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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Lesbians, Why Rush to Get Married???

Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I am a big supporter of same-sex marriage. Not just because I am a lesbian, but because I believe everyone should have equal rights and freedoms.

That being said, I wanted to put out a bit of a precautionary note for all of those lesbian couples who are thinking about getting married. And keep in mind I say this with love...but ladies please... don’t just go jumping on the marriage bandwagon because it is finally legal in California. Marriage is a huge commitment that comes with serious responsibilities. No longer can lesbians meet, fall madly in love, get married and then expect to be able to just walk away without any repercussions if they decided the relationship isn’t working anymore. Lesbian couples that wed in California and then later decide to break up, will have to get a legal divorce. And since I am sure most of you know someone who has been through a divorce, whether it be your parents, a friend, or even yourself, you know they almost never end pretty. Now take that “not so pretty ending” and add a little unchartered territory (same-sex divorce laws), and wham, you could have a major legal nightmare on your hands.

Now I am not trying to scare everyone away from getting married… I mean if you and your partner have decided to make that commitment, then you should go for it. I am just saying, for all those lesbian couples who haven’t been together very long, what’s the rush? If you just slow down, take the time to get to know each other a little better, chances are, you will save yourself a lot of heartache, as well as legal hassles, in the long run. And when the anti-gay marriage proposition in November doesn’t pass (positive thinking), than same-sex marriage will be legal in California whenever you and your partner are finally ready to make that commitment.

4 comments:

coachsappho said...

You are so, so right! Last week, Grey's Anatomy star TR Knight was asked if he was marrying his partner of 6 months and he stated he was not ready for marriage because they hadn't been together very long. Way to go TR Knight. If nothing else if you think you are ready to marry, get engaged first and plan a wedding like many straight couples do, in a year or so! Yes, that does assume marriage in CA for gays will continue, but, what would you rather have: legal woes or longing to be married? Which is worse? You choose........

coachsappho said...

oops forgot to say - might i even add:

get engaged, and then get some support together to be sure:

1) you are 'right' for each other

AND

2) you have the basic skills needed to succeed.

Anonymous said...

Thank You!

~ Sam

CupidsReviews Heidi said...

I am wondering if you can get divorced outside of Cali if you are in a gay marriage, or if you have to go back there to do it as it isn't legal in all states? Living in canada, thats not really a concern of mine, but I am curious about how the system over there works.

 

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