby Blanchard, Lesbian Gym Teacher is an outrageously camp homage to the lesbian pulp genre. This over-the-top potboiler leaves no pulpy plot device unscathed—we get wayward schoolgirls, unbridled passion and intrigue galore!

Roberta “Bobby” Blanchard has had an accident, forcing her to give up professional field hockey and teach at an elite boarding school, where all is not as it seems. With a ferocious field hockey team and a suspicious death that needs solving, Bobby has her hands full. Not only that, but this irresistible gym teacher has a knack for uncovering every schoolgirl’s secret sexual desire. Oh, Bobby Blanchard, how we love you so!

Movies are another great gift idea, I mean who doesn't like movies??? Here are a few lesbian related movies that would make a great Holiday gift

And Then Came Lola
Synopsis: In this time-bending, sexy, lesbian romp with an irreverent nod to the popular art-house classic Run, Lola, Run a talented, but distracted photographer, Lola, (Ashleigh Sumner) on the verge of success in both love and work, could lose it all if she doesn't make it to a crucial meeting on time. But, as usual, Lola is late. With her job and girlfriend Casey (Jill Bennett) on the line, she has three chances to make it right. In a desperate race through the streets and backrooms of San Francisco, time grows short will Lola make it?

I can't Think Straight
Tala, a London-based Palestinian, is preparing for her elaborate Middle Eastern wedding when she meets Leyla, a young British indian woman who is dating her best friend. Spirited Christian Tala and shy Muslim Leyla could not be more different from each other, but the attraction is immediate and goes deeper than friendship. As Tala's wedding day approaches, simmering tensions come to boiling point and the pressure mounts for Tala to be true to herself. Moving between the vast enclaves of Middle Eastern high society and the stunning backdrop of London's West End, I Can't Think Straight explores the clashes between East and West, love and marriage, conventions and individuality, creating a humorous and tender story of unexpected love and unusual freedoms.

Synopsis: Anora Fleece has got it rotten. Her husband is abusive, her children are disrespectful, and she lives in the middle of nowhere feeling like a nobody. Then Imogene Cochran moves into the neighborhood. Imogene sells Kathy K. Kosmetics make-up for the cocoa skinned woman. The neighbors don t like cocoa skinned anything, but that doesn t stop Imogene and Anora from becoming friends and, eventually, more than friends. When Anora s husband, Cheb, finds them, all hell breaks loose, but the tables are turned when Anora accidentally shoots Cheb dead. Anora and Imogene then pile the kids in the Kathy K. car, throw the corpse in the trunk and ride off on a family road trip to bury Daddy.

Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement
After 42 years, feisty and delightful lesbian couple Edie and Thea are finally getting married. From the early '60s to the present day, the tireless community activists persevere through many battles, both personal and political. As Edie says, We just went on with this talent we have for wrestling joy from the shit. Susan Muska and Greta Olafsdottir (THE BRANDON TEENA STORY) return with a love story of two remarkable women whose commitment to each other is an inspiration to us all.

Real L Word: The First Season
Lesbian Sex and Sexuality will take viewers on an uncharted and provocative journey where the subject of lesbian sexuality and desire isn't whispered, but celebrated.

Calendars have always been a traditional Holiday gift in my family, and these calendars would make a great gift for your extended lesbian family, or possibly even yourself.

Judy Francesconi Retro 2011 Calendar
Retro 2011 is the Ultimate Collector's Edition 16 month Calendar containing over 60 photographs in a 12x12 format that opens to 12x24. This eloquent collection of stunning, sensual, beautiful images celebrates the past 17 years of Judy's groundbreaking intimate Women with Women Series. 32 pages--this is truly a hanging BOOK! Printed on extra heavy weight stock in beautiful color and duotone. Each page is suitable for framing.

2011 Women of DC Unleashed Wall Calendar
Women of DC Comics - Brace yourself for this unique demonstration of feminine power. 16 months of the most known DC Comics heroines is any fan's fantasy.

2011 Olivia's Bettie Page Calendar
Olivia's art has spanned over 30 years, an unrivaled collection of Cheesecake and Pinup art. Bettie Page was one of Olivia's most famous models and this 16 month 2011 wall calendar portrays Olivia's Pinup images and the poses of Bettie Page.

Whether your looking for something special for your partner, or maybe even something for yourself, sex toys are always a fun option. Here are a few items that might make the perfect Holiday gift.

Oh Baby!
This wireless personal massager is activated by remote control! Secretly surprise your partner with a choice of 10 different vibration modes and watch her cry..."Oh, Baby!"

Astrea I or Astrea II (the thong version)
Stretch lace panty has a removable vibrating unit for clitoral stimulation and a remote control that works up to 12 feet away for hands-free self- or partner stimulation!

Little Su Dildo
Made for woman by woman,this unique non-phallic dildo turns partnered sex into a stimulating adventure providing internal AND external stimulation for maximum pleasure. Great for solo use as well.

If you need gifts for those lesbians in your life who have a passion for stylish clothing, accessories or jewelry, here are a few ideas for some more "lesbian centric" items

GAY Belt Buckle
This very cool GAY belt buckle measures 3" x 2" and fits up to a 1-1/2" belt strap in width. This hand-made buckle is made from zinc alloy with crystal clear enamel coating and chrome finish. durable, high-quality, pre-shrunk 100% cotton t-shirt. This great logo design is also available in other t-shirt styles, sweatshirts, caps and buttons.

Dykesville Tavern Baseball Jersey 100% cotton Baseball Jersey available in red, blue or black sleeves.

Equality Leather Cuff
Adjustable leather band measures 8 1/2" comes in brown or black with stainless steel plate engraved with HRC equal sign.

Well I hope you were able to find a few items that worked for your holiday gift list, if nothing else, perhaps I got you in the mood for some holiday shopping.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Special Video Message for LGBT Youth from Pixar Studios - It Gets Better

A touching message of hope for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender youth from the LGBT employees of Disney's Pixar. This is an amazing video, please take a few minutes and watch it, you won't regret it.

