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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The 24 Things You Never Knew About Single Lesbians

I found this article on and although I am not sure it is completely accurate, it does represent a portion of lesbians and it is quite entertaining to read,  so enjoy...

Let us examine that rare and exotic creature — the single lesbian. According to popular belief, lesbian couples shack up immediately after reaching their first orgasms together. This old stereotype has some basis in truth.

Back in the olden days, you might walk into your local bar and see the same three women sitting on the same three bar stools every week. With such slim pickings, what are you gonna do?

Luckily, all this has changed. The dyke dating pool has grown by leaps and bounds. Scientifically speaking, it is said that lesbians generally engage in serial monogamy, with periods of serial single-osity in between. This means that sexy single lezzers are everywhere, lesbian chic has never been chic-er!

Our informal research has uncovered many fun and surprising facts about today's single lesbian. We have discovered that single lesbians…

  1. Concoct the sexiest user names for their free profile.
  2. Are very politically active. Meetings, rallies, community events — they're always running things.
  3. Work out at the gym frequently, wearing body-conscious clothing.
  4. Are likely to decorate their cars with rainbow accessories and off-color bumper stickers.
  5. Spend their summers playing in five different softball leagues.
  6. Cruise the WNBA games — Dyke Central!
  7. Have occasional or frequent one night stands, sometimes with the ex.
  8. Hit the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival or the Dinah Shore Classic with a carload of pals — and look for the first opportunity to ditch them!
  9. Spend countless hours engaged in a quick search to find the perfect date.
  10. Hang out at organic food stores. A high percentage of vegetarian lezzers makes the food coop the perfect place to meet unattached women.
  11. Keep their wardrobes up to date. They're well put together and hot.
  12. Sport lots of attractive tattoos and piercings. They get a new one each time they break up with someone.
  13. Go to bars and clubs alone. They're more approachable that way.
  14. Have a higher sex drive than married lesbians.
  15. Frequent the magic store to stock up on "Call Me" incense and "Domination" floor wash.
  16. Meet girls via their pets. The local dog run is always chock full of gays and lesbians. The single lesbian's favorite dog breeds are the pit bull and the Jack Russell terrier.
  17. Always wear cute underwear, just in case.
  18. Sleep with more cats than women. The average ratio is seven feline bed partners to every one human.
  19. Often participate in fandom for such dykons as Angelina Jolie or that woman from ER.
  20. Socialize more during June, Gay Pride month, than any other time of the year. Pride events bring non-stop dating opportunities.
  21. Have extensive music and video collections. The perfect pretense for inviting someone over.
  22. Love to workshop their writing, their acting, their genitals, whatever! If you do a workshop, they will come.
  23. Frequently have new photos taken for their free profile.
  24. Know they don't have to settle for just anyone. Today's single dyke can afford to be as choosy as she wants to be.

Written by Dany Johnson,


Anonymous said...

I agree!

coachsappho said...

i loved the 'light hearted' article - as we know some of the list is true, but i find that single lesbians are even MORE interesting and varied than this list suggests. also - too - on the con side - what i didn't like about the article is it's narrow stereotyping AND the fact that it just doesn't take lesbian love as serious...err, maybe casting us again as silly and childish. most lesbians need more 'mature' images of great lesbian relationships, if we expect them to achieve that too.

riverdiva said...

woe to the writer who tries to sum up the single lesbian in a list of only 24 things! Some are true and many are missing....they are theater buffs, foodies who enjoy wine tasting and dinner parties, great cooks or if they aren't make sure they surround themselves with cooks!! Mostly they defy definition. And that's the #1 thing to know.

Judy said...

OMGosh! I had a great laugh w/ #9 Spend "countless hours" engaged in a "quick search" to find the perfect date. (" " are mine-because, yes, I've done THAT!)

I love how absolutely impossible it is to EVER fit our fine selves in a single list- of any length!

Still, I'm compelled to say, thank you I've had a blast spreading my fab dating/love wings via assorted "meet and greet" dates, and lots of new friends spread out across the country.

Cheers! Here's to your ever evolving love...


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