Young Man Raised by 2 Lesbians and this is what they got...

Recent Report Shows Children of Lesbian Parents Have Fewer Behavior Problems

Based on a a long-running study that began in 1986, Pediatrics recently reported that children raised by lesbian parents scored higher in psychological adjustment in areas of competency and lower in problem behaviors than the normative age-matched sample of kids raised in traditional families with a mom and a dad," says researcher Nanette Gartrell, MD, the Williams distinguished scholar at the University of California Los Angeles School of Law.

Click here to read the full story at CNN's website.

The Ex-Lesbian Child Custody Case Continues...

If you have been hearing bits and pieces about the "ex-lesbian" child custody case between Lisa Miller and Janet Jenkins and have been wondering what the details are, here is a "Reader's Digest" version (Short and sweet) of the events up until now.

The photo to the left is of Janet Jenkins (left), Lisa Miller (Pre-Ex Gay evangelical Christian), and their child Isabella (middle).

Janet Jenkins and Lisa Miller were loving partners and married in a
civil ceremony in Vermont in 2000. In 2002, Isabella, their daughter, was conceived by Miller through artificial insemination. In 2003, Miller ended her partnership with Janet, taking their child with her to Virginia. She then became an evangelical Christian and renounced lesbianism, refusing Jenkins visitation rights, although still demanding child support.

The Virginia and Vermont courts have repeatedly chosen to treat this case as with any other custody battle, despite the fact that Virginia does not recognize same sex "marriage" or "civil unions."

Even though the courts had awarded Janet Jenkins visitation rights, Miller repeatedly failed to allow Jenkins to visit with Isabella, and appealed the decision. After losing several appeals, she continued to disobey the order, and a judge found Miller in contempt of court on November 20, 2009, awarding Jenkins sole legal custody of Isabella.

The child was to be handed over to Janet Jenkins on January 1, 2010, but Miller failed to show up. Miller had reportedly ceased contact with her attorneys as of November 20th when the court order to turn over Isabel to Jenkins was announced.

Jenkins' attorney said, “She's very disappointed, obviously. She's very concerned about Isabella and asks that if anybody sees Isabella, that they please contact the authorities.”

Miller now faces possible criminal charges. Miller's last known address was in Forest, Virginia. It's unclear at this time whether or not police will search for Miller and Isabella, although a warrant for her arrest will likely be issued in Vermont for contempt of court.

Tennessee Court Allows Lesbian Mom to have Custody of Child

The Tennessee Court of Appeals has reversed a judge who ruled a lesbian mother can't have custody of her daughter if she has a live-in partner.

The court returned the case to the 28th Judicial District in West Tennessee for a rehearing, The Nashville Tennessean reported Tuesday.

Angel Chandler and her former husband, Joseph Barker, had agreed to an arrangement in which Barker and his new wife had custody of their son, 16, while Chandler had custody of their daughter. But in May, Chancellor George Ellis refused to give his approval, invoking the "paramour provision" that requires single custodial parents to agree not to have overnight sexual partners.

The appellate court found that a child's best interests override the law, while a court-appointed expert said the daughter would be happiest with her mother, who has been in a relationship for the past 10 years.

"I'm so grateful that the judges understood it was a mistake to treat my partner like she was some sort of stranger to me and my children," Chandler said through the American Civil Liberties Union of Tennessee.

New Bay Area LGBT Parents Networking Group

If you happen to live in the Bay Area and your an LGBT parent, then you may be interested in knowing that Betty's List has put together a new social networking group for LGBT families called Parents Are Social Too!

Note from Adrienne Miller, Co-Chair...
We're a group of vibrant parents who want to create a fun venue for like-minded folk in the LGBT community.

You are invited to join our group using our page on Meetup.com:
http://www.meetup.com/Bettys-List-Parents-Are-Social-Too/

We're planning events for parents and their kids to be hosted throughout the Bay Area usually, on the 3rd Saturday of every month.