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Give A Damn Campaign Releases A New PSA About Homelessness Among GLBT Youth

The Give a Damn Campaign, one of Cyndi Lauper's projects that was created by her True Colors Fund, has released their latest video to raise awareness about homeless among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. Eden Riegel, Susan Sarandon, Alan Cumming, Rebecca Romijn, Pete Wentz, and Cyndi Lauper speak up about the need to bring an end to this epidemic.

Every year there are somewhere between 500,000 and 1.6 million kids in the U.S. that are homeless or runaways. GLBT youth make up an estimated 3% to 5% of the general U.S. population. However they make up more than 20% and possibly up to 40% of all homeless kids in the country.

Conflict within the family is the most common cause of all youth homelessness. For gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender kids, the issues are often about their sexual orientation or gender identity. Half of all kids get a negative reaction from their family when they come out to them, resulting in many of them running away. More than 1 in 4 are actually thrown out of their homes because they are GLBT.

“As a parent, I can’t understand those who would kick out their own kid simply because they are gay or transgender,” says Cyndi Lauper. “Your child is a part of you, throwing them out on the street is like ripping out a part of your own soul. No child should ever be homeless, especially when they have a family that can give them the love and acceptance that they need. It’s time all of us parents join together and let our kids know that their home is always a safe place for them no matter what.”

Once living on the streets, GLBT kids have a hard road ahead of them with a higher rate of victimization and suicide. They also have to deal with greater difficulties in finding resources that are willing or able to assist them, sometimes facing further rejection from the very people and institutions that are expected to help them, solely because they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

To learn more about this gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender homeless youth and the Give A Damn campaign, please visit

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Gay Wedding in the Skies over Canada

Passengers aboard a red-eye Virgin America flight woke up to an unusual announcement as they got close to New York early this morning. Two men aboard the flight got married when the plane briefly flew over Canada (where marriage is legal).

The head flight attendant announced: “While you were sleeping, we had a little wedding in the galley. The captain diverted us over Canadian airspace so he could marry two gentlemen.” and "We'd like to wish them the best and offer them a round of applause," said Ryan McManus, a passenger who was returning home to New York, noting that the passengers applauded on cue.

This was actually not the first wedding ceremony onboard a Virgin flight. In October 2007, on a flight from San Francisco to Las Vegas, a wedding was performed by Virgin Group Chairman Sir Richard Branson.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Cher Talks with Letterman About Chaz's Gender Reassignment Surgery

This past Thursday, Cher had sat down to talk with David Letterman about her new movie Burlesque. However, the conversation quickly turned to questions about Chaz and his recently completed gender reassignment surgery.

"The day that we talked about it, really talked about it seriously, I said, 'If you have to do this you just have to do it,'" she said. "I wasn't always able to be quite as calm through the process, but that day I was so calm, and just thought, 'This is what has to happen.'"

"She was a lesbian - she still is - but it's not the same now," Cher said. "She has a beautiful girlfriend. But it's not the same thing as being a homosexual, you feel as if you're in the wrong body."

Cher mixed her pronouns throughout the interview and recently admitted that she still sometimes slips up and calls Chaz a girl. "I still haven't got the pronouns right, but she says that's not so important."

Here is a clip of the Cher/Letterman interview:

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Celebrating National Sex Toy Day With A Sex Toy Review

In honor of the 2010 National Sex Toy Day, which is today, I thought what better way to start a conversation about sex toys then to write a sex toy review. And the toy I chose to review today is the Midnight Purple Tantus Curve.

The Tantus Curve was obviously named for it's upward curved shape, which is perfect for stimulating your G-spot. The slightly bulbed head and gentle ridges along the top add extra sensation to vaginal or anal penetration. The Curve also boasts a wide, almost teardrop-shaped base, which makes it perfect for both harness or solo play.

The Curve is considered a medium size dildo, measuring 6"L x 1-3/8" in Diameter and comes in Midnight Purple.

The Tantus Curve is hand-made from a unique blend of 100% Ultra-Premium silicone that is hypoallergenic, pthalate free, odorless, boilable, bleachable and completely non-toxic. You can even throw it in the dishwasher if you'd like.

Now I am aware that some lesbians prefer that their dildos do not resemble a penis in any way, shape or form. However, I feel that the Curve, with it's velvety smooth form, gentle ridges, purple color and wide base, offers enough differences to make the majority of lesbians happy, which is not an easy task.

From my experience with the Tantus Curve, I believe that this toy would make a great addition to almost anyone's sex toy box. Although I wouldn't advise this particular dildo for a beginner, the size and curved shape will make this a favorite for any women who enjoys g-spot stimulation. And really, how can you go wrong with a dildo that is both hypoallergenic and easy to clean, that's a win-win in my book.

If you would like to check out the Tantus Curve for yourself, or any of the other Tantus Dildos, just visit

Monday, November 1, 2010

Don't Forget to Vote Today, Tuesday, Nov. 2nd, 2010!!!

It's election time again and no matter how you feel about politics, it is essential that you play a part in this election. Chances are, the outcome of this election will effect your life for years to come and this may be the only opportunity to stand up and be counted. Your Vote can make a difference!

If you are still on the fence about who to vote for in this election, HRC, The Human Rights Campaign, has put together a list of candidates that they believe will support the LGBT community and equality for all. Below is that list.

