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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Cheating Women. Why Do They Do It?

I received this article as a comment to one of my blog posts. Although it was totally unrelated to the post, I found it interesting enough to share with you anyway, so here you go.

Why do some women cheat? Can you stop cheating women? More women are choosing to cheat on their partners than ever before; Here are some of the reasons:

1. Revenge. Although you didn't sleep with someone else, you may as well have. You have broken her trust in some other way. Cheating women often sleep with someone else to pay you back for that dodgy investment or the lie she caught you out on. Apologize profusely and hopefully she will forgive you instead of joining the cheating women society.

2. Feeling unappreciated. Do you treat your wife or girlfriend like an unpaid nanny? Do you ever thank her for all those boring chores she does in and out of the house? What is she doing while you are playing golf? Housework? Minding the children? Seeing someone else? Cheating women often do so because they feel totally neglected at home. Show her you do appreciate her. Say thank you. Notice what has been done. Give her some help. Cheating women are looking for some appreciation and thanks.

3. The honeymoon is over. Another motivator for cheating women is that they are not getting enough sex at home. Once that sexual glow has gone and the sex becomes less frequent, cheating women look for it elsewhere. Try and put some time aside for sex. Go to bed early instead of falling asleep in front of the TV could be all you need to do.

4. Boring sex. Cheating women often say that it is the excitement of the affair that is the big attraction. Sex at home has become boring and routine. Try and put a spark back into your sex life so that your partner need not leave home to find sexual adventure. Cheating women love the thrill of the illicit affair.

5. Low self esteem. Having someone pay attention to you can really boost your ego. Cheating women are often looking for the flattery they are not getting at home. Pay your partner some attention, flatter her, and prevent her from becoming a cheating woman.

6. No intimacy. All women need to feel close to their loved ones. Cheating women have given up on getting it from their partners and are looking elsewhere. Hugs, kisses, massages, all will make her feel closer to you.

7. No emotional input. Women need you to talk about your emotions. You may think it is worse than going to the dentist. Cheating women are looking for the emotional feed back they are not getting at home. Cheating women can be prevented just by expressing your emotions.

8. You cheated first. Cheating women are often paying back their husband for his sexual infidelity. Sexual revenge is a huge motivator for cheating women. This kind of tit for tat is only going to hurt you both.

9. Sayonara. Some cheating women have already mentally left the relationship and are looking for the replacement. Emotionally, this cheating woman has already left you. She probably isn't planning on staying.

With some attention and flattery your partner need not join the lengthening list of cheating women.


erotika said...

I agree. It could be one or any combination of what you enumerated. However, I still frown upon infidelity. A clean break before any fooling around is always the best. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

What I find interesting in this article is (with the exception of the last one) the blame is being place upon the one who was cheat on. Give me a break! Cheating is a conscience choice. The cheater knows what she is doing. Yes, all relationship have times and issues where everything is not perfect but that certainly does not give justification to the one who chooses to betray their partner. If you are unhappy, then be an adult and tell the one with who you are supposed to be loyal the truth. But STOP placing the blame on the partner who has been burned.

Anonymous said...

What about cheating with men? Not for an emotional connection for the pleasure of a man? I love my wife however i would like to be with a man again....not for love for the physical.....thoughts?

girl2grl said...

In my opinion, if you're thinking about cheating, whether it is with a man or a woman, then you need to figure out what it is your missing in your own relationship that has created this need for you. If it truly is just a physical need, then I am wondering if there is a way you and your wife could use "toys" so that you could get that same physical pleasure without cheating? I guess the most important question to ask yourself is, "Are you really willing to risk your relationship just for physical pleasure?" And if the answer is yes, then perhaps you shouldn't be in a monogamous relationship with a woman.

chel said...

I agree with everything you mentioned, but may i add on? I was cheated on by my girlfriend and her reasons seemed different. She states that it was pressure. The female she had been playing me for kept targeting her pride. She would call her unneccesary names. In other words pride can sometimes make you do stupid things.

Anonymous said...

when I met my girlfriend I told her one of the most hurtful things you could do to an individual was cheat. So if she ever thought about cheating just end it with me first. She didn't and it devastated me when she cheated! If she wanted out then all she had to do was end it.. she had a relationship for 5 months before ending it.. and you people think it was my fault.. I don;t believe that for one minute.. cheating is a choice and she should have chose to end it with me first!!!!

Anonymous said...

my wife is cheating on me emotionally with an ex. i'm thinking about leaving her for good. any suggestions.

girl2grl said...

Have you talked to her about how you are feeling? Sometimes we don't fully understand what is going on with our partners and talking about it will often help to clear things up. It may just be that she isn't quite over her ex and needs some therapy to help get her through it, especially if the breakup was traumatic.

If you love her and want to be with her be patient, but if it becomes to much for both of you, then you have ever right to leave...I would just only do that as a last resort.

Anonymous said...

I am cheating with a woman that is in a long term relationship. I fell in love with her and she with me. I have never done this before and never thought I'd ever be here. My first thought was for the girlfriend. We both said we'd be friends and not let it go far, there was an obvious attraction between us but we tried to fight it. We communicated for a while only via IM, then phone,then vists, and kissing, late night phone calls every night for months, and eventually we made love. Now we've tried to stop seeing each other, but it feels horrible, just the thought of being away from each other.
She does care for her gf, the gf's father is battling terminal illness. They've been together for a while and something has been missing for a while, but there were no major issues between them.
At this point 8 months in neither of us wants to leave.
It's not so cut and dry. My heart got involved and so did hers, we don't want to hurt anyone that's why we're at a stand still right now. She doesn't want to break the gf's heart or mine. what a quandry!

girl2grl said...

