Introducing Sex Toys Into Your Relationship

By Tim Millett, Guest Blogger

Fun is fun, and scary is scary. In any relationship, there are thresholds that need to be respected. Adult toys can be scary to those not used to them, and if you’re looking for a great way to trash a relationship in seconds, scaring someone is definitely the way to go. It can be an absolute disaster, and any ideas need to be carefully considered before getting into this zone.

The risk factors
Most people have some level of “no go” areas, often linked to serious emotional issues. Traumatic experiences can go back a long way, and a person having a history of difficult or even dangerous relationships is always hyper sensitive, with good reason.

These situations should be considered to be like serious injuries. Even if the wounds have healed, stress leaves scars, and nobody appreciates those scars being reopened. Sexual stress is sometimes severe, and practically reflexive in many people. It’s automatic, and can be very like “fight or flight” responses in crises, similar to shock.

Some subjects can be a case of pushing far too many wrong buttons all at the same time, and if you’re in the early stages of any sort of relationship, it’s usually fatal. Even with an established relationship, exploration of some subjects can be risky. One of the worst possible mistakes in any relationship, on any subject, is not to sound out the issues in advance. If it’s anything to do with sex, expect trouble if you don’t.

Developing relationships do just that- They evolve, and levels of intimacy expand the relationship naturally. This process is reliable, honest, and can be a lot of fun. Anything which doesn’t fit those criteria, forget it.

Talk saves tears
The best way to approach any subject where you’re not sure of your ground is indirectly. You can safely talk about any subject provided the conversation doesn’t get into “This means you” mode. Even this way of doing things can trigger reactions in sensitive people, so be prepared for some fireworks, if you hit a nerve.

Even a comparatively simple, innocuous subject like a vibrator can be an issue for some people, if you’re talking about sex. If so, think about how difficult it would be to turn a vibrator into an emotional or traumatic issue. You can assume something which would have voided the warranty was involved, and that, let’s face it, is a pretty good reason for getting hypersensitive.

More complex issues have an escalating level of difficulty. Don’t assume anything is naturally OK, until you check it out.

Most important:
Do not underestimate the degree of difficulty for your partner. If you’re not sure how to approach the subject, leave it alone. Nothing good can come of a flat-footed approach to something which puts someone into major reaction mode.

Stay focused on the relationship, stay focused on getting your facts straight when it comes to feelings about sex, and you’ll have a great relationship. Sex is a key component of relationships, and if you wreck it, you wreck the relationship as well. Stick to fun, and life is good.

Author Bio: Tim is an Australian freelance writer and journalist. He writes extensively in Australia, Canada, Europe, and the US. He’s published more than 500 articles about various topics, including adult toys and vibrator.

HRC Presents: One Celebration, One Weekend, For HER

Her HRC San Francisco
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
One Celebration. One Weekend. For Women.

Friday, February 18
Doors open at 6:00 p.m.


Orson
508 4th Street
San Francisco, CA 94107


Join HRC for a sizzling hot women's night filled with sugar and spice and everything nice. You will not want to miss this night! They will be featuring Twilight Vixen Revue, an all queer burlesque troupe and winners of the "Best Burlesque Act in the Bay Area," four years in a row (2007-2010).

Give her a night out and an HRC annual Membership for just $10.

Tickets: $10 online and $15 at the door. Includes an annual HRC membership
18+

Space is limited, arrive early - this event is expected to reach capacity.

Click Here to purchase tickets.

Leaving from the South Bay:
Meet US at San Jose Didrion Station at 5:00 p.m. to
take the 5:25 p.m. Bullet up to San Francisco, a 4 block walk to Orsons
The last train back to San Jose leaves at 12:01 and leaves in hourly intervals for an easy return.

(timetables)
Please note your Train Fare will be $17 round trip
RSVP to meet on the train

Please contact communityevents@hrc.org with questions.
For more information about other Her HRC, please visit www.hrc.org/herhrc.

Calling All Volunteers: if you would like to help at this event or join the Gala Dinner Committee,
email us at takeactionhrc@gmail.comFirst Gala Dinner Planning Meeting: February 15, 6:00 p.m.

Be a part of the biggest Fundraiser of the year!

The History of Valentine's Day

By Larry James, Relationship Coach & Author

Have you ever wondered how Valentine's Day came to be?

The Story behind St. Valentines Day is a fascinating one. Although February 14th is celebrated as a lovers' holiday today, with the giving of candy, flowers, Valentine's Day card and other gifts between couples in love, it originated as a tribute to St. Valentine, a Catholic bishop.

As early as the fourth century B.C., the Romans engaged in an annual young man's rite of passage to the God Lupercus. It's earliest orgin was the Roman festival Lupercalia, observed on Feb. 15. Lupercalia celebrated the coming of Spring on the Roman calendar. Lupercalia became a celebration intended to ensure the fertility of flocks, fields and people.

The names of the teenage women were placed in a box and drawn at random by adolescent men; thus, a man was assigned a woman companion (a sexual partner) for the duration of the year, after which another lottery was staged. After eight hundred years of this cruel practice, the early church fathers sought to end this practice.

In an effort to do away with the pagan festival, Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the lottery. Instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the box, and the game was to emulate the ways of the saint they drew during the rest of the year. Needless to say, many of the young Roman men were not too pleased with the rule changes.

Alabama Sheriff's Department Ignore Lesbian Hate Crime?

Laura Gilbert, a 25-year-old openly lesbian woman from Alabama, was attacked by roughly a dozen people outside a straight bar in Opelika, AL. Gilbert and her high school friend, Sheila Siddall, say they went there to sing karoake. “As soon as we walked in the bar, I felt uncomfortable,” Gilbert said. “I felt everybody staring at us, but you know, it was her birthday, I didn’t want to ruin it for her.” Gilbert and Siddall say as they were about to leave, a woman confronted them and started to fight with them. The fight grew to include about a dozen people, including two men, and moved outside, according to the women.

It was Sheila Siddall who called the police, expecting them to come and arrest the group. However, when a police officer arrived, Gilbert was the only one who was arrested, and was charged with disorderly conduct. Out of the dozen people at the scene, many of whom were intoxicated, and all of them were engaged in “disorderly conduct,” but Gilbert says that she wasn’t even interviewed by the police. The only statements that were taken down were from her attackers. The police say this is because Gibert was too intoxicated to give a statement, although they did proceed to take statements from other drunk people.

Lee County Sheriff Jay Jones says, “The arrest that took place was a result of a law enforcement officer actively and presently observing what he at that moment in time perceived to be a violation of the law.” However, the witnesses agree that the fight was already over by the time any law enforcement arrived, so the officer actually observed no crime.

Alabama’s state hate crimes legislation does not include sexual orientation or gender identity as a protected class, and this isn't the first time that the law officials have overlooked these type of hate crimes.

Below is the news clip from this incident, it is definitely worth taking a look at.

Valentine's Day Lesbian Sex Toy Contest Winner

Congratulations goes out to JuiceyJessofMFC, she is the winner of the Valentine's Day Lesbian Sex Toy Contest. JuiceyJess will be receiving a MELT Chocolate Body Fondue Kit from mypleasure.com, just in time for Valentine's Day.