Candidates for U.S. Senate
Barbara Boxer (D-CA)
Michael Bennet (D-CO)
Richard Blumenthal (D-CT)
Chris Coons (D-DE)
Kendrick Meek (D-FL)
Daniel K. Inouye (D-HI)
Roxanne Conlin (D-IA)
Alexi Giannoulias (D-IL)
Barbara Mikulski (D-MD)
Robin Carnahan (D-MO)
Harry Reid (D-NV)
Paul Hodes (D-NH)
Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY)
Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Elaine Marshall (D-NC)
Lee Fisher (D-OH)
Ron Wyden (D-OR)
Joe Sestak (D-PA)
Patrick Leahy (D-VT)
Patty Murray (D-WA)
Russ Feingold (D-WI)

Endorsements for Governor
Terry Goddard (D-AZ)
Jerry Brown (D-CA)
John Hickenlooper (D-CO)
Alex Sink (D-FL)
Neil Abercrombie (D-HI)
Pat Quinn (D-IL)
Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Libby Mitchell (D-ME)
Mark Dayton (D-MN)
John Lynch (D-NH)
Diane Denish (D-NM)
Andrew Cuomo (D-NY)
Ted Strickland (D-OH)
John Kitzhaber (D-OR)
Bill White (D-TX)
Peter Shumlin (D-VT)

U.S. House of Representatives
Terry Sewell (D-AL-7)
Ann Kirkpatrick (D-AZ-1)
Ed Pastor (D-AZ-4)
Harry E. Mitchell (D-AZ-5)
Raúl M. Grijalva (D-AZ-7)
Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ-8)
Joyce Elliott (D-AR-2)
Mike Thompson (D-CA-1)
Bera Ami (D-CA-3)
Doris O. Matsui (D-CA-5)
Lynn C. Woolsey (D-CA-6)
George Miller (D-CA-7)
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA-8)
Barbara Lee (D-CA-9)
John Garamendi (D-CA-10)
Jerry McNerney (D-CA-11)
Jackie Speier (D-CA-12)
Fortney Pete Stark (D-CA-13)
Anna G. Eshoo (D-CA-14)
Michael M. Honda (D-CA-15)
Zoe Lofgren (D-CA-16)
Sam Farr (D-CA-17)
Lois Capps (D-CA-23)
Howard L. Berman (D-CA-27)
Brad Sherman (D-CA-27)
Adam B. Schiff (D-CA-29)
Henry A. Waxman (D-CA-30)
Xavier Becerra (D-CA-31)
Judy Chu (D-CA-32)
Karen Bass (D-CA-33)
Lucille Roybal-Allard (D-CA-34)
Maxine Waters (D-CA-35)
Jane Harman (D-CA-36)
Laura Richardson (D-CA-37)
Grace F. Napolitano (D-CA-38)
Linda T. Sánchez (D-CA-39)
Joe Baca (D-CA-43)
Steve Pougnet (D-CA-45)
Loretta Sanchez (D-CA-47)
Beth Krom (D-CA-48)
Francine Busby (D-CA-50)
Bob Filner (D-CA-51)
Susan A. Davis (D-CA-53)
Diana DeGette (D-CO-1)
Jared Polis (D-CO-2)
John T. Salazar (D-CO-3)
Betsy Markey (D-CO-4)
Ed Perlmutter (D-CO-7)
John B. Larson (D-CT-1)
Joe Courtney (D-CT-2)
Rosa L. DeLauro (D-CT-3)
Jim Himes (D-CT-4)
Christopher S. Murphy (D-CT-5)
John Carney (D-DE-AL)
Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-DC-AL)
Alan Grayson (D-FL-8)
Kathy Castor (D-FL-11)
Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL-18)
Ted Deutch (D-FL-19)
Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL-20)
Ron Klein (D-FL-22)
Alcee L. Hastings (D-FL-23)
Joe Garcia (D-FL-25)
Hank Johnson (D-GA-4)
John Lewis (D-GA-5)
Mazie K. Hirono (D-HI-2)
Bobby L. Rush (D -IL-1)
Jesse L. Jackson, Jr. (D-IL-2)
Luis V. Gutierrez (D-IL-4)
Mike Quigley (D-IL-5)
Danny K. Davis (D-IL-7)
Melissa L. Bean (D-IL-8)
Janice D. Schakowsky (D-IL-9)
Dan Seals (D-IL-10)
Debbie Halvorson (D-IL-11)
Judy Biggert (R-IL-13)
Bill Foster (D-IL-14)
Phil Hare (D-IL-17)
Andre Carson (D-IN-7)
Bruce L. Braley (D-IA-1)
David Loebsack (D-IA-2)
Leonard L. Boswell (D-IA-3)
Stephene Moore (D-KS-3)
John A. Yarmuth (D-KY-3)
Chellie Pingree (D-ME-1)
Michael H. Michaud (D -ME-2)
John P. Sarbanes (D-MD-3)
Donna Edwards (D-MD-4)
Steny H. Hoyer (D-MD-5)
Elijah E. Cummings (D-MD-7)
Chris Van Hollen (D-MD-8)
John W. Olver (D-MA-1)
Richard E. Neal (D-MA-2)
James P. McGovern (D-MA-3)
Barney Frank (D-MA-4)
Niki Tsongas (D-MA-5)
John F. Tierney (D-MA-6)
Edward J. Markey (D-MA-7)
Michael E. Capuano (D-MA-8)
Stephen F. Lynch (D-MA-9)
Bill Keating (D-MA-10)
Dale E. Kildee (D-MI-5)
Mark Schauer (D-MI-7)
Gary Peters (D-MI-9)
Sander M. Levin (D-MI-12)
Hansen Clarke (D-MI-13)
John Conyers, Jr. (D-MI-14)
John D. Dingell (D-MI-15)
Timothy J. Walz (DFL-MN-1)
Betty McCollum (DFL-MN-4)
Keith Ellison (DFL-MN-5)
Tarryl Clark (DFL-MN-6)
James L. Oberstar (DFL-MN-8)
William Lacy Clay (D-MO-1)
Russ Carnahan (D-MO-3)
Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO-5)
Shelley Berkley (D-NV-1)
Dina Titus (D-NV-3)
Carol Shea-Porter (D-NH-1)
Ann Kuster (D-NH-2)
Robert E. Andrews (D-NJ -1)
John Adler (D-NJ -3)
Frank Pallone, Jr. (D-NJ -6)
Bill Pascrell, Jr. (D-NJ -8)
Steven R. Rothman (D-NJ -9)
Donald M. Payne (D-NJ -10)
Rush D. Holt (D-NJ -12)
Albio Sires (D -NJ -13)
Martin Heinrich (D-NM-1)
Ben R. Lujan (D-NM-3)
Timothy H. Bishop (D-NY-1)
Steve Israel (D-NY-2)
Carolyn C. McCarthy (D-NY-4)
Gary L. Ackerman (D-NY-5)
Gregory W. Meeks (D-NY-6)
Joseph Crowley (D-NY-7)
Jerrold Nadler (D-NY-8)
Anthony D. Weiner (D-NY-9)
Edolphus Towns (D-NY-10)
Yvette D. Clarke (D-NY-11)
Nydia M. Velázquez (D-NY-12)
Michael McMahon (D-NY-13)
Carolyn B. Maloney (D-NY-14)
Charles B. Rangel (D-NY-15)
José E. Serrano (D-NY-16)
Eliot L. Engel (D-NY-17)
Nita M. Lowey (D-NY-18)
John J. Hall (D-NY-19)
Scott Murphy (D-NY-20)
Paul Tonko (D-NY-21)
Maurice D. Hinchey (D-NY-22)
Michael A. Arcuri (D-NY-24)
Dan Maffei (D-NY-25)
Brian Higgins (D-NY-27)
Louise Slaughter (D-NY-28)
David E. Price (D-NC-4)
Melvin L. Watt (D-NC-12)
Brad Miller (D-NC-13)
Steve Driehaus (D-OH-1)
Dennis J. Kucinich (D-OH-10)
Marcia Fudge (D-OH-11)
Betty Sutton (D-OH-13)
Mary Jo Kilroy (D-OH-15)
John Boccieri (D-OH-16)
Tim Ryan (D-OH-17)
David Wu (D-OR-1)
Earl Blumenauer (D-OR-3)
Peter A. DeFazio (D-OR-4)
Kurt Schrader (D-OR-5)
Robert A. Brady (D-PA-1)
Chaka Fattah (D-PA-2)
Bryan Lentz (D-PA-7)
Patrick J. Murphy (D-PA-8)
Allyson Y. Schwartz (D-PA-13)
Michael F. Doyle (D-PA-14)
David Cicilline (D-RI-1)
James R. Langevin (D-RI-2)
James E. Clyburn (D-SC-6)
Steve Cohen (D-TN-9)
Al Green (D-TX-9)
Rubén Hinojosa (D-TX-15)
Silvestre Reyes (D-TX-16)
Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX-18)
Charles A. Gonzalez (D-TX-20)
Lloyd Doggett (D-TX-25)
Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-TX-30)
Peter Welch (D-VT-AL)
Glenn Nye (D-VA-2)
Robert C. Scott (D-VA-3)
James P. Moran (D-VA-8)
Gerry Connolly (D-VA-11)
Jay Inslee (D-WA-1)
Rick Larsen (D-WA-2)
Norman D. Dicks (D-WA-6)
Jim McDermott (D-WA-7)
Suzan DelBene (D-WA-8)
Adam Smith (D-WA-9)
Tammy Baldwin (D-WI-2)
Ron Kind (D-WI-3)
Gwen Moore (D-WI-4)
Julie Lassa (D-WI-7)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Attention Single Lesbians: Free Communication Halloween Weekend