Well this does sound like a difficult situation. And it sounds like you and the woman who is cheating on her partner have some tough decisions to make. I think you need to ask yourself, such as: Do you want more than just sex with this woman? Do you really think she is going to leave her long-term relationship for you? And if she does leave her for you, what would stop her from doing the same thing to you later down the road? Just a few things you may want to think about.

Liketolivefreely said...

No one can remain faithful to one person at any one time forever. We are all human and we change over a period of time. I went through drastic changes at work. Over time, I need something else to motivate and to challenge me. Guess what? My current girlfriend no longer gives me a reason to believe that we are forever. After 15 years together, I opened myself up to others and learn more about giving and lots of catching up. I did not find these relationships troublesome or heavy, these are just things that I need for my emptiness. I still remain intact, nothing has been destroyed. We talked about this right from the beginning and she accepts this for who I am. I know I can be rotten but I told her about this from the start. I get bored easily and I love to get control over things. At least I did not lie about it.

Anonymous said...

Damn, I wish people would post some advice or info on people who are not looking for serious relationships and are involved with a person who is in a relationship. I just separated from my girlfriend who I had a daughter with. I just want to fool around with whoever wants to. This girl obviously wants to but she has a gf. Just need some tips to not have to deal with drama in the end.

girl2grl said...

If your looking for a "drama free" fling, then getting involved with someone who already has a girlfriend is probably not the best idea. There are other women out there looking for a no strings attached kind of relationship, and if you are honest in letting them know that is all you want, then you should have no problems. But be aware, you may want to check in with them time to time, because people do fall in love, even when they aren't intending to.

Good luck

Anonymous said...

This is so true........i have been considering cheating for a number of the reasons listed above.

linda said...

My girl cheated on me a couple years ago and then had done several other things for me to question how safe was she-- not physically but emotionally. I caught myself looking around didnt find anything for a long time. Now i was not doing it concisely--it was just a random thought. Then I met the girl --the girl i thought would be it-- we met up in a different state--we both live in different places and went to high school together. so i came home and told my girl of 8 years that i was attracted to someone else. Then i didnt want to hurt her . so i kept going back and forth between the two of them.
lying and cheating on both of them.I have never done anything like this before now they both hate me. i dont know what happened to me
why did i do everything i did that i knew was wrong and hurtful. i feel like the shit on the bottom of your shoe. Before i started this mess i always had moral integrity this mess has just made me realize maybe im not such a great person i feel sick

Anonymous said...

Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship sine July I am the first relationship she's been in with a woman. She has beeen married twice to men and cheated throughout both marriages many times. I told her trust is important to me when we first got together. We have recently moved in together and she has a lil son that I love as much as her. We don't argue and have a great sexual and emotional relationship. Recently I found out she cheated on my twice. Once in the begining of our relationship with her best friend who is a man and supposedly gay when I was out of town and again when I was back in town. She also made out with another male friend of her's that is straight and recently had plans to go out of town with her friends on a group getaway and the male friend she made out with would be there and present another oppourtunity for her to cheat. I didn't know about any of this till recent she has also sent pictures of herself to both men. I have been faithful to her and love her very much...and have no idea what to do. Will she most likely cheat again? although she cried and said she was sorry and wouldn't. Should I believe her..?

girl2grl said...

Chances are if she has cheated before, she will cheat again. You should really talk to her about it and see what is going on with her. Perhaps she cheats when things are going well and she gets too close to somebody. Not that that is a good excuse, but if you know why, and can talk about it, then you both may have a chance to work on the problem. Otherwise, your best option is to leave.

Good Luck

Anonymous said...

I cheated on my GF once to get back at her because she would exclude me to go out with her friends and was talking to other girls. Lately I feel like cheating again because I'm bored, when we go out she doesn't give me the attention I want but just wants to hang out with friends.She works Fridays and I want to go out and not be stuck in the house. I've tried telling/writing how I feel and she just puts it down, so I give up talking. I want to find someone else and stay with my GF until I get over her.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend of 6 beautiful years moved away to another state and I was suppose to join her in 3 months. Once she got the taste of freedom, 2 month later, she got into a sexual relationship which turned abusive for her which she needed counseling for. Then she has since dated 2 other women short term, now as of yesterday, she told me that she's having an affair with another women who is much older. All this time she keeps telling me she is not ready for me to move in with her yet. She has told me of every situation because she wants to be honest with me. I still wear the commitment ring she gave me and I have never even looked at another women. I believe in love and I can't help but still be in love with her. I am going to see her in 3 weeks and I asked her if she could refrain from having sex with the women she is seeing but doesn't have any desire to commit to. She told me she can't promise that, yet she want to see if she and I can make it as a couple again. I'm risking leaving a good job to see if we have the love we shared before she left. I am a hopeless romantic who only wanted to grow old with what I believed was my soul mate. I wanted to marry her. Maybe I'm the one who needs counseling.


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