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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Bad Holiday Gift ideas for your Lesbian Significant Other

After I had created my Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide, I was thinking that it might be fun to blog about what NOT to get your girlfriend/wife/partner for the Holidays. So, to make it a bit more interesting, I posed this question to a group of my friends..."What do you think would be a terrible gift to get from your girlfriend/wife/partner/soon-to-be-partner or soon-to-be-ex for the Holidays?"

This is what they came up with:

  1. Any sort of kitchen appliance (unless they're a chef)

  2. Clothing (unless they pick it gift cards, either)

  3. A statuette of ANYTHING

  4. The announcement that you're pregnant

  5. A home knit sweater

  6. A Chia pet

  7. Anything holiday specific ( i.e. "The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker")

  8. A gift certificate for a makeover and/or liposuction

  9. A surprise winter camping trip
  10. (1-9 from Casey)

  11. I don’t think many women would appreciate a membership to the gym for x-mas, but there is always an exception.

  12. I never thought I would like to get a vacuum for x-mas, but if it was the dyson I have been eyeing, it might be ok.
  13. (10-11 from Brandy)

  14. Superstition say not to give a Clock to anyone because it symbolizes that time is running out.

  15. Also not a good idea to give perfume - because when the perfume is gone, so is the love.
  16. (12-13 from Angela)

  17. A “re-gift” from an ex or to an ex that you never gave to them

  18. A single ticket to anything – especially a one way ticket out of town

  19. A “how to" sex book, not the kind that are fun to share as a couple but the kind that indicates that you are less than satisfactory in the bedroom– especially if the relationship is new
  20. (14-16 from Tracy)

  21. A dishwasher

  22. A vacuum

  23. Toothpicks

  24. A venereal disease

  25. Salve ointment

  26. Toilet paper

  27. Tampons...These are just a few of the things I can imagine NOT wanting for Christmas.
  28. (17-23 from Julie)

  29. A framed pic of your g'friend and her most recent Ex.
  30. (24 from Treena)

  31. Well I guess you wouldn’t want to get a book on: 101 Ways to Please Yourself
  32. (25 from Kristy)

  33. Something that will break (for obvious reasons)

  34. A wedding/promise ring (better to pick it out together)

  35. A pet (what if she's allergic?)

  36. Something that she would get herself (cuz the best presents are what you really want but can't bring yourself to buy - the super-special treats)
  37. (26-29 from Bridgette)

  38. Cooking lessons

  39. Appliances (i.e. a pasta maker)

  40. A subscription to a book club

  41. And definitely don't get your butch GF a gift certificate to a clothing store she'd never even think of stepping foot into

  42. A one way ticket on a cruise ship to the Antarctica...w/ the latest Kelly Clarkson CD
  43. (30-34 from Sam)

  44. Anything that says Christmas

  45. A perfume I dont like (ask me and I'll tell you which one is my favorite)
  46. Clothes

  47. Gift card
  48. (35-38 from Leila)

  49. Jumper cable nipple clamps
  50. (39 from Lala)

  51. A subscription to Good Housekeeping

  52. A Padded Push-up Bra - Like I need one
  53. (41-42 are my own personal additions)

Nice to see that my friends aren't too cynical...yah right! But really ladies, thanks for all your help on this one, I got a kick out of reading all of your answers.

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