As a special Halloween treat, our lesbian online personals site,, is offering a Free Communication Weekend. Browse and chat with other single lesbians all weekend long for FREE!

This event starts on Friday, October 29, 2010 and ends on Sunday, October 31, 2010 at midnight. So click here to check it out!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

School District Ordered to Pay Lesbian Student's Legal Fees

On Tuesday, a federal judge ordered a school district in Mississippi to pay close to $81,000 in legal fees and expenses in the well publicized lawsuit between a lesbian teenager who was unable to bring her girlfriend to prom and a Mississippi school district. Click here to read the full story.

Friday, October 22, 2010

President Obama's Video Message to LGBT Youth

In September, columnist Dan Savage launched "It Gets Better Project" to speak directly to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth who have been bullied at school by peers, teachers, parents, churches and the like.

Savage created this project because he believes that many LGBT youth are unable to picture what their lives would be like as openly gay or lesbian adults. They can't imagine any kind of future for themselves. So the purpose of his project is to show these young adults through video, what adult Gay & lesbian lives are like, and what the future may hold in store for them.

Thousands of people have already sent in videos with words of support and hope. And yesterday, the White House released President Obama's video message of support to all LGBT youth.

Please take a moment to watch this video and share it with everyone you know.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Don't Ask Don't Tell is Back in Effect

Well I hope none of you ran out and re-enlisted in the Military openly stating that you were a lesbian just because you thought the Don't Ask Don't Tell law had been repealed...because guess what, it's back.

Today The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals granted the Obama administration’s request for a temporary freeze of the California federal judge’s order telling the military to stop enforcing the DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell) policy.

Lawyers for the Government wanted to suspend the ruling while appeals were pending, arguing that it would pose a major problem for the military if service members were to reveal their sexual orientation before the issue is fully decided.

So now what? Well the original judge's decision to stop DADT is basically brushed aside, at least for the moment, and lawyers for the gay rights group that brought the case to court have until Monday to file arguments against this suspension. Now we just have to wait and see if after receiving and considered all arguments, the appeals court decides whether or not they will prolong the suspension during the appeal.

And I really do wonder...what happens to all those Gay & Lesbian soldiers that over the past couple of days either openly enlisted, openly re-enlisted or came out while serving?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Groundspark Films Responds to News of Gay Teen Suicides

Since 1978, GroundSpark (formerly Women's Educational Media) has been producing and distributing films, educational resources and campaigns on issues ranging from environmental concerns to affordable housing to preventing prejudice.

In light of the recent teen suicides of Asher Brown, Raymond Chase, Tyler Clementi, Billy Lucas, and Seth Walsh, who were subjected to harassment and ridicule because they were gay or thought to be gay, Groundspark is offering many of their streaming online films for free, all throughout October & November.

Their hope is to start conversations between kids, parents, and educators, so we can all come together to create safer, more inclusive schools and communities.