Current Calendar of Events includes the following:

• Saturday, September 19th - Brunch & Walk around Bolinas Beach. (Marin Coast)
  
  
• Saturday, October 17th - "Geocaching" - A Modern Day Treasure Hunt - Follow the clues to the hidden treasure. (Presidio/ Sausalito)
  
  
• November 14th - Point Bonita Lighthouse Tour, Hike & Picnic at Battery Wallace Park - (Marin Headlands)

• December 5th - MOTOWN MADNESS - For Singles and their Friends! (TBA - Adult Only Event)

For more information, visit this new group's Meetup site and join if you are interested:
http://www.meetup.com/Bettys-List-Parents-Are-Social-Too/

Lesbian Couples Given Equal Birth Rights in the UK

BBC news just announced that women in same-sex relationships can now register both their names on the birth certificate of a child conceived as a result of fertility treatment.

Female couples not in a civil partnership but receiving fertility treatment may also both be registered.

The law change applies to female couples in England and Wales who were having fertility treatment on or after 6 April 2009.

However critics say the change would be detrimental to family values.

Previously, the mother's female partner could not be registered as a parent.
in
But the change in the law confers legal parenthood on the mother's female partner.

According to the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority, there were 728 lesbians who underwent invitro fertilization (IVF) between 1999 and 2006.

And in the same period, there were 5,211 lesbian females who received donor insemination (DI) treatment.
“ Now lesbian couples in the UK who make a considered decision to start a loving family will finally be afforded equal access to services they help fund as taxpayers ”
Ruth Hunt, Stonewall

The changes to the Registration of Births and Deaths Regulations 1987 were approved by Registrar General James Hall earlier this year, following Royal Assent for new parenthood provisions contained in the Human Fertilization and Embryology Act 2008.

A spokeswoman for the Home Office said that there will be provision for a birth certificate to be used that will have two "parent" sections, rather than mother and father.

Also, sperm donors will continue to be able to opt in or out of having their name on the birth certificate, but if both mothers wish to have their name on the document, the donor cannot be registered in that way.

'Fair treatment'

Home Office Minister Lord Brett said: "This positive change means that, for the first time, female couples who have a child using fertility treatment have the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts to be shown as parents in the birth registration.

"It is vital that we afford equality wherever we can in society, especially as family circumstances continue to change. This is an important step forward in that process."

Conservative MP Nadine Dorries told the BBC that the move undermined the traditional family model.

She said: "If we want to build a stable society, a mother and father and children works as the best model.

"We should be striving towards repairing and reinforcing marriage. I think this move sends out the exact opposite message."

'Legal fiction'

Dr Peter Saunders, of the Christian Medical Fellowship, criticised the move, telling the Daily Mail that the change would "create a legal fiction around the parentage of the children" which would then result in a "legal minefield" when it came to issues of maintenance and inheritance.

He was supported by Labour MP Geraldine Smith, who said: 'To have a birth certificate with two mothers and no father is just madness."

Stonewall's Head of Policy and Research Ruth Hunt said that as a result of the law change, life for lesbian families "isn't only fairer, it's also much easier".

She added: "As the law improves to provide further equality, knowing your new rights will help people make full use of the services they're entitled to. And, if discrimination occurs, the same knowledge can help them demand fair treatment.

"Now lesbian couples in the UK who make a considered decision to start a loving family will finally be afforded equal access to services they help fund as taxpayers."

Story from BBC NEWS

Lesbian comedian Wanda Sykes becomes mother of twins!

A big congratulations goes out to comedian Wanda Sykes and her wife Alex, who welcomed healthy twins last month.

Alex gave birth to Olivia Lou and Lucas Claude on April 27th. Olivia Lou weighed in at 6 lbs., 7 oz., and was 19-inches long. Lucas Claude weighed in at 7 lbs., 9 oz., and was 20-inches long. "All are happy and healthy and at home," says Sykes's rep Danica Smith.

Sykes, who stars in "The New Adventures of Old Christine," and her wife were married on Oct. 25, 2008, just a few weeks before California voters passed Proposition 8.

Lesbian Parent's Attacked at Child's School

Last week in Toronto Canada, a lesbian couple was physically attacked by another parent outside of their children's elementary school.

