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Friday, October 31, 2008

300 Leading California Pediatricians Oppose Prop 8

The NO on Prop 8 campaign recently released a statement signed by more than 300 leading California pediatricians announcing their opposition to Prop 8 and concluding that the physician who signed the Prop 8 ballot statement, Jane Anderson, MD, in no way represents the majority of pediatricians on this issue.

The pediatrician statement took issue with Dr. Anderson, who identifies herself as a Fellow of the American College of Pediatricians. According to that organization's Web site, the American College of Pediatricians believes homosexuality is "preventable and changeable" and that "spanking can be an effective component of discipline." (See:

The pediatrician's full statement against Prop 8 reads as follows:

"As pediatricians who care for children and families of California, we are writing to publicly deny any implication from the recently mailed "2008 California Voter" Guide that pediatricians support Prop 8. In the Guide, a rebuttal to the argument against Proposition 8 is signed by a pediatrician who is self-identified as a Fellow of the American College of Pediatricians (ACPeds). We wish to clarify that the ACPeds is an organization that does not in any way represent the majority of pediatricians' opinions regarding this initiative.

"The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), not the ACPeds, is the national organization with over 60,000 members that represents American pediatricians. The Board of Directors of the national office of the AAP commissioned a review of the relevant literature regarding child health in the context of same sex unions. The report was authored by a diverse panel of twelve experts from around the country and was published in the AAP's journal Pediatrics in 2006. It concludes,
'Civil marriage is a legal status that promotes healthy families by conferring a powerful set of rights, benefits, and protections that cannot be obtained by other means. Civil marriage can help foster financial and legal security, psychosocial stability, and an augmented sense of societal acceptance and support. Children who are raised by civilly married parents benefit from the legal status granted to their parents.

'Gay and lesbian people have been raising children for many years and will continue to do so in the future; the issue is whether these children will be raised by parents who have the rights, benefits, and protections of civil marriage.

'There is ample evidence to show that children raised by same-gender parents fare as well as those raised by heterosexual parents. More than 25 years of research has documented that there is no relationship between parents' sexual orientation and any measure of a child's emotional, psychosocial, and behavioral adjustment... Conscientious and nurturing adults, whether they are men or women, heterosexual or homosexual, can be excellent parents. The rights, benefits, and protections of civil marriage can further strengthen these families.'

"As physicians who care for society's most vulnerable members, we are committed to supporting what is best for our patients. In our clinical experience, supporting loving families supports children. Supporting the union and legal right of parents who care for our patients is not only the right thing for us to do; it is the professional thing to do.

Please join us in protecting our patients and vote against Proposition 8 on November 4."

The statement and the full list of pediatricians who signed it is posted online at

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Lesbian Porn Proceeds to benefit No on 8 Campaign

On Thursday, October 30th, Pink and White Productions, creators of queer adult entertainment, will be donating ALL their signup sales from folks joining to the "No on Prop 8 Campaign."

The is an online queer porn site based on the Award Winning feminist film, The Crash Pad. Director Shine Louise Houston brings to the web authentic female and queer sexuality through this on-going series of short films.

Sign up for a membership to and support Civil Rights and equality for everyone.

Pink and White Productions will be counting all sales up until 12:00 am (PST) on October 30th and want to be able to announce a HUGE donation, so spread the word!

Buying porn has never been so revolutionary.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Hilary Swank's Hysterical Ellen Impersonation

Hilary Swank must have spent hours engrossed in the Ellen DeGeneres Show to pull off this hysterical Ellen impersonation. Flaunting an adorable cropped hair style (for her part in Amelia Earhart), she had all the moves down to a T!

Check it out...

Monday, October 27, 2008

Red Flag Warning for Lesbian Relationships

When dating or starting a new relationship, many lesbians tend to ignore certain behaviors in their new partner that may not bode so well for their future. Yet when things fall apart and they are in the middle of a bad breakup, many lesbians say they wish they had known about these behaviors/habits/issues before they had gotten involved. The reality is, even though some women are capable of hiding their true colors for extended periods of time, if you pay close attention to the signs, you can usually detect red flag warnings before you become too involved in a relationship.

Here are just a few red flags warning to keep an eye out for:

  1. Blames others for their problems - Women who won't take ownership for their own problems and tend to play the part of "the victim," will eventually start blaming you for all of their problems.
  2. Gets attached or falls in love too quickly. (U-haul syndrome) - Women who tend to quickly jump into a relationship may be looking for someone to save them from their problems. You may want to question their motives for rushing into a relationship. Are they in debt, unemployed or homeless and looking for a Sugar Momma? Are they depressed and looking for someone to make them happy? Are they looking for someone to help them forget about an ex?
  3. Big Flirt - Someone who overtly flirts with other women, even when you are together, and then insists it's harmless, is a Big Red Flag.
  4. They won’t make sacrifices - Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is normal to keep things balanced. If your partner is rarely willing to give in on anything, chances are, that will not change anytime soon.
  5. Does not want to help with simple chores - Women who pout or complain when you ask them to help you out with the smallest of tasks, like washing the dishes or taking out the trash, is likely to view you as their care-taker, rather than a partner. In the long run, you may end up resenting this person.
  6. Control Issues - Does your partner tell you whom you can and can’t talk or spend time with? Does she tell you what you can or cannot wear? Does she try to make you feel guilty about pursuing outside interests or spending time with your friends and family? Romantic partners are supposed to support each other not own each other.
  7. Trust issues - Whether it is a little white lie you caught her in, or something much bigger, it is hard to regain trust once it is lost. A partner who lies, misleads you or fails to communicate openly, is not someone capable of a healthy relationship, nor are they worthy of your affection.
  8. Relationship Longevity - Women who have not been in a long-term relationship for longer than a year or two will often have commitment issues and tend to continue this pattern of short-term relationships until they have dealt with their issues.
  9. Financial Status - Not that I believe having money is everything, but I do think it is important that the person you are dating is gainfully employed and can keep a job for an extended period of time. It will also be helpful if they are not in serious debt, how your partner handles their finances can really effect the future of your relationship.
  10. Living Situation - Last, but not least, if you meet a woman who is over 30 and still living with her parents, RUN! Of course there are always exceptions, perhaps you meet someone who is taking care of her aging parents, which is very honorable. But lets face it, in this day and age, that is rarely the case, so be sure to check out the details before getting involved.
So those are my top 10 red flag warning, although I am sure I could probably come up with another 50 or so...yikes! Please feel free to share your favorite red flag warnings, when dating, you can never really have enough warnings, can you???

Friday, October 24, 2008

Yes on 8 Campaign now threatening businesses

As if the lies weren't bad enough, now the "Yes on 8" campaign has targeted business, threatening to publicly identify them "as opponents of traditional unions unless they contribute to the gay marriage ban, too."

AP Press writer Lisa Leff has all the details in the article below:

Leaders of the campaign to outlaw same-sex marriage in California are warning businesses that have given money to the state's largest gay rights group they will be publicly identified as opponents of traditional unions unless they contribute to the gay marriage ban, too., the umbrella group behind a ballot initiative that would overturn the California Supreme Court decision that legalized gay marriage, sent a certified letter this week asking companies to withdraw their support of Equality California, a nonprofit organization that is helping lead the campaign against Proposition 8.

"Make a donation of a like amount to which will help us correct this error," reads the letter. "Were you to elect not to donate comparably, it would be a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage. ... The names of any companies and organizations that choose not to donate in like manner to but have given to Equality California will be published."

The letter was signed by four members of the group's executive committee: campaign chairman Ron Prentice; Edward Dolejsi, executive director of the California Catholic Conference; Mark Jansson, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; and Andrew Pugno, the lawyer for A donation form was attached. The letter did not say where the names would be published.

The unusual appeal reflects the increasing tension surrounding the tight race over Proposition 8, which would change the California Constitution to limit marriage to a man and a woman. In recent days, both sides in the debate have accused their opponents of threatening their respective campaign volunteers and misleading voters.