The Groundspark online films they are offering include:

Let’s Get Real—about middle school name-calling, bullying, and bias

Straightlaced—How Gender’s Got Us All Tied Up—how teens are confronting our
culture’s ideas of “male” and “female”

It’s Elementary—Talking About Gay Issues in School—shows teachers addressing bias in K-8 classrooms

It’s STILL Elementary—a new call to action

To sign up to stream these films for free, please click here. To find more information about Groundspark, please visit their website at

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Gay Suicides Force Schools to Look at Anti-Bullying Programs

Associated press report:

A spate of teen suicides linked to anti-gay harassment is prompting school officials nationwide to rethink their efforts against bullying — and in the process, risk entanglement in a bitter ideological debate.

The conflict: Gay-rights supporters insist that any effective anti-bullying program must include specific components addressing harassment of gay youth. But religious conservatives condemn that approach as an unnecessary and manipulative tactic to sway young people's views of homosexuality.

It's a highly emotional topic. Witness the hate mail — from the left and right — directed at Minnesota's Anoka-Hennepin School District while it reviews its anti-bullying strategies in the aftermath of a gay student's suicide.

The invective is "some of the worst I've ever seen," Superintendent Dennis Carlson said. "We may invite the Department of Justice to come in and help us mediate this discussion between people who seem to want to go at each other."

Carlson's district in the northern suburbs of Minneapolis is politically diverse, and there are strong, divided views on how to combat bullying.

"We believe the bullying policy should put the emphasis on the wrong actions of the bullies and not the characteristics of the victims," said Chuck Darrell of the conservative Minnesota Family Council.

That's a wrongheaded, potentially dangerous approach, according to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network — which tries to improve the school climate for gay students nationwide.

"Policies have to name the problem in order to have an impact," said GLSEN's executive director, Eliza Byard. "Only the ones that name it see an improvement."

According to a 2009 GLSEN survey of 7,261 students, only 18 percent said their schools had a comprehensive program addressing anti-gay bullying, while gay students in schools that had such programs were less likely to be victimized and more likely to report problems to staff.

Across the political spectrum, every group weighing in on the issue had deplored the recent deaths — the latest in a long series of suicides over many years by harassed gay teens, but dramatic nonetheless because of the high toll in a short span.

The most recent and highest-profile case involved Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi, 18, who killed himself by jumping off the George Washington bridge after his roommate secretly recorded him with another male student, then broadcast the video online.

But at least four younger teens have killed themselves since July after being targeted by anti-gay bullying, including Justin Aaberg, 15, of Andover, Minn., who hanged himself in his room in July. His friends told his mother he'd been a frequent target of bullies mocking his sexual orientation.

Five other students in his Anoka-Hennepin school district have killed themselves in the past year, and gay-rights advocates say bullying may have played a role in two of these cases as well.

Carlson, the district superintendent, lost a teenage daughter of his own in a car crash, and says he shares the anguish of the parents bereaved by suicide. He acknowledges that a controversial district policy calling for "neutrality" in classroom discussions of sexual orientation may have created an impression among some teachers, students and outsiders that school staff wouldn't intervene aggressively to combat anti-gay bullying.

The district — Minnesota's largest — serves nearly 40,000 students in 13 towns. The school board adopted the neutrality policy in 2009 as a balancing act, trying not to offend either liberal or conservative families.

Rebecca Dearing, 17, a junior who belongs to the gay-straight alliance at the district's Champlin Park High School, said the neutrality policy caused teachers to shy away from halting anti-gay harassment — sometimes leaving her gay friends feeling vulnerable to the point where they don't come to school.

"This shouldn't be a political issue any more, when it's affecting the lives of our students," she said. "It's a human issue that needs to be dealt with. They can be doing more and they're not."

In August, amid the furor over the suicides, the district clarified its anti-bullying program — saying that it was not governed by the neutrality provision and had always been intended to encourage vigilant, proactive adult intervention to curb anti-gay harassment. Staffers were told failure to intervene would be punished.

Justin Aaberg's mother, Tammy Aaberg, is convinced the broader neutrality policy has been damaging to gay students and wants it changed. She said she heard belatedly from Justin's friends about instances in past years where he was harassed that she was never notified about even through staff members were aware.

Now she sees signs that the district wants to be more diligent, but isn't fully reassured.

"Most of the teachers and principals, and maybe even now the superintendent, they mean well — they want to intervene," she said. "But the teachers still don't know what they can and can't do."

Nadia Boufous Phelps, the school psychologist at Anoka's Blaine High School, is co-advisor for its gay-straight alliance — to which 27 of the 3,000 students belong. She welcomes the attempt to clarify the stance toward anti-gay bullying.

"In the past, the staff often would not intervene," she said. "Now the district has come out loud and clear, if you hear "That's so gay,' if you witness anything, you must do something."

Still, she said, "We still have a long way to go"

Carlson says his district, seven years ago, was among the first in the state to implement a comprehensive anti-bullying program. Now he's exasperated by the highly charged, politicized debate that has flared since Aaberg's suicide.

"It's a terribly sensitive situation," he said. "Hurtful statements on either side are not helpful ... and the kids are watching."

Phil Duran, staff attorney for the statewide gay rights group OutFront Minnesota, says Carlson and his colleagues are constrained by school board members who do not want to anger conservative voters in the district.

"They're between a rock and a hard place," he said. "I do think they want to do the right thing — I don't think they known what the right thing is."

Nationally, the recent suicides have intensified calls on Congress to pass a pending bill, the Safe Schools Improvement Act. It would require schools receiving federal funds to implement bullying prevention programs that specifically address anti-gay harassment.

Supporters of the act say it has bipartisan support, but the likelihood of Democratic losses in the Nov. 2 election cloud its prospects, and it is vehemently opposed by many conservatives.

"A lot of these anti-bullying programs are crossing the lines far beyond bullying prevention into adult-oriented material and politics," said Candi Cushman, education analyst for Focus on the Family. Mission America president Linda Harvey said the act would "incorporate mandatory pro-gay propaganda."