The local news reported, "Ms. Dimitriou, 30, and her lesbian partner Jane Currie, 37, said Friday they still can’t believe what happened. 'He [Mark Scott] clocked me right in the face, like right in the side of my face, and I hit my truck and I couldn’t see anything, like I blacked out,' Ms. Dimitriou said. 'I was awake but I could hear everything but I just couldn't see anything. Then I think he clocked me again right in the top of my head.'

Anji Dimitriou said she was helping her son put his backpack into the car when another child’s father came toward her and began yelling, "which of you two men spoke to my kid? Fucking dyke lesbians." Then "out of nowhere" he spit in her face and punched her."

Jane Currie saw what was happening to her partner and rushed over. “I had said to him, ‘you asshole what are you doing? You just beat a woman’ (then) bang I got it” she said.

To make matters worse, the attack occurred in front of the couple's three children, the attacker's children, and other kids at a school.

“Kids were screaming. Little kids. It happened right where kids go to get on the school bus. They were so afraid,” Jane said as she began to cry. “You try and explain that to your kids. They’re petrified. So scared they can’t sleep at night.”

Durham Regional Police Sgt. Paul McCurbin said Mark Scott, 43, of Oshawa faces two charges of assault causing bodily harm in connection with the incident.

School officials said a “no trespass” order has also been issued by the school.

Source:
Ontario News
newdurhamregion.com

300 Leading California Pediatricians Oppose Prop 8

The NO on Prop 8 campaign recently released a statement signed by more than 300 leading California pediatricians announcing their opposition to Prop 8 and concluding that the physician who signed the Prop 8 ballot statement, Jane Anderson, MD, in no way represents the majority of pediatricians on this issue.

The pediatrician statement took issue with Dr. Anderson, who identifies herself as a Fellow of the American College of Pediatricians. According to that organization's Web site, the American College of Pediatricians believes homosexuality is "preventable and changeable" and that "spanking can be an effective component of discipline." (See: http://www.acpeds.org)

The pediatrician's full statement against Prop 8 reads as follows:

"As pediatricians who care for children and families of California, we are writing to publicly deny any implication from the recently mailed "2008 California Voter" Guide that pediatricians support Prop 8. In the Guide, a rebuttal to the argument against Proposition 8 is signed by a pediatrician who is self-identified as a Fellow of the American College of Pediatricians (ACPeds). We wish to clarify that the ACPeds is an organization that does not in any way represent the majority of pediatricians' opinions regarding this initiative.

"The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), not the ACPeds, is the national organization with over 60,000 members that represents American pediatricians. The Board of Directors of the national office of the AAP commissioned a review of the relevant literature regarding child health in the context of same sex unions. The report was authored by a diverse panel of twelve experts from around the country and was published in the AAP's journal Pediatrics in 2006. It concludes,
'Civil marriage is a legal status that promotes healthy families by conferring a powerful set of rights, benefits, and protections that cannot be obtained by other means. Civil marriage can help foster financial and legal security, psychosocial stability, and an augmented sense of societal acceptance and support. Children who are raised by civilly married parents benefit from the legal status granted to their parents.

'Gay and lesbian people have been raising children for many years and will continue to do so in the future; the issue is whether these children will be raised by parents who have the rights, benefits, and protections of civil marriage.

'There is ample evidence to show that children raised by same-gender parents fare as well as those raised by heterosexual parents. More than 25 years of research has documented that there is no relationship between parents' sexual orientation and any measure of a child's emotional, psychosocial, and behavioral adjustment... Conscientious and nurturing adults, whether they are men or women, heterosexual or homosexual, can be excellent parents. The rights, benefits, and protections of civil marriage can further strengthen these families.'

"As physicians who care for society's most vulnerable members, we are committed to supporting what is best for our patients. In our clinical experience, supporting loving families supports children. Supporting the union and legal right of parents who care for our patients is not only the right thing for us to do; it is the professional thing to do.

Please join us in protecting our patients and vote against Proposition 8 on November 4."