San Diego businessman Jim Abbott, who owns a real estate company and is a member of Equality California's board of directors, received one of the letters late Wednesday afternoon. His adult son called Abbott to read it to him.

"He characterized it as a bit 'Mafioso,'" Abbott said. "It was a little distressing, but it's consistent with how the 'yes' side of this campaign has been run, which is a bit over the top."

Abbott, who married his same-sex partner at the end of August, estimated that over the last decade he has given $50,000 to Equality California, including a recent $10,000 gift to underwrite a San Diego event that raised money to defeat Proposition 8.

When asked whether planned to name businesses that have supported the No on 8 campaign, Prentice initially said he was unaware of any such effort.

"I'm not familiar of any organized attack against organizations that have given to No on 8," he said Thursday.

But when asked about the letter to Equality California donors, Prentice confirmed they were authentic and said the campaign was asking businesses backing the other side "to reconsider taking a position on a moral issue in California."

Prentice said it was his understanding it was intended for large corporations such as cable operators Time Warner and Comcast instead of small business owners like Abbott. Both Time Warner and Comcast are listed on Equality California's Web site as corporate sponsors that gave $50,000 each to the group.

Companies that have contributed directly to one of the campaign committees collecting cash to fight Proposition 8, including one set up by Equality California, also were recipients of the letter, Prentice said. That list includes companies such as Pacific Gas & Electric, Levi Strauss and AT&T.

"I think the IDing of, or outing of, any company is very secondary to the question of why especially a public corporation would choose to take a side knowing it would splinter it's own clientele," he said.

Equality California executive director Geoffrey Kors said Thursday he has heard from two other business owners besides Abbott.

"It's truly an outrageous attempt to extort people," Kors said.

While an anti-Proposition 8 group called Californians Against Hate has posted lists of gay marriage ban donors on the Internet and even launched boycotts of selected businesses, Kors said that work has been independent of the official No on 8 campaign.

"They are going after our long-term funding and trying to intimidate Equality California donors from giving any more to the No on 8 campaign and from giving to Equality California ever again."

While corporations often give to rival candidates for public office as a way of preserving their government access no matter who wins, tit-for-tat solicitations are almost unheard of in ballot initiative campaigns, said Robert Stern, president of the nonpartisan Center for Governmental Studies.

"This is a proposition where you are on one side or the other. You vote yes or no, not yes and no," Stern said.

Though unusual and disturbing, Stern said there was nothing illegal about hitting up Equality California supporters for money.

Sonya Eddings Brown, a spokeswoman, estimated that 36 companies were targeted for the letter and said those that do not respond with a contribution would be highlighted in a press release and on the campaign Web site.

She called the tactic "a frustrated response" to the intimidation felt by Proposition 8 supporters, who have had their lawn signs stolen and property vandalized in the closing days of the heated campaign.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

So is anyone else moving to Canada if the Republicans win?

I tend to joke a lot about moving to Canada if the Repulican Party wins the election this year, and it looks like I am not the only one. A friend of mine just sent me this great video, I think you will all get a kick out of it...I know I did!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Interfaith Service: Live Equally, Love Equally

Religious Leaders Join Together to Affirm Family Values by Supporting Marriage of Same-Sex Couples at Interfaith Service.

This event will bring together religious leaders and musicians from diverse religious traditions within Sonoma County who will join together to affirm family values by supporting marriage of same-sex couples. The service will be held at the Center For Spiritual Living at 2075 Occidental Road in Santa Rosa. For more information:

November 2nd, 2008 at 7:00pm

Center for Spiritual Living, 2075 Occidental Road, Santa Rosa

Speakers Include:
Rev. Kimberly Willis
, Christ Church United Methodist
Rabbi George Gittleman, Congregation Shomrei Torah
Rev. Elizabeth Middelberg, Metropolitan Community Church of the Redwood Empire
Rev. Blythe Sawyer, Petaluma United Church of Christ
Rev. Joyce Duffala, Center For Spiritual Living

A special Children's Sermon will be provided for kids in the audience by Rev. Jean Lebbert of Thanksgiving Lutheran Church. Choirs, song groups, and other religious leaders in our community will also be actively participating through music, prayer, affirmations, and call & response readings during the Interfaith Service.

Other participants include (alphabetical order):
Rev. Chris Bell, Unitarian Universalist Congregation
Rev. R. Timothy Canahan, Faith Lutheran Church
Rev. Carol Carter, Forestville United Methodist Church
Rev. Susan Fleenor, Knox Presbyterian Church
Rev. Leanna Hamilton, Metropolitan Community Church of Santa Rosa
Rev. Amy Seymour Haney, Windsor Presbyterian Church
Rev. Tim Kellgren, Elim Lutheran Church
Rev. Matthew Lawrence, Church of the Incarnation
Rev. David Parks Ramage, First Congregational United Church of Christ

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Truth and the Lies about Prop 8

Lie #1: Teaching children about same-sex marriage will happen in California unless we pass Prop 8.

Fact: Not one word in Prop 8 mentions education, and no child can be forced, against the will of their parents, to be taught anything about health and family issues at school. California law prohibits it, and the Yes on 8 campaign knows they are lying. Sacramento Superior Court Judge Timothy Frawley has already ruled that this claim by Prop 8 proponents is “false and misleading.”

Lie #2: A Massachusetts case about a parent’s objection to the school curriculum will happen here.

Fact: Unlike Massachusetts, California gives parents an absolute right to remove their kids and opt-out of teaching on health and family instruction they don’t agree with. The opponents know that California law already covers this and Prop 8 won’t affect it, so they bring up an irrelevant case in Massachusetts.

Lie #3: Four Activist Judges in San Francisco…

Fact: Prop 8 is not about courts and judges, it’s about eliminating a fundamental right. Judges didn’t grant the right, the constitution guarantees the right. Proponents of Prop 8 use an outdated and stale argument that judges aren’t supposed to protect rights and freedoms. This campaign is about whether Californians, right now, in 2008 are willing to amend the constitution for the sole purpose of eliminating a fundamental right for one group of citizens.

Lie #4: If Prop 8 doesn't pass, people may be sued over personal beliefs.

Fact: California’s laws already prohibit discrimination against anyone based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. This has nothing to do with marriage.

Lie #5: Pepperdine University supports the Yes on 8 campaign.

Fact: The university has publicly disassociated itself from Professor Richard Peterson of Pepperdine University, who is featured in the ad, and has asked to not be identified in the Yes on 8 advertisements.

Lie #6: Unless Prop 8 passes, CA parents won’t have the right to object to what their children are taught in school.

Fact: California law clearly gives parents and guardians broad authority to remove their children from any health instruction if it conflicts with their religious beliefs or moral convictions.

Lie #7: Churches could lose their tax-exemption status.

Fact: Nothing in Prop 8 would force churches to do anything. In fact, the court decision regarding marriage specifically says “no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.”

Lie #8: Prop 8 doesn’t discriminate against gays.

Fact: Prop 8 is simple: it eliminates the rights for same-sex couples to marry. Prop 8 would deny equal protections and write discrimination against one group of people—lesbian and gay people—into our state constitution.

Now that you know the facts and lies about the "Yes on 8" ads, you may be asking yourself, "Hey, what can I do to help?"

Well of course you can always donate to the "no on 8" campaign, it is a great cause and they are using the money to get the truth out to the public.  But you can do other things as well, such as sending an email to your local TV and radio stations that are airing these negative ads (like KZST is Santa Rosa), and let them know you are not "OK" with the political lies being portrayed in the "Yes on 8" ads.  

For a TV or radio station, the biggest liability issue is for libel or slander if the alleged inaccuracies relate to identifiable people or groups. If the station continues to run a third party ad that is not truthful, and that libels or slanders an identifiable person or group, they could be liable. Normally, someone suing a media outlet for libel about an election related issue has to prove that the outlet had "malice" in running it - which means that they either knew it was false, or broadcast it with reckless disregard of the truth. If someone tells the station that it is false, and provides something to back up that claim, and they continue to run it - that could be construed as reckless disregard, and could then be dealt with by the FCC.