According to GLSEN, 10 states have anti-bullying laws along the lines of the Safe Schools Act — requiring specific components addressing anti-gay harassment. But gay-rights activists say enforcement and compliance is not uniform.

For example, Dave Reynolds of the Trevor Project, which seeks to combat teen suicides, says many California schools are not in compliance with the state's 10-year-old law. One problem area, he said, is California's Central Valley — the source of many calls to the Trevor Project's suicide hot line.

Jeffree Merteuil-Clark, 17, is a junior who's active in the gay-straight alliance at Frontier High School in Bakersfield, a Central Valley city not far from Tehachapi. That's the town where 13-year-old Seth Walsh, hanged himself outside his home last month after enduring taunts from classmates about being gay. He died after nine days in a coma.

Merteuil-Clark said the teachers who are sympathetic to bullied gay students tend to be cautious, fearing they might antagonize Kern County school administrators who want to "sweep the problem under the rug."

"Growing up gay in Kern County, you have all this opposition to you," he said. "It does have an impact on you. When you're little, you think the rest of the world hates you."

The debate has proved to be a minefield for the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, one of the largest in the nation, as it strives to serve schools ranging from progressive to conservative.

"We have to be extremely careful," said Marlene Snyder, the Olweus development director, describing a community-by-community approach which enables schools to tailor the program as they see fit in regard to anti-gay bullying.

"We've worked in all kinds of schools," Snyder said. "Some have very much taken on the homophobic situation. Other schools won't touch it with a 10-foot pole."

GLSEN sees a mixed picture nationwide — gay-straight alliances continue to spread, numbering more than 4,000 nationwide, yet nine of 10 gay students in its latest survey reported suffering anti-gay harassment,

Asked for an example of an effective program, GLSEN leader Eliza Byard cited New York City's Respect for All Initiative. The district, which serves 1.1 million students, makes specific mention of sexual orientation in its anti-bullying training for teachers and its materials for students.

"There's always more to do," said Elayna Konstan, head of the Office of School and Youth Development. "We're always trying to do this work better."

Of course, even a highly praised anti-bullying program doesn't spare New York City from its own share of anti-gay violence. Police charged members of a street gang with brutally beating a recruit they suspected of being gay and torturing him and two other people last week.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Lesbian Couple Kicked Out of Football Game for Kissing

According to the Washington Blade, Mary Kate Morris and Nicole Marchetto, a lesbian couple, were ejected from M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore during a football game between the Ravens and Cleveland Browns on Sept. 26.

The couple had used the half time break to visit the snack bar. While waiting in line they happened to kiss. A security guard approached them and told them to stop. The couple continued kissing because they believed, "the kissing was heartfelt and decent in the real sense and was not any different from what numerous law-abiding straight couples were doing all around us," Marchetto had told the blade.

The security guard asked to see their driver's licenses and then told the couple to leave the stadium. When asked why, the security guard accused the two of stealing a plastic cup that they had been using for ketchup and the beer they had just purchased.

A police officer told the security guard that they did not steal anything and that they had their receipts. However, three other officers forced the couple to leave the stadium.

The couple is considering legal action because they believe their ejection was a direct result of them kissing.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

GLBT History Month Celebrates Their 5th Anniversary

by Chip Alfred, Equality Forum

2010 marks the 5th Anniversary of GLBT History Month. “In just five years, GLBT History Month has mushroomed into our community’s most collaborative project with over 650 organizations having GLBT History Month links on their Web sites,” stated Malcolm Lazin, Executive Director, Equality Forum, and founder of GLBT History Month.

“Our community has made profound international contributions as reflected by Alexander the Great, James Baldwin, environmental movement pioneer Rachel Carson, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Eleanor Roosevelt, Tchaikovsky, Alan Turing, Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde.”

“Our nation has been enriched by Leonard Bernstein, George Washington Carver, George Eastman, Barney Frank, Philip Johnson, Alfred Kinsey, Annie Leibovitz, Margaret Mead, Suze Orman, Bayard Rustin and Gore Vidal.”

“Our culture would not be the same without Alvin Ailey, Jr., Ellen DeGeneres, Tom Ford, Cary Grant, Keith Haring, Elton John, Jasper Johns, Bill T. Jones, Tony Kushner, k.d. lang, Jane Lynch, Rachel Maddow, Martina Navratilova, Cole Porter, Bessie Smith, Gianni Versace, Andy Warhol and John Waters.”

GLBT History Month celebrates civil rights heroes such as Tim Gill, Barbara Gittings, Jim Hormel, Cleve Jones, Frank Kameny, Bishop Gene Robinson and Matthew Shepard,” said Lazin. Across the spectrum of 155 Icons, we have so much to be proud of in these remarkable role models and historic figures.”

The video below is a two-and-a-half-minute overview video of all 31 GLBT Icons. Then, beginning on October 1, a 30-second video featuring a different GLBT Icon will appear each day for 31 days.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 Video Project - Join In

In honor of "Coming Out Day" (October 11th), has decided to put together a new video mashup of GLBT members from around the world.

To participate, just record a short video of you coming out of something. They already have clips of members coming out of a bed, car trunk, closet, bathroom, from behind a tree - and they all had a blast recording them. Ask your friends to join you or record their own!

There have only two rules: Have fun and be creative

When your video is ready, send it to before September 29th (next Wednesday, so hurry up). The final mashup video will be released worldwide on Youtube and on October 10th at midnight.

Check out their video teaser below:

Friday, September 17, 2010

Romantic Jealousy is Scary!

By Larry James, Relationship Coach & Author

Jealously. . . it feeds on your insecurity, devours your self-confidence, and gobbles up the trust in your relationship.

Jealousy has been defined as an emotion experienced by one who perceives that another person is giving something that she or he wants (typically attention, love, or affection) to a third party.

Jealousy is an emotion resulting from the resentfully suspicious nature of man. It is a universal emotional trauma caused by things as well as people. Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat - real or imagined - to a valued relationship or to its quality. Jealousy has a mind of its own and it is strong enough to make us believe and see things that are not even there or that have not happened yet.

Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviors.

Believe it or not, like other difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for growth, increased self-awareness, and greater understanding of both your partner and your relationship.

While some couples seem to feed off of inciting a playful type of jealousy, many other relationships are laid to waste by uncontrollable and irrational fits of jealous rage.

In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. But when jealousy is intense or irrational, the story is very different.

Jealousy is almost always a demonstration of our own insecurities and low self-esteem. Unless an unfaithful partner has broken trust, about 90% of jealousy comes from from personal insecurity. When you are feeling unloved, be careful not to focus on your partner when the feelings are really inside you. Jealousy provides an opportunity to come to a fundamental understanding of yourself. You may be being driven by your fears.

Insecurities bring forth jealousy, which, in effect, is a cry for more love. It is within our rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts surface, however, the indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try and hide it. Jealousy is usually a signal of something needing fixing, and ignoring that usually only makes things worse.

To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:

Acknowledge your jealousy. Ask yourself where it is coming from and why it makes you feel jealous. I suggest asking yourself, "What do I feel insecure about? Do I feel unattractive or uninteresting myself? Do I doubt the other persons love for me? Their physical attraction? Do I doubt that I can have the type of relationship I want?"

Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off. Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion. Have patience and practice!

As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you.

Emma Goldman once said, "All lovers do well to leave the doors of their love wide open. When love can go and come without fear of meeting a watch-dog, jealousy will rarely take root because it will soon learn that where there are no locks and keys, there is no place for suspicion and distrust, two elements upon which jealousy thrives and prospers."

Monday, September 13, 2010

10 Resources to Help Long Distance Relationships

Courtesy of Sheryl Owen and

When one person in a relationship moves due to work, school, or any other reason it can naturally cause a lot of strain on the relationship. It’s really hard to explain just how difficult this can be until you have gone through the experience yourself. However, there are a lot of advancements in technology that have made it somewhat easier to be in a long distance relationship so I decided to put together a short list of 10 of the best resources that I am aware of for people struggling with this problem.

  1. Skype. I’m not willing to go so far as to say that Skype is the next best thing to come along since sliced bread, but it is pretty awesome for long distance relationships. You can chat pretty much any time over the Internet for free and what is more important is if you hook up web cams you can see your significant other as well while you talk.

  2. AOL Instant Messenger. I could just as easily picked on any other instant messaging service but since AOL is my chat service of choice it gets the spotlight. The nice thing about chat is that you can usually have it up most of the day while you work (on your PC) and you can even add a mobile client to keep you accessible on the go from your smart phone.

  3. Text Messaging (SMS). I’m almost not sure how society got along without the ability to send text messages. I get several every day from my significant other just reminding me of various things I need to do and to basically brighten my day. I wouldn’t want to be without a text/data plan any more with my cell phone.

  4. Google Apps. You can use Google apps and/or any shared calendar system to let the other person know what your schedule is like to avoid any anxiety over what you are doing at any given point in time. This can just head off some of the natural problems that occur with long distance relationships and not knowing what the other person has going on (I know… trust should be there but that’s hard from a distance).

  5. FaceBook. There isn’t much that you can’t find out about someone from their FaceBook page (assuming they are active on the platform). Between your computer and mobile device you can easily stay in touch and even share pics of each other. It’s also nice to take the time to write on the other person’s wall every now and then.

  6. Mologogo. You can use one of the many mobile GPS tracking solutions if you really want to notify each other of where you are all the time. This may actually not be a great idea as it may violate some privacy or show real trust issues, but if you don’t mind letting the other person know where you are there are several mobile GPS apps and services you can utilize.

  7. Twitter. If you aren’t a FB fan, then chances are you might be on Twitter. You can tweet out updates to your significant other as well to let them know what is going on where you are. Keep in mind though with Twitter, FaceBook, and other social networks that most of the time the World can see what you are saying too! Be smart about what you share!

  8. Tokbox. If you aren’t a Skype fan, you should give a try as they also have a great and free video chat service that will let you see and talk with your significant other. I can’t stress enough what a difference it makes after a long day or even to start your day by looking and talking to the person you love the most.

  9. Orbitz. You can get travel fare alerts from just about any of the large travel sites which can save you a ton of money on trips back to see your significant other. You never know you may decide to take a quick trip just because a great plane fare is available this weekend, next weekend, etc. No disrespect intended to Travelocity, Expedia, etc. Use all the services you can to get notified of flight deals.

  10. JibJab. You can use,,, and other great eCard services to send funny and interesting eCards to your significant other. It’s inexpensive (usually free) and you can give them a great personalized note to let them know you are thinking about them.

So while it can be difficult to be in a long distance relationship. You can actually communicate quite effectively to make it easier than ever to endure this time apart from one another. Hopefully, you will be able to find a way to be in the same location as your long distance love but if you can’t you can at least use the advancements in technology to stay connected and feel like you are an intricate part of the other person’s life.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Attention Single Lesbians...

This Thurday, Sept. 2nd, our lesbian dating site,, is offering Free Chat and Free vDate for lesbians, no paid membership required. Click here to check it out today!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Maturity in Relationships

by Larry James, author and relationship coach

Maturity, in general, is many things. Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture - the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action which will pay off later.

In a love relationship, it means being able to enjoy the instant gratification that comes with the romance of the moment while knowing the best is yet to be and being patient while you watch your love grow. It is knowing that by working together, the state of unconditional love will presence itself in the relationship and will mature with time. It is knowing that you grow into a love relationship. It doesn't happen all at once. Mature love partners seek new ways to help each other grow.

One of the characteristics of infancy is the "I want it now" approach. Grown-up people can wait. And often they don't. Often they allow themselves to slip back into infancy so they can justify rushing into things.

Maturity is the ability to stick with a project or a situation until it is finished. It means doing whatever it takes to make the relationship be one you are proud to be in. The adult who is constantly changing jobs, relationships, and friends, is in a word. . . immature. They cannot stick it out because they have not grown up. Everything seems to turn sour after a while.