The statement and the full list of pediatricians who signed it is posted online at http://www.noonprop8.com

Queer Families = Healthy Families: LGBT Parenting Conference

Saturday, October 11th
9:00 AM - 5:30 PM

San Francisco LGBT Community Center
1800 Market Street @ Octavia Blvd
San Francisco

Conference Key Features 

• Welcome address by Assemblyman Mark Leno
  
• Keynote Speaker Charlotte Patterson, Ph.D., premier researcher on LGBT families
  
• Lunch Panel on “Queer Families: Past, Present and Future” including Shannon Minter,NCLR Chief Legal Counsel for the Marriage lawsuit at the State Supreme Court
  
• Screening of “It’s STILL Elementary,” a film by GroundSpark and Debra Chasnoff, Academy Award winner and producer of “It's Elementary”
  
• Break-out Workshops on Cutting Edge Topics (details below)
  

Registration Information 

• Online: www.gaylesta.org/event_registration.php
  
• $125 at the door
  
• $115 current Gaylesta members
  
• Scholarships available for students and low income community members.
  
• Continental breakfast and box lunch provided
  
• Childcare provided (reserve in advance)
  

CEU Credit Information -
6 CEUs available for MFTs, LCSWs and Psychologists - PhD accreditation pending

WORKSHOPS & PANELS
Online conference information: www.gaylesta.org/events.html

AM Workshops 11:00 AM - 12:15 PM

Alternative Dispute Resolution in LGBT Divorce: The Legal, Social, and Psychological Dynamics of Separation in the LGBT Community
Presenters: Nina Raff, LCSW and Paul Thorndal, Esq.
Explores the legal, social, and psychological dynamics of divorce in the LGBT community, and the role of various forms of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) available to address those dynamics.

Attachment Issues in Adoption with Same Gendered Parents.
Presenter: Regina Marshall, PhD
Explores the impact adoption has on the parent/child dyad, the couple and the family through the lens of attachment theory.

The Bisexual Parent
Presenters: Chris Weipert, MFT and Annie Schussler, MFT
Explores the complexities of integrating one's bisexual identity with the role of being a parent. We will look at the intersection of these identities from both personal and clinical perspectives.

Conceiving Children: A Panel of Experts Discusses Assisted Insemination.
Presenters: Alice Ruby, MPH, MPPM (The Sperm Bank of California), Katherine Hsiao, MD (Lesbian Health Research Center, UCSF), Kristin Kali, LM CPM (Maia Midwifery), Sherron Mills, NP (Pacific Reproductive Services)
Will present information on choosing and interacting with sperm banks, negotiating known donor relationships, single parenting, fertility awareness and insemination strategizing and fertility challenges.

Respecting the Soul: LGBTQ African American Kinship and Mental Health
Presenter: Erica Britton, PsyD
Includes the history of African American lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer folks in the Bay Area, the history of African American LGBTQ folks in general, intra-cultural attitudes/beliefs, research findings, and assessment/intervention with the African American Queer family.

Trans Parenting: Clearing the Path to Coming Out
Presenters: Lisette R. Lahana, LCSW and Rachel Hollowgrass
Explores how transgendered and transsexual parents can give kids information based on their maturity level, the transition timeline as well as family, cultural and religious norms.

PM Workshops 2:15 PM - 3:30 PM

After the Rainbow: Couples Issues for Queer Parents
Presenter: Betsy Kassoff, PhD
Explores how the variables of biological and non-biological parenting status, gender transitions, gender “deviations” on the part of either children or parents, trans-racial adoption, nontraditional divorce, relationships of donors and other issues of queer parents affect their intimate relationships.

Family Formation Panel
Presenters: Charles Spiegel, Esq, Martha Rynberg (PACT), Charles Lerner (Family Builders), and Michelle Nobriga (law offices of Adams and Romer)
An overview of the some of most common adoption options available to the LGBT community (private, agency and fost/adopt) as well as a look at some of the issues and challenges of adoption, especially in creating transracial families.

School Advocacy Panel
Presenters: Aimee Fisher (Our Family Coalition) and Christy Chung (GroundSpark) "You're a sissy!"
"That's so gay!" Many students hear anti-gay taunts and are teased on a regular basis for not conforming to gender stereotypes or for having same-sex parents. It is critical to know how to work with your children and the adults in their school to address these incidents when they happen, and more importantly, prevent them from happening in the first place.

Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster: Assisting Queer Women Through Insemination
Presenters: Laura Goldberger, MFT and Kristin Kali, LM CPM (Maia Midwifery)
Delves into the emotional and relational issues for lesbians, bisexual, transgender, and other queer individuals during this highly stressful process: partner issues, gender issues, financial and emotional challenges, fertility concerns and other stressors.

Yours, Mine and Ours - Co-Parenting and Blended Family Systems
Presenter: Cheryl Deaner, MFT
Families of focus in this workshop include those who generally do not fit the “two parents living together” model. Healthy communication and good boundaries between parental systems will be discussed along with the challenges of different parenting styles.

For more information contact Dino DiDonato, (415) 431-4366 or gayfamilies@gaylesta.org

Conference Sponsoring Organizations:
Gaylesta the LGBTQ Psychotherapists Association, The San Francisco LGBT Community Center and Our Family Coalition Conference Co-Sponsors: New Leaf Services for Our Community, National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE); Banner Sponsor and Luncheon Host: RBC Wealth Management; Sponsors for Keynote Speaker: Ambassador James Hormel and The Orchard Garden Hotel

Israeli Court Hears Lesbian In Vitro Case

I have often wondered about this situation myself...

If a lesbian couple decides to have a child, where one woman supplies the egg, the other woman bares the child and the sperm is from an anonymous doner, then do both women become the child's legal parents? In Israel this is exactly what the courts are deciding.

Israeli courts have already ruled that same-sex couples can jointly adopt, however, this is the first time that two women in a committed relationship have been physically involved in the birth of a baby, at least in the Israeli court system.

The women, whose names are protected under Israeli law because a child is involved, went to court after the government refused to register them as co-mothers.

Their lawyer argues that both the women are the baby's biological mothers, and that recognizing both would be for the good of the child.

Attorney Na’ma Tzoref also told the court that the women had received the Health Ministry’s approval for the in vitro process.

But Israeli Attorney General Menachem Mazuz argues that because the sperm came from a third party, the woman who supplied the egg for the baby, now ten months old, must adopt him.

"Before approving the request for artificial insemination, the Health Ministry made it clear that the woman who donated the egg would not [automatically] be considered the child's mother and that if she wanted to be, she would have to adopt him," Manzur said.

Manzur last month said the government would recognize same-sex co-parents through the adoption process. The decision followed a ruling last December by the Supreme Court that the government must recognize foreign adoptions by same-sex parents and treat both parents as equal.

In Manzur's objection in this case he called the in vitro process the women used an end run around the adoption process.

The court has not said when it will issue a ruling.

Gays and lesbians in Israel have been steadily gaining civil rights since the government overturned the law against sodomy in 1988.

There have been no restrictions on gays serving in the military since 1993. In 2000, the age of consent for gays was lowered to 16, to match the legal age for consensual sex for heterosexuals.

Gay couples are given most federal rights in Israel, although gay marriages (which are only religious marriages in Israel) are not permitted.

News found on 365Gay.com

Lesbian Moms in the Dating World

Lesbian moms face the same predicament all single parents do: How do you balance having a love life and still giving your kids the time and attention they need. Of course your children should come first in your life, but dating is something you get to do for yourself, so don’t feel guilty.

Here are some tips that may help:

• Don’t introduce your children to someone you’re dating until you are sure the relationship is going somewhere. Having your children meet every dinner date may confuse them, and they may come to resent you dating anyone.



• Once you decide to introduce your girlfriend to your children, start by introducing her as a friend. You can then gradually let you children know that she is becoming a more important person in your life.



• Make a point of spending “alone time” with your children. Maintaining your private time with your children will help them to realize that your girlfriend is not a threat to their relationship with you.



• Your child does not need to know all the details of your dating life. Although it may be tempting to talk to your children about what is going on in your romance, especially if they are older, confiding, complaining, or even asking for advice may make them feel responsible, and it is an unfair to burden to your children.



• Don’t expect your children to love your new partner right away, it may take time for them to get used to the idea of sharing you with someone new.

If you have any additional tips or information, please leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.