So, you can also use this complaint form to let the FCC know that your tired of the lies and that based on the information above, you want them to pull the ads from both the radio and TV.

Your voices, your emails and your votes can make a difference, so don't give up!


Gender Auditors - Vote No on Prop 8 ad

The Courage Campaign, a California online progressive grassroots activists network of about 100,000 members, recently launched a somewhat humorous "No on 8" ad campaign.  The ad is obviously aimed at straight couples, but still worth checking out....

The Courage Campaign is an online organizing network of almost 100,000 members that empowers grassroots and netroots activists to make this a new era for progressive politics in California.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Coming this fall, Shine Louise Houston's Next Lesbian Film, Champion

Lesbian Erotica/Porn Director, Shine Louise Houston (Crashpad, SuperFreak), has a new movie in the making, Champion.

Shine's new film stars Jessie Eaton (Syd Blakovich), a hotshot jock who can't let go of her ex-girlfriend, Cathy Summers (Jiz Lee) while making her way into women's professional Mixed Martial Arts boxing. Her plans hit a snag when she runs into an old nemesis, Bobby Malone (Javier), who is attempting to block her way to the top. To save her career she must throw a match that would surely be her ticket into the professional arena. Even trickier is her attraction to the women she is suppose to beat, Violet Vahn (Dallas), who is Jessie's toughest opponent inside and outside the ring. It's a big lesson in humility and integrity for Jessie as she juggles her relationships and her career. Will she win or will she lose? What does winning and losing mean?

Although there isn't a release date yet, you can check out the trailer below, and I will keep you updated.

New York Times Interview with Rachel Maddow

The New York times published a "get to know you" type interview last Friday with my favorite lesbian pundit, Rachel Maddow. Since I know I am not the only one who is crushed-out on this brillaint lesbian (and if your not you will be after this article), I felt the need to share it with you.

Inteview by Edward Lewine, New York Times

Rachel Maddow, host of left-leaning chat shows on Air America Radio and MSNBC, both named “The Rachel Maddow Show”, spends downtime in an 1865 house in western Massachusetts.

Biggest misconception about pundits: That we all hang out together. I don’t know any of these people. Maybe all the pundits are hanging out and not inviting me.

Worst thing about job: My self-doubt that this is a worthy thing to contribute to the world. It’s fun, but I worry that it is self-indulgent.

Her 190-mile commute: It’s an opportunity for me to turn my brain off. My apartment in New York is only 275 square feet. So just being able to stretch out is great.

Always on her: A handkerchief. One of my liabilities as a broadcaster is that I am little teary. Having a handkerchief is handy. My partner, Susan Mikula, buys me cute ones.

Worst thing about Obama: He’s measured to a fault. He is so calm and cool and collected that sometimes I want to know what he feels.

Best thing about McCain: He’s very funny.

Morning routine: I arrive in Massachusetts around 2 a.m. Saturday. I wake up so that I can put the trash and recycling together and get it to the dump, which closes at 11 a.m. Me and the dog go to the dump. Then we drive to a sheep farm and I let the dog look at the sheep.

Gadget she can live without: We have no television. Susan wants to buy one, but where we live there’s no cable. So we’d have to put up a satellite dish, and we already have one for the Internet. To have two dishes on the roof would be crazy.

Prized possession: I have a file of letters and bits of ephemera from friends who have died. I have had lots of friends who died of AIDS.

Concession to vanity: I’ve had to get contact lenses. I only put them in while I’m on TV. They are a miracle device that allows me to be on TV without glasses, which everyone tells me I can’t wear on TV.

Favorite movie: “The Manchurian Candidate,” original version.

Always in fridge: Champagne. I always keep a bottle, because you might need to celebrate at any moment, and a bunch of mustard, because I am a mustard person.

Obsession: Loose nukes. I literally lie awake and worry that we haven’t paid attention to some of the real national-security threats that are out there.

Favorite item in house: The house mostly reflects Susan’s style, but I have to put my stamp on things. Once, I found a sculpture of a big, fat squirrel holding a reflector. You’re supposed to put it at the end of your driveway. We have it near the kitchen table; it’s the house mascot.

Obsolete item she won’t part with: I have a little stockpile of lawn mowers, some of which it has been years since they worked. But it seems wrong to get rid of lawn mowers, so I keep them.
Evening routine: Susan cooks dinner; I make drinks. We stay up all night talking or watching movies. Since we don’t have TV, we watch movies on the laptop. I do this whole arcane thing where I get cords and connect the laptop and the speakers to an outlet. It takes 10 minutes.

Clothing item a talk-show host needs: For me, it is sneakers, which I can wear 80 percent of the time, secretly behind the desk. That reminds me who I am, even though I am dressed up like an assistant principal in order to meet the minimum dress code for being on television.

Art collection: Most of the art in our house was made by Susan, who is a great photographer. She makes these wonderful abstract portraits. We also have a lot of other photos, most by people who are our contemporaries.

Fictional character she identifies with: Wally Cleaver. Cause he is a dork.

Favorite Fox News put-down: I don’t talk much about Fox. That’s more Keith Olbermann, but the only time Fox tried to book me on a show — ever — was for me to comment on Madonna and Britney Spears having kissed at an awards ceremony. I declined.

Favorite Republican: I like the congressman and presidential candidate Ron Paul, because I understand what he believes, and he is fearless and civic-minded in his beliefs, rather than personally zealous.

Favorite professional memento: I have clown shoes. They were from the first time I was asked to M.C. something due to being a radio personality.

Worst job: I had a waitressing job that was minimum wage; no tips. I had to wear pantyhose and be there at 6 in the morning.

She drives: I have a seven-year-old Ford pickup. Remember, I have to go to the dump.

By her bed: Comic books. I read comics sometimes and graphic novels. I appreciate that genre.

Last big purchase: I just completed one of the biggest purchases of my life, my new chimney. The chimney was made in the 1860s, and the bricks were turning to dust. The new chimney is beautiful and safe, and it was so much money.

Superstitions: Tons. A handkerchief can never be put in another pocket after it has been in one pocket. I don’t walk under ladders. I have items of clothing that are lucky for me. That rotates, but I am luck-oriented.

Favorite recent gift: A very old friend of mine gave me a fishing pole. I’d done a little fishing as a kid. Now, I have started fishing in the rivers around my house. I have my Massachusetts fishing license in my wallet and my pole in the shed.

Procrastination technique: Cleaning. Writing makes me want to blow my head off. If I have a writing project due, I will clean everything around me as a way of avoiding putting pen to paper.

Hobby: I am a hobbyist bartender. I have a liquor cabinet. I research classic drinks from the golden age of American cocktails and I make them for me and Susan.

Favorite obscure liquor: Rhum agricole. It is rum made from sugar-cane juice rather than molasses. It is freaking awesome.

Favorite place to shop: Not applicable. I don’t shop.

Favorite political memento: Two ashtrays from the Watergate Hotel. I bought them on eBay.

Nagging injury: A hurt shoulder from playing high-school volleyball. I can’t raise my right arm above my head while bearing weight.

Postelection plans: One, I won’t do anything I don’t have to for a while. No speeches. Two, Air America is having a cruise with its hosts. I have to do that, contractually. It is sort of work, but it is a cruise to Belize.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Did you check out Sarah Palin on SNL????

As most of you know I NOT a Sarah Palin fan, however, I have to admit, she really was a good sport for doing her part on SNL the other night. If you didn't get a chance to see the skits, check out the videos below, you will get a chuckle, especially in the second one with Amy Poehler doing the Sarah Palin Rap.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Joe Biden Opposes Prop 8

Democratic running mate Joe Biden will appear on the Ellen DeGeneres' talk show this Monday. During his interview with Ellen, the Senator reportedly takes an unequivocal stand against Proposition 8, the ballot measure looking to overturn California's same-sex marriage win.