Mature love partners have learned not to expect perfection in each other. They know that acceptance has its own reward. Each lover's differences test the other's capacity for acceptance, forgiveness and understanding. They never dance around issues. When necessary, they discuss their imperfections, lovingly, with care not to pass judgment with harmful words. Acceptance and tolerance hold hands in the presence of unconditional love.

Mature lovers -- lovers who love unconditionally -- develop a knack for side- stepping resentment and focusing on the good they see in one another. They have evolved to a higher level of understanding, one that transcends taking notice of the imperfections of the other.

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without complaint or collapse. Mature love partners know they can't have everything their own way. They are able to defer to circumstances, to other people - and to time, when necessary.

Mature love partners permit each other the freedom to pursue their individual interests and friends without restriction. This is when trust presents itself. Mature love allows this level of separateness to bring lovers closer together. In this scenario separateness is perceived as a bond, not a wedge. It encourages love partners to celebrate their own uniqueness.

Maturity is the ability to live up to the responsibilities of a love relationship, and this means being dependable. It means keeping your word; it means living in your relationship like your word really means something. Dependability equates with personal integrity. This means no withholds. It means saying what needs to be said, with love. Do you mean what you say? Do you say what you mean?

The world is filled with people who can't be counted on, people who never seem to come through in the clutches, people who break promises and substitute alibis for performance. They make excuses. They show up late - or not at all. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a chaotic maze of unfinished business and uncommitted relationships. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and to do more than is expected in your relationships. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. They would rather aim high and miss the mark than aim low and hit it.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

GLAAD Announces Nominees & Special Honorees for 2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) recently announced the nominees and honorees for the 2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising Presented by Omnicom Group, Publicis Groupe, and Rokk Vodka. Bryan Batt (Mad Men) will host the event on September 29, 2010 in New York City and Bethenny Frankel (Real Housewives of New York City, Bethenny Getting Married?) will present. Among the nominees are: Absolut Vodka's "Exceptional Moments: The Absolut RuPaul" commercials, Levi Strauss & Co.'s "Gay History Month/Logo Leaders" campaign, Progressive Insurance's "Works in Progress" ads, Wells Fargo's "Advocate Money Minute," and Givenchy's "Fall 2010" campaign featuring openly transgender model Lea T. A complete list of nominated ads is included below and can also be found at

GLAAD also announced that American Airlines will receive the Corporate Responsibility Award for its long-standing and public commitment to the LGBT community. As part of the American Airlines Rainbow TeAAM, the company has supported LGBT film festivals, fundraisers and Pride events across the country by serving as an official airline partner. American Airlines was also the first airline to score 100% on the Human Rights Campaign's Corporate Equality Index.

GLAAD will present Bob Garfield with the Public Visibility Award in recognition of his work to advocate for LGBT inclusion in advertising. For 25 years, Bob Garfield's iconic "AdReview" column in Advertising Age evaluated and deconstructed thousands of ads from hundreds of agencies worldwide. Throughout his tenure, Garfield has been a strong ally for the LGBT community, taking on some of the most formidable agencies in the nation over ads rooted in homophobia and stereotypes and applauding groundbreaking inclusions of LGBT people in mainstream advertising.

GLAAD is pleased to announce that this year's event is an official event of Advertising Week. Advertising Week is North America's premier gathering of cutting-edge communications leaders. Advertising Week is a hybrid of thought leadership and special event programming, uniting clients, creatives, media and inspiring figures. Advertising Week's mission is to galvanize the industry by creating an entertaining, enlightening and engaging platform for disparate parts of the advertising business.

The GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising elevate and promote individuals and projects in the advertising and marketing industries for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community and the issues that affect their lives. The GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising also fund GLAAD's work to amplify stories of LGBT people and issues through all media to build support for equality.

"We celebrate this year's nominees and special honorees for their inclusive work," said GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios. "However, this year we witnessed a decline in the number of inclusive advertisements in mainstream media, and as our community continues to strive for visibility, the advertising industry should take note."

"As we see more gay and transgender characters and stories on television and in film, American consumers are coming to expect images of our community in advertising as well," Barrios continued. "Advertisers who include fair and accurate images of our community accomplish more than targeting new consumers, they also send a powerful message about the American cultural fabric of which our community is an integral part."

The GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising will be held in New York on September 29, 2010 at the Grand Hyatt New York, 104 E. 42nd Street. More special guests and presenters will be announced. To purchase tickets for the event, please visit

Nominees for the 2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising were printed, broadcast or appeared online between July 1, 2009 and June 30, 2010.

Leveraging GLAAD's media advocacy and anti-LGBT defamation resources, GLAAD's Advertising Media Program monitors all forms of advertising and works to ensure fair and accurate representations of the LGBT community or demand action when defamation occurs. The Advertising Media Program proactively advances inclusion of the LGBT community in mainstream advertising through advocacy work at advertising agencies and corporate advertising departments. GLAAD maintains an online library of over 4,000 LGBT-inclusive ads at

Monday, August 16, 2010

Gay Marriage is Called Off in California

Just 2 days before California would have allowed same-sex marriages to begin again, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit announced that they are keeping the stay in place of Judge Walker’s historic decision striking down Proposition 8.

So, same-sex couples in California are once again being denied the right to marry, despite the fact that Judge Walker had clearly shown that it was unconstitutional to do so.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Stay Has Been Lifted!!!!

Judge Walker has lifted the stay on Prop 8 and as of Wednesday, August 18th at 5pm, Same Sex marriages will once again be allowed in California!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Will Judge Walker Lift the Stay on Prop 8?

Today is the day we find out if Judge Walker decides to lift the stay on Proposition 8 and allow same-sex couple to marry while the Prop 8 appeal makes its way to court, or to leave it in place, which would maintain the ban.

Lawyers for the two couples that had challenged Prop. 8 have asked Walker to lift the stay. And Governor Schwarzenegger and Attorney General Jerry Brown have joined in on that request.

The ruling will be issued sometime between 9am and 12pm and I will post his decision as soon as I hear about it.


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