Biden also took some time to slam the initiative during an event in West Hollywood last night, according to Variety's website:

"At the event, Biden told IN Los Angeles magazine journalist Karen Ocamb that he opposes Proposition 8, which would ban same-sex marriage in California. He had just finished taping an episode of The Ellen Show that will air Monday, and expressed his opposition to the measure to host Ellen DeGeneres.

At the vice presidential debate with Sarah Palin, Biden said that he opposes same-sex marriage. Obama holds the same position, but also has said he opposes Proposition 8, citing the fact that it would write a restriction into a state constitution.

Biden plead with the crowd gathered at the $500-per-person fund-raiser at the Pacific Design Center to talk to their friends and family and 'make the case for us.'

'There's a great deal at stake, so my plea to you is, we have less than three weeks to go, so this is the time to focus like we never have before.'"

Why Crushes Matter

By Judy Kinney

I think I slid a bit into the “life is serious” myth without knowing it. There is A LOT of that going around, yes? Clearly, this is a perfect time to get my feel-good groove rolling again by diving into my favorite topic. Yes, it’s time to chat about crushes!

Are you wondering if it is prudent to take a break from all the significant events going on to chat about crushes? Please, only take a break from the rest of your life if thinking about a crush puts a smile on your face. That’s right! Crushes are the perfect remedy for anything that puts a frown on your face because they are a direct channel to love. And love, as you know, IS the ultimate power tool (more on that in a couple days).

Seriously, crushes matter because they:

  • allow you to tap into what you like, and what’s possible in your life.
  • perk up your attention, stir up feelings, and get your blood pumping (and you don't even have to lift a finger!).
  • open your heart.
  • are fun, free, and tap your internal innocence.
  • are a perfect antidote to stress.
  • are enough, in and of themselves. As my pal Amy put it recently, "I love crushes because there is no analysis. They just are."

Look, when you're feeling this good, you automatically tell the universe that “I want more of this please!” And, regardless of what is happening anywhere else, the universe will match the energy you express. You’ll tap into your own feel good groove, and who knows what will happen then!

You know what else is great about crushes? You can have them on anyone, and anytime. All that matters is the feeling. Sure, I always have crushes on several people at any moment in time. Right now, my crush short list includes (but is certainly not limited to):

  • Jeannette Maw's Dad, who I've only met through Jeannette’s writing about him.
  • the cutie dyke server at Ghini's restaurant in Tucson.
  • ¼ of all the WNBA players, and at least ½ the NCAA women college basketball coaches.
  • most every lesbian, and gay man I meet over the age of 70.
  • 1-3 women at every Hot Flash Dance I attend
  • Rachel Maddow. . .. political discourse has never been this enjoyable!

Yes, of course I have a crush on my sweetie, DB. Besides being absolutely adorable, she always asks me about who or what I fell in love with today. Yes, the woman who captures my heart must understand that I fall in love or crush a zillion times a day. For me, it is just the best way to experience the world.

Oh sure, I haven't always been able to enjoy my easy way with crushes. I used believe there something was wrong with me or my sweetie when ever I had a crush on someone. Or I’d think I could only have a crush on someone unavailable-like a WNBA player. Then there were times when I thought that I needed to act on my crushes -lest they get away.

Now, I just enjoy my crushes. They are fun and keep me tuned into myself. What a relief it is to enjoy it all.

Ok, are you ready for your turn? Let's see how much fun we can stir up! Who do you have a crush on? How do crushes give your life a lift? Any good crush stories you want to share?

Judy Kinney is a Law of Attraction Coach for lesbian, bi and queer women seeking love like you know it can be. I’m excited to bring my passion for fun, possibilities, romance, and law of attraction together so that you can have the love and relationships you desire. Find her at

What is Prop 5 all about?

With all our focus on the presidential candidates and Proposition 8, some of us might be overlooking a few other important issues that are going to be on the ballot this Novemeber.

One of those important issues is Prop 5. The L.A. Times recently ran an editorial urging California voters to reject Proposition 5, a ballot measure that would severely weaken the state's successful anti-drug diversion programs:

"Under Proposition 5, an addict caught breaking into a home would be exempt from incarceration if his reason was to feed his addiction and if he agreed to treatment. Judges would likewise be unable to jail someone who stole a car, abused a spouse, drove under the influence (and injured someone), possessed an illegal weapon or committed a host of other crimes -- as long as the perpetrator swore that drugs made him do it. Even dealers profiting from others' addictions would be offered diversion. Addicts would get repeated chances at rehab instead of incarceration, no matter how seriously they tried --or didn't -- to kick their habit.

There are two huge problems with that approach. First, it would jeopardize public safety. Second, it doesn't work. Treatment professionals know that addicts need a "moment of clarity" -- a point at which they hit bottom, or close enough to it that they can soberly acknowledge the state they are in and the need for change. Often, that moment comes after the addict skips rehab or fails a drug test and is facing a weekend behind bars.

Not all rehab programs are equal. For hard-core addicts, involuntary programs -- to which they are often sentenced by drug court -- are considerably more effective than voluntary ones.

One of the biggest problems with Proposition 5 is that it would repeatedly cycle addicts through ineffective voluntary programs, which impose few consequences for failure. They're only sent to involuntary treatment (under which they go to jail if they fail a drug test or don't show up) as a last resort, after they've committed a series of crimes. This would cripple the most successful programs in the state.

This isn't the way forward. Voters should reject Proposition 5 and demand that the state's criminal justice system finally get the serious examination it requires -- in Sacramento, where flaws can be worked out, rather than cemented in a well-meaning but ill-considered ballot measure."

-NADCP (NAtional Association of Drug Court Professionals)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

PD Editorial: No on 8 - Reneging on marriage rights makes second-class citizens

I read the following article today in the local paper, The Press Democrat, and I just wanted to say how lucky I feel to live in an area of California where even the local paper recommends a no vote on Proposition 8.

Published: Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Proposition 8 consists of a single sentence: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

But it's hardly simple. Those 14 words would rescind the recently established right of single-sex couples to marry, and they would be fixed in the state constitution.

The same sentence was approved by voters in 2000 as an initiative statute, and it was overturned by the state Supreme Court as a violation of the state constitution's guarantee of equal protection under the law.

We agreed with the Supreme Court's ruling this past May, and we encourage voters to affirm it by voting no on Proposition 8.

It's time to put this issue to rest.

The court ruled that the state constitution does not tolerate a distinction between unions of opposite-sex couples and those of same-sex couples. And we don't believe that voters should, as a matter of equity, fairness and decency, go out of their way to rewrite the constitution to create such a distinction.

Advocates of Proposition 8 offer several arguments, but none of them stand up to close scrutiny.

Supporters say traditional marriage will be undermined, but they struggle to make their case. How exactly will allowing two people to wed threaten the ability of opposite-sex couples to marry? One thing all sides should agree on is that the real threat to the institution of marriage is divorce. We need to get past this issue and focus on doing more to encourage people to stand by their vows.

Supporters also say children deserve two parents. They say churches will be threatened, and schools will be forced to teach alternative lifestyles. Domestic partnership, they argue, is an adequate alternative to marriage.

We agree that children are better off with two loving parents. But many children are in single-parent homes or foster care, and this measure won't change that. Gay and lesbian couples raise children, and allowing them to marry strengthens family bonds just as it does for heterosexual couples.

As for religious objections, nothing requires churches to sanctify same-sex marriages -- or any other marriage for that matter. In fact, there are strong state and federal constitutional protections for religious freedom, as there should be.

State law requires schools to teach respect for marriage and committed relationships, and to ensure instruction is age appropriate. So schools already are required -- as they should be -- to show respect for married couples and other partners, regardless of their sexual orientation.

California in recent years has offered domestic partnerships, but studies have shown that partners aren't always afforded the same treatment as spouses by hospitals, employers or the public at large.

In the state Supreme Court's ruling, Chief Justice Ron George said granting "same-sex couples only a separate and differently named family relationship . . . is likely to cast doubt on whether the official family relationship of same-sex couples enjoys dignity equal to that of opposite-sex couples."

Supporters call that ruling the work of activist judges, but the state Supreme Court did its duty in overturning an unconstitutional law and reaffirming an important principle, that of equal protection.

Marriage is a fundamental right that belongs to same-sex couples just as it belongs to opposite-sex couples. The Press Democrat recommends a no vote on Proposition 8.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Ellen and Portia's Wedding Day Video

Ellen & Portia's wedding was a small, intimate affair but you will feel like you were a part of it after watching this touching video montage, it is well worth the 3 minutes.

The Answer to Everything

by Judith Kinny

What if I told you that the answer to ANY of life's inquiries was found within your reply to the question, "What do I want"?

Yes, I'm suggesting that your desires are the ultimate guide to life - any time, and in any situation. Does this seem radical? Were you taught, like I often was, to think about what others want, what you should want, or that wanting itself, was bad? With so many conflicting messages directed at us, it's easy to understand why identifying what you really want can feel allusive. Are you curious about how following your desires works in real life?

Here's how desire and the Law of Attraction work. Your desires are the ultimate guide to your life because, as you follow your unique wants, you allow your true self to fully emerge. AND, contrary to what is commonly taught, you become more generous and loving as you live the life you want to live.

Look, don't just take my word for it, here's what a few other experts have to say.

If we were standing in your shoes, that would be our dominant quest: Entertaining Yourself, pleasing Yourself, connecting with Yourself, being Yourself, enjoying Yourself, loving Yourself. Some say, "Well, Abraham you teach selfishness. And we say, yes we do,. . .because unless you are selfish enough to reach for that connection, you don't have anything to give anyone, anyway. And when you are selfish enough to make that connection -- you have an enormous gift that you give everywhere you are.
Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in San Antonio, TX, April 21st, 2001

Our dreams carry with them the energy for their achievement;
our fears carry with them the energy of our defeat
Michael Neill Genius Catalyst Inc

My friend, there is no reason to be shy or bashful here! Consider the idea that you're doing "the right thing" when you clarify and act on what you want. This is what having fidelity to your soul is all about.

How would your life shift if you lived according to what you want- as if it couldn't be any other way?

How would your relationships shift if you were faithful to your own ever expanding self, and welcomed your love's fidelity to their soul?

Yes, there are layers and nuances to wanting. For example, I may wish I had a body like Martina Navratilova. Underneath that desire though, I may want women to think I'm hot. And, I may really want women to think I'm hot because I want to be loved.

So, if being loved is my core desire, then I don't really need a body like Martina's. I become free to nourish feeling loved (and hot) in the body I have. I can work out or not as THAT feels good to me! BUT, can you appreciate that it was my desire for a body like Martina's that got me to this level of understanding in the first place?

What do you want? What do you want right now, next month, and 5 years from now?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Cherry Girrl's 10 Best Lesbian Coming Out Moments

In honor of National Coming out day, Cherry Grrl Magazine has come out with the Ten Best Lesbian Coming Out Moments...check them out!

10. Lily Tomlin. On her 1975 album “Modern Scream” Tomlin mocked straight actors who make a point of distancing themselves from their homosexual characters - answering the pseudo-interview question, How did it feel to play a heterosexual? she replied, “I’ve seen these women all my life, I know how they walk, I know how they talk…” Her narration of the documentary The Celluloid Closet in 1995, a film examining Hollywood’s portrayals of homosexuals, was also largely considered a nod to the open secret of her orientation.

9. Suze Orman. In February 2007, financial advisor, writer, and television personality Suze Orman told The New York Times Magazine that she is a lesbian. Always one to be thinking about money, in the interview, Orman said that she wished she could marry her partner, Kathy Travis, partly because it could save them both a lot of money, explaining, “It’s killing me that upon death, K.T. is going to lose 50 percent of everything I have to estate taxes. Or vice versa.”

8. Batwoman. Her character has been around since 1956 but it wasn’t until the modern incarnation of Katherine “Kate” Kane appeared in week seven of the maxi-series 52 in 2006, operating as Batwoman in Gotham City during Batman’s absence following the events of the seven issue miniseries Infinite Crisis, that her sexual identity was revealed by her coming out as a lesbian.

7. K.D. Lang. Lang came out as a lesbian in a 1992 article of The Advocate and one year later made her sexuality even more known by appearing on the cover of the August 1993 issue of Vanity Fair in a barber chair while Cindy Crawford seductively pretended to shave her face.

6. Cynthia Nixon. Although Nixon was publicly “outed” by the New York Post, she never denied her relationship with girlfriend Christine Marinoni, and in an interview in May of 2007 explained her sexuality by stating, “I’m just a woman in love with another woman.”

5. Sheryl Swoopes. In October 2005, Swoopes – who is considered by many to be the best female basketball player ever - publicly announced that she is a lesbian and became one of the most high profile athletes in a team sport to come out publicly.

4. Rosie O’Donnell. Rumors had been circulating for years regarding the popular television personality’s sexual orientation but it was with her January 31, 2002 appearance on Will & Grace when she, in character, exclaimed to Jack “I’m gay!” that she began her coming out process.

3. Melissa Etheridge. Although she has always been known as a strong advocate and icon of the LGBT community, Etheridge came out publicly as a lesbian in January 1993 at the Triangle Ball, a gay and lesbian celebration of President Bill Clinton’s first inauguration.

2. Martina Navratilova. In 1981, shortly after being granted U.S. citizenship, Navratilova came out publicly about her sexual orientation. She may have lost sponsorships because of it but she is still considered to be the greatest female tennis player of all time and an icon in the lesbian community.

1. Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen, who once again makes the number one spot on our Fresh Ten, actually came out twice: she appeared on the April 14, 1997, cover of Time magazine with the headline, “Yep, I’m Gay” and her onscreen character, Ellen Morgan, came out as well during the April 30, 1997, episode of the ABC sitcom Ellen.

Cherry Girrl is an online magazine and lifestyle site dedicated to keeping you up-to-date with the entertainment, news, and cultural information that matters most to the lesbian community

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Rachel Maddow on the Jay Leno Show

Okay, so I have to admit, I have this little crush on Rachel Maddow...and it's not just the sexy, nerd glasses that turn me on, but it's the fact that she is not only brilliant, she is "out," has a strong opinion and is not afraid to share it.

Rachel was on Jay Leno the other night talking politics, Palin and policy...and definitely looking like the hot lesbian she is. Check it out!

No on 8 Campaign fights back

After a week of unanswered advertising lies by the "Yes on Prop 8" campaign, the "No on Prop 8" campaign is finally striking back and calling them on their lies. Check out the lastest ad.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Connecticut Supreme Court legalizes same-sex marriage

By Andrew Ryan and Michael Levenson, Globe Staff

Connecticut became the third state to legalize same-sex marriage today in a 4-3 decision by the state Supreme Court.

In an 85-page decision issued at 11:30 a.m., the court ruled that the state had "failed to establish adequate reason to justify the statutory ban on same sex marriage."

The justices noted in the majority opinion that they recognized "as the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court did in Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health … that 'our decision marks a change in the history of our marriage law.'"

The case, Kerrigan v. the state Commissioner of Public Health, was brought by eight same-sex couples who were denied marriages licenses by the Madison town clerk. They argued that the state's civil union law was discriminatory and unconstitutional because it established a separate and therefore inherently unequal institution for a minority group. Citing the equal protection under the law, the state Supreme Court agreed.

"In accordance with these state constitutional requirements, same sex couples cannot be denied the freedom to marry," says the majority opinion, which was written by Justice Richard N. Palmer.

Connecticut joins California and Massachusetts, which became the first state to allow same-sex marriage 2004.

In a scathing 25-page dissenting opinion, Justice Peter T. Zarella wrote that "there is no fundamental right to same sex marriage."

"The ancient definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman has its basis in biology, not bigotry," Zarella wrote. "If the state no longer has an interest in the regulation of procreation, then that is a decision for the legislature or the people of the state and not this court."

In a dissenting opinion written by Justice David M. Borden and signed by Justice Christine S. Vertefeuille, the judges wrote that, contrary to arguments made by the plaintiffs, Connecticut’s civil union law is not discriminatory.

“The development of the law in this state dealing with sexual orientation demonstrates that the legislature had no intention, in passing the civil union statute, to encourage discrimination against or to stigmatize homosexuals,” the judges wrote. “On the contrary, that history supports the conclusion that the legislature has been working toward the eventual passage of a gay marriage bill, and that the civil union statute was an important step in that process.”

In 2005, Connecticut became the first state to establish civil unions without a court order, but that measure did not end the same-sex marriage debate. The eight gay couples who were denied licenses sued the state Department of Public Health, which oversees marriage registrations.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

GLBT History Month

In the 1990’s, teachers and community organizations determined that a month should be designated for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) history. They chose October because public schools are in session and traditions, such as National Coming Out Day, occur in the same month.

GLBT History Month celebrates and highlights the achievements of GLBT people, with a special focus on one person each day. The 31 Icons, living or dead, are selected for their achievements in their field of endeavor, their status as a national hero, or their significant contribution to GLBT civil rights. Equality Forum solicits nominations from state, national and international organizations and leaders.

Here are this years 31 Icons and their achievements. (For videos, bios, bibliography, images and other resources on these Icons, visit

  1. Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon - Gay rights advocates and longtime partners. Martin and Lyon were legally married in California just months before Martin passed away in August.
  2. Stephen Sondheim - Tony, Oscar, and Pulitzer Prize-winning Broadway composer and lyricist. His works include A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and Sweeney Todd.
  3. Gianni Versace - Trendsetting fashion designer who designed for the jet set before his murder in 1997.
  4. Sheila Kuehl - In 1994, Kuehl became the first openly gay person elected to the California legislature. In her youth Kuehl played the role of Zelda in the TV sitcom The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis.
  5. Tennessee Williams - Tortured playwright who wrote unforgettable works like Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and A Streetcar Named Desire.
  6. Alice Walker - Author and feminist who won a Pulitzer for her groundbreaking book The Color Purple.
  7. Greg Louganis - Olympic diver who took home the gold at the '84 Olympics in Los Angeles and the '88 games in Seoul.
  8. Bertrand DelanoĆ« -  This Paris mayor has a reputation for honesty as he backs environmental and LGBT causes in the City of Lights.
  9. Margaret Mead - American cultural anthropologist who remains a legacy in feminist history. Her views helped to advance the sexual revolution of the 1960s. 
  10. Mark Bingham - Hero of 9/11; Bingham was one of the brave fliers believed to have overpowered the hijackers on United Flight 93 and saved the U.S. Capitol from being attacked.

  11. Cleve Jones - An intern for Harvey Milk, Jones founded the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and is best known for the creation of the AIDS Memorial Quilt.
  12. Jann Wenner - Editor of the influential Rolling Stone magazine, which has been publishing for over 40 years.
  13. Harvey Fierstein - This gravelly voiced actor wrote and starred in the play and film Torch Song Trilogy. Fierstein also wrote the book to the much-loved musical La Cage aux Folles.
  14. Margarethe Cammermeyer - A colonel in the Washington National Guard who became a gay rights activist after being discharged from the military for being gay.
  15. Anthony Romero - Powerful executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union.
  16. Melissa Etheridge - Platinum-selling, Grammy- and Oscar-winning musician whose hits include "I'm the Only One" and "Come to My Window."
  17.  Gene Robinson - Bishop of the diocese of New Hampshire in the Episcopal Church. Robinson was the first openly gay, noncelibate priest to be ordained a bishop in a major Christian denomination.
  18. John Waters - Cult film director whose movies, like Pink Flamingos and Girl Trouble, are legendary.
  19. Robert Mapplethorpe - Photographer best known for his sexy works X Portfolio, Y Portfolio, and Z Portfolio.
  20. Georgina Beyer - First openly transgender member of New Zealand's parliament.
  21. Tony Kushner - Pulitzer- and Tony-winning writer of Angels in America, an epic play about AIDS in the 1980s.
  22. Rosie O'Donnell - Outspoken comedian and actress who anchored her own talk show and starred in A League of Their Own and Sleepless in Seattle.
  23. Philip Johnson - Provocative architect who came out in 1994, when his biography was released. Johnson is the founding director of the Department of Architecture at the Museum of Modern Art in New York.
  24. E.M. Forster - English author who explored sexuality and class differences in novels such as Maurice and Howard's End.
  25. Randy Shilts - San Francisco journalist and author who wrote The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk and And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic.
  26.  Allen Ginsberg - Credited with coining the term "Flower Power," this poet and songwriter is best known for his book Howl and Other Poems.
  27.  Troy Perry - Reverend Elder Dr. Troy D. Perry founded the gay-friendly Metropolitan Community Church, which has grown to over 300 congregations in 16 countries.
  28. Bill T. Jones - Dancer and choreographer who worked with his partner of 17 years to create such moving performances as Still/Here, dealing with HIV/AIDS.
  29. Andy Warhol - One of the most influential artists of our time, Warhol created the movement known as Pop Art.
  30. Rachel Carson - Best-selling author and influential marine biologist whose research prompted the government and everyday Americans to become conscious of environmental issues.
  31. Michelangelo - Italian Renaissance artist best known for his sculpture David and his artwork on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. 

The LGBT History Month Co-Chairs - Professor Sharon Ullman of the History Department at Bryn Mawr College and Professor Kenji Yoshino of New York University School of Law - review all nominations and recommend 31 Icons. Once the icons have been chosen, beginning October 1, 2008, a new LGBT Icon video is presented daily. Each day visitors to the site have access to the current Icon and his or her bio and resources, along with all the preceding Icons.

Lesbians and Breast Cancer

October is Breast Cancer awareness month and since some researchers and health care professionals believe that lesbians may be at greater risk for breast cancer then heterosexual women, I thought it would be appropriate to get some facts out to the lesbian community.

First of all, let me start by saying that just because your a lesbian does not mean that you are automatically at a higher risk for breast cancer. However, having one or more of the risk factors below might put you in that catagory. A lesbian without the risk factors is at no greater risk than a heterosexual woman for breast cancer.

Breast Cancer Risk Factors include:

  • Family History
    Women whose mothers, grandmothers or sisters have had breast cancer are two to three times more likely to develop breast cancer. However, 85% of women with breast cancer have no family history of the disease.
  • First childbirth
    The risks are higher among women who have never had (and breastfed) a baby or whose first childbirth occurred after the age of thirty. The risk is reduced by as much as 50 percent for women who have had one child.
  • Menstrual history
    Early first period (before age 11) and late menopause (after age 52) both increase risk.
  • Diet
    High-fat, low-fiber diet increases the risk of Breast Cancer. The risk also increases with women who are overweight. (Nearly 30 percent of lesbians are obese, compared to 20 percent for women overall.)
  • Age
    Risk increases with age. This disease is rare in women under the age of thirty. Women over fifty make up 77% of breast cancer cases.
  • Alcohol
    Women who consume two to five alcoholic drinks a day have a higher risk of breast cancer than do non-drinkers. (Research has not shown that lesbians drink more than the general population, however, they do have a greater history of problems with alcohol.)
  • Smoking
    Research has shown that women who smoke have a 30% higher risk of developing breast cancer compared with women who have never smoked. Research has also shown that 25% of lesbians said they were smokers compared to 19% of heterosexual women in a 2007 Harris Interactive survey.
  • Genetic Alterations
    Specific alterations in certain genes, such as those in the breast cancer genes (BRCA1 or BRCA2), make women more susceptible to breast cancer.
  • Hormone Replacement Therapy
    Recent evidence suggests that menopausal women who have long-term exposure (greater than 10 years) to hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may have a slightly increased risk of breast cancer.
  • Socioeconomic Factors
    In the United States, white women from upper-socioeconomic classes living in urban areas are more at risk for breast cancer than other women, for reasons researchers do not yet understand.
  • Environmental Factors
    Research has not yet proven whether there are breast cancer risk risks involved in a number of environmental exposures, including radiation, UV rays in sunlight, artificial sweeteners, pesticides and electromagnetic fields that surround electronic devices like microwave ovens and cell phones.
  • Health Care
    Another issue that lead researchers to believe that Lesbians are at a higher risk is due to the fact that lesbians are less likely to seek routine health care because of the discomfort of coming out to their health care providers and less access to health insurance. With fewer doctor visits, lesbian are less likely to have mammograms and professional breast exams. Studies also show that lesbian women are less likely to perform breast self-exam regularly. For these reasons, lesbians women may be less likely to have cancers detected at earlier, more treatable, stages.

How to reduce your risk for breast cancer:

  • Keep your diet low in fat.

  • Quit smoking - For help with quitting, visit

  • Keep your alcohol consumption light.
  • Learn how to do breast self-exam and do it every month (click here for instructions). And if you don't feel comfortable doing it yourself, you can always ask your partner to do it for you. Doing a self-breast exam accounts for 90% of all lump detection and will pick up 40% of early cancers NOT seen on mammograms.

  • Have a health care provider examine your breasts every year and answer any questions you have.

  • If you have no risk factors for breast cancer, get a baseline mammogram when you're 40. Then every 1-2 years after that -- assuming everything is fine -- until you are 50. After 50 get a mammogram every year.

The Safeguard Project
King County Public Health Services

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The 24 Things You Never Knew About Single Lesbians

I found this article on and although I am not sure it is completely accurate, it does represent a portion of lesbians and it is quite entertaining to read,  so enjoy...

Let us examine that rare and exotic creature — the single lesbian. According to popular belief, lesbian couples shack up immediately after reaching their first orgasms together. This old stereotype has some basis in truth.

Back in the olden days, you might walk into your local bar and see the same three women sitting on the same three bar stools every week. With such slim pickings, what are you gonna do?

Luckily, all this has changed. The dyke dating pool has grown by leaps and bounds. Scientifically speaking, it is said that lesbians generally engage in serial monogamy, with periods of serial single-osity in between. This means that sexy single lezzers are everywhere, lesbian chic has never been chic-er!

Our informal research has uncovered many fun and surprising facts about today's single lesbian. We have discovered that single lesbians…

  1. Concoct the sexiest user names for their free profile.
  2. Are very politically active. Meetings, rallies, community events — they're always running things.
  3. Work out at the gym frequently, wearing body-conscious clothing.
  4. Are likely to decorate their cars with rainbow accessories and off-color bumper stickers.
  5. Spend their summers playing in five different softball leagues.
  6. Cruise the WNBA games — Dyke Central!
  7. Have occasional or frequent one night stands, sometimes with the ex.
  8. Hit the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival or the Dinah Shore Classic with a carload of pals — and look for the first opportunity to ditch them!
  9. Spend countless hours engaged in a quick search to find the perfect date.
  10. Hang out at organic food stores. A high percentage of vegetarian lezzers makes the food coop the perfect place to meet unattached women.
  11. Keep their wardrobes up to date. They're well put together and hot.
  12. Sport lots of attractive tattoos and piercings. They get a new one each time they break up with someone.
  13. Go to bars and clubs alone. They're more approachable that way.
  14. Have a higher sex drive than married lesbians.
  15. Frequent the magic store to stock up on "Call Me" incense and "Domination" floor wash.
  16. Meet girls via their pets. The local dog run is always chock full of gays and lesbians. The single lesbian's favorite dog breeds are the pit bull and the Jack Russell terrier.
  17. Always wear cute underwear, just in case.
  18. Sleep with more cats than women. The average ratio is seven feline bed partners to every one human.
  19. Often participate in fandom for such dykons as Angelina Jolie or that woman from ER.
  20. Socialize more during June, Gay Pride month, than any other time of the year. Pride events bring non-stop dating opportunities.
  21. Have extensive music and video collections. The perfect pretense for inviting someone over.
  22. Love to workshop their writing, their acting, their genitals, whatever! If you do a workshop, they will come.
  23. Frequently have new photos taken for their free profile.
  24. Know they don't have to settle for just anyone. Today's single dyke can afford to be as choosy as she wants to be.

Written by Dany Johnson,

Monday, October 6, 2008

Transgender & Gender Queer 101

Article from


Transgender is the common umbrella term for people who transgress gender norms or cross society's idea of gender lines. Transgender folks can identify their sexual orientation as heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Transgender is about gender identity and gender expression not sexual orientation.

Gender- Self-expression, performance, actions, behavior, dress, grooming of culturally prescribed norms based on binary of male and female.

Gender Identity - Inner sense of ‘being’ male or female, both, or neither, includes sense of self and one’s image presented to the world. Self-identification.

Gender Binary System - Culturally defined code of acceptable behavior only for 2 gender system of male/female. Men/boys are to exhibit masculine gender presentation, behaviors, and social roles. Women/girls are to exhibit feminine gender presentation, behaviors, and social roles.

Assigned Sex/Gender -Based on physical anatomy of genitalia.

The Transgender community includes, but not limited to the following labels and identities:


MTF (male to female) transsexual woman- person born/ Assigned Gender at birth as male/boy transitions to live and identify full time as female/woman

FTM (female to male) transsexual man- person born/ Assigned Gender at birth as female/girl transitions to live and identify full time as male/man

Live Full Time- to live and identify in the gender they have transitioned to or self identify as, may or may not use medical intervention such as hormones or sex reassignment surgery (SRS) depending on financial ability, health, and access, but does do a socail transistion and identify and live as the “opposite” the gender they were born. Social transistion can include changing name (legally or through common usage), dressing in clothing of gender they identify with and using pronouns of gender they identify with. Sexual orientation may or may not change with the person’s transition and transsexuals can be heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Other identities under the Transgender umbrella:

Cross Dresser- person who wears clothing opposite their assigned gender, usually not all the time. Does not identify as the opposite gender identity. Example, men who wear what we consider to be women's clothing and women who wear traditionally male attire.
* Why cross-dress? This varies and can include playfulness (i.e., performance), sexual pleasure, or feelings of comfort and relaxation. Some describe feelings of relief when cross-dressed as the pressures associated with their gender role are shed with the clothing. identify as cross-dressers may question their gender role or gender expression (how they are "supposed" to appear or act), but not their gender identity. They generally do not want to live as the opposite gender; in other words, most male cross-dressers identify as male, are comfortable being male, and do not want to change that.
* Adapted from Making Women's Shelters Accessible to Transgendered Women Allison Cope & Julie Darke October 1999

Drag Queen- person, sometimes gay men, impersonating famous females, usually for performance also called female illusionists.

Drag King- person, sometimes lesbians, impersonating famous males, usually for performance

*GENDER NON-CONFORMING PEOPLE “Gender non-conforming” refers to people whose gender expressions do not match stereotypes of how girls/women or boys/men are “supposed to” look and act. In reality, most people in general don’t meet all gender expectations and stereotypes either; almost nobody is perfectly masculine or perfectly feminine. The reason gender nonconforming people are included in the list of transgender people is that there are some people who identify as transgender, but are not transitioning gender, and do not consider themselves cross-dressers, androgynous, or genderqueer.


GenderQueer term started to come into use in approximately the late 1990’s. It has been associated with primarily youth communities and those who are white and where born female and are now along the masculine spectrum, but there are many folks along the age and race/ethnic spectrum that use it to describe themselves and also those who where born male and are along the feminine spectrum. Has also been written as Gender Queer or Genderqueer.

Current working definition:

GenderQueer: those who identify their gender outside the gender binary system of male and female, maybe fluid with gender presentation or not conform to gender stereotypes and may use gender neutral pronouns such as “sie, hir, hir, hirs, hirself” or "zie, zir, zir, zirs, zirself" or choose to use the pronoun closest to the end of the masculine or feminine spectrum they are presenting. Some may do some or all of medical transition or none at all. Some may change their birth name. It is also used by some to describe both their gender identity and their sexuality as queer.

Other terms that gender non-conforming or those who have gender identities outside the binary gender system are boy dyke, dyke boy, boi, and by some youth in communities of color are femme queens, butch boi, or drags.

Intersex (is not a transgender identity)
*intersexuality is a set of medical conditions that features "congenital anomaly of the reproductive and sexual system." That is, a person with an intersex condition is born with sex chromosomes, external genitalia, or an internal reproductive system that is not considered "standard" for either male or female.
*Adapted from “Introduction to intersex activism” from Intersex Society of North America

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Queer Families = Healthy Families: LGBT Parenting Conference

Saturday, October 11th
9:00 AM - 5:30 PM

San Francisco LGBT Community Center
1800 Market Street @ Octavia Blvd
San Francisco

Conference Key Features 
  • Welcome address by Assemblyman Mark Leno
  • Keynote Speaker Charlotte Patterson, Ph.D., premier researcher on LGBT families
  • Lunch Panel on “Queer Families: Past, Present and Future” including Shannon Minter,NCLR Chief Legal Counsel for the Marriage lawsuit at the State Supreme Court
  • Screening of “It’s STILL Elementary,” a film by GroundSpark and Debra Chasnoff, Academy Award winner and producer of “It's Elementary”
  • Break-out Workshops on Cutting Edge Topics (details below)

Registration Information 
  • Online:
  • $125 at the door
  • $115 current Gaylesta members
  • Scholarships available for students and low income community members.
  • Continental breakfast and box lunch provided
  • Childcare provided (reserve in advance)

CEU Credit Information -
6 CEUs available for MFTs, LCSWs and Psychologists - PhD accreditation pending

Online conference information:

AM Workshops 11:00 AM - 12:15 PM

Alternative Dispute Resolution in LGBT Divorce: The Legal, Social, and Psychological Dynamics of Separation in the LGBT Community
Presenters: Nina Raff, LCSW and Paul Thorndal, Esq.
Explores the legal, social, and psychological dynamics of divorce in the LGBT community, and the role of various forms of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) available to address those dynamics.

Attachment Issues in Adoption with Same Gendered Parents.
Presenter: Regina Marshall, PhD
Explores the impact adoption has on the parent/child dyad, the couple and the family through the lens of attachment theory.

The Bisexual Parent
Presenters: Chris Weipert, MFT and Annie Schussler, MFT
Explores the complexities of integrating one's bisexual identity with the role of being a parent. We will look at the intersection of these identities from both personal and clinical perspectives.

Conceiving Children: A Panel of Experts Discusses Assisted Insemination.
Presenters: Alice Ruby, MPH, MPPM (The Sperm Bank of California), Katherine Hsiao, MD (Lesbian Health Research Center, UCSF), Kristin Kali, LM CPM (Maia Midwifery), Sherron Mills, NP (Pacific Reproductive Services)
Will present information on choosing and interacting with sperm banks, negotiating known donor relationships, single parenting, fertility awareness and insemination strategizing and fertility challenges.

Respecting the Soul: LGBTQ African American Kinship and Mental Health
Presenter: Erica Britton, PsyD
Includes the history of African American lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer folks in the Bay Area, the history of African American LGBTQ folks in general, intra-cultural attitudes/beliefs, research findings, and assessment/intervention with the African American Queer family.

Trans Parenting: Clearing the Path to Coming Out
Presenters: Lisette R. Lahana, LCSW and Rachel Hollowgrass
Explores how transgendered and transsexual parents can give kids information based on their maturity level, the transition timeline as well as family, cultural and religious norms.

PM Workshops 2:15 PM - 3:30

After the Rainbow: Couples Issues for Queer Parents
Presenter: Betsy Kassoff, PhD
Explores how the variables of biological and non-biological parenting status, gender transitions, gender “deviations” on the part of either children or parents, trans-racial adoption, nontraditional divorce, relationships of donors and other issues of queer parents affect their intimate relationships.

Family Formation Panel
Presenters: Charles Spiegel, Esq, Martha Rynberg (PACT), Charles Lerner (Family Builders), and Michelle Nobriga (law offices of Adams and Romer)
An overview of the some of most common adoption options available to the LGBT community (private, agency and fost/adopt) as well as a look at some of the issues and challenges of adoption, especially in creating transracial families.

School Advocacy Panel
Presenters: Aimee Fisher (Our Family Coalition) and Christy Chung (GroundSpark) "You're a sissy!"
"That's so gay!" Many students hear anti-gay taunts and are teased on a regular basis for not conforming to gender stereotypes or for having same-sex parents. It is critical to know how to work with your children and the adults in their school to address these incidents when they happen, and more importantly, prevent them from happening in the first place.

Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster: Assisting Queer Women Through Insemination
Presenters: Laura Goldberger, MFT and Kristin Kali, LM CPM (Maia Midwifery)
Delves into the emotional and relational issues for lesbians, bisexual, transgender, and other queer individuals during this highly stressful process: partner issues, gender issues, financial and emotional challenges, fertility concerns and other stressors.

Yours, Mine and Ours - Co-Parenting and Blended Family Systems
Presenter: Cheryl Deaner, MFT
Families of focus in this workshop include those who generally do not fit the “two parents living together” model. Healthy communication and good boundaries between parental systems will be discussed along with the challenges of different parenting styles.

For more information contact Dino DiDonato, (415) 431-4366 or

Conference Sponsoring Organizations:
Gaylesta the LGBTQ Psychotherapists Association, The San Francisco LGBT Community Center and Our Family Coalition Conference Co-Sponsors: New Leaf Services for Our Community, National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE); Banner Sponsor and Luncheon Host: RBC Wealth Management; Sponsors for Keynote Speaker: Ambassador James Hormel and The Orchard Garden Hotel

Friday, October 3, 2008

Pete Wentz and Fall Out Boy donate $50K to Fight Calif. Marriage Ban

The Advocate reports that Pete Wentz and his Fall Out Boy band mates have donated $50,000 to No on 8, the effort to defeat California's Proposition 8, a measure on the November ballot that would amend the state constitution to rescind marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples, joining the likes of Brad Pitt and Stephen Speilberg.

"We believe government shouldn't legislate love. Vote no on Proposition 8," the band said in a statement.

The donation comes on the heels of various blog entries and quotes from Wentz suggesting his frustration over the attempt to ban same-sex marriage. Last week Wentz took to his blog to unveil plans for the band’s new single -- and took a moment to talk about Proposition 8.

"There are a lot of causes out there -- a lot of 'good' fights to be fought," Wentz wrote. "I think Proposition 8 is pretty lame -- as many others do too. It's fucking lame."

Earlier this year, on the heels of his wedding to Ashlee Simpson, Wentz reached out to Out magazine’s Popnography blog to share his happy news -- and again took a moment to voice his support for same-sex marriage.

"I am happy to get married in the same state where the state supreme court recognizes the union of gay/lesbian couples,” he wrote in an e-mail. “It seems like we could have a hell of a bash as a joint anniversary over in West Hollywood next year!"

The donation comes after gay Ohio entrepreneur Jonathan Lewis issued a statement promising to match the next $500,000 raised by entertainers to fight Prop. 8.


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