Activists sue to keep marriage ban off Calif. ballot

Gay rights advocates asked California's highest court Friday to keep off the November ballot a citizens' initiative that would again ban same-sex marriage.

Lawyers for Equality California filed a petition arguing that the proposed amendment to the California Constitution should be invalidated because its impact was not made clear to the millions of voters who signed petitions to qualify the measure before the state Supreme Court legalized same-sex unions.

"This court has recognized that gay and lesbian couples have a fundamental right to marry and, as of June 16, such couples have been getting married across the state," the petition states.

"Rather than effecting 'no change' in existing California law, the proposed initiative would dramatically change existing law by taking that fundamental right away and inscribing discrimination based on a suspect classification into our state Constitution."

The petition also claims the so-called California Marriage Protection Act should be disqualified because it would revise, rather than amend, the state Constitution by altering its fundamental guarantee of equality for all -- in essence writing a law the state high court has already found unconstitutional into the constitution.

"If enacted, it would alter the underlying principles on which the California Constitution is based and make far-reaching changes in the nature of our basic government plan, by severely compromising the core constitutional principle of equal citizenship (and) ... by destroying the courts' quintessential power and role of protecting minorities," it states.

Unlike a constitutional amendment that can be approved by voters, a constitutional revision requires convening a Constitutional convention or the appointment of a commission to recommend changes to the Legislature and voters, according to the petition submitted by same-sex marriage supporters.

"For good reason, there's a strict process for making revisions to our Constitution, and it's more involved than simply collecting petition signatures," said attorney Stephen Bomse in a statement posted on the Web site of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, another petitioner in the case.

"That process is in place to safeguard our basic form of government, especially the most basic principle of equal protection of the laws."

The petition names Secretary of State Debra Bowen and the measure's sponsors, a coalition of religious and social conservative groups called ProtectMarriage.com, as defendants.

Since Bowen's office already has certified the amendment for the fall election, a spokeswoman says she can remove it only through a court order.

"She has a ministerial duty to certify any initiative when they qualify through the petition process, and she can't remove an initiative without a judge's order," said Kate Folmar, a spokeswoman for the secretary of state.

The last time the state Supreme Court was asked to decide if a proposition should remain on the ballot was 2005, when it did so twice. In both decisions, the propositions were allowed to stay on the special election ballot.

In both 2005 cases, the state Supreme Court overturned lower courts who had taken the propositions off the ballot. The propositions were a redistricting initiative backed by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and another that would have re-regulated the state's electricity market.

The Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund, which represents the measure's sponsors, called the petition a desperate move it would fight.

"This is just another attempt to force a radical political agenda upon the people of California," said Defense Fund senior counsel Glen Lavy. "The opponents of marriage are willing to use any means necessary to impose their will."

(Lisa Leff and Paul Elias, AP)

Heinz New Gay Ad Campaign

Have you heard about the new Heinz TV ad campaign that features two men sharing a kiss? It recently started running on British television and is promoting a new Deli-style Mayo that uses the slogan "adding a little New York City" to your sandwich. 

Take a look...

I was thrown off a little when the kids referred to the "Deli man" as mum, but I still liked the commercial and thought it was kinda sweet...to bad it's not playing in the US.

Lesbians, Why Rush to Get Married???

Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I am a big supporter of same-sex marriage. Not just because I am a lesbian, but because I believe everyone should have equal rights and freedoms.

That being said, I wanted to put out a bit of a precautionary note for all of those lesbian couples who are thinking about getting married. And keep in mind I say this with love...but ladies please... don’t just go jumping on the marriage bandwagon because it is finally legal in California. Marriage is a huge commitment that comes with serious responsibilities. No longer can lesbians meet, fall madly in love, get married and then expect to be able to just walk away without any repercussions if they decided the relationship isn’t working anymore. Lesbian couples that wed in California and then later decide to break up, will have to get a legal divorce. And since I am sure most of you know someone who has been through a divorce, whether it be your parents, a friend, or even yourself, you know they almost never end pretty. Now take that “not so pretty ending” and add a little unchartered territory (same-sex divorce laws), and wham, you could have a major legal nightmare on your hands.

Now I am not trying to scare everyone away from getting married… I mean if you and your partner have decided to make that commitment, then you should go for it. I am just saying, for all those lesbian couples who haven’t been together very long, what’s the rush? If you just slow down, take the time to get to know each other a little better, chances are, you will save yourself a lot of heartache, as well as legal hassles, in the long run. And when the anti-gay marriage proposition in November doesn’t pass (positive thinking), than same-sex marriage will be legal in California whenever you and your partner are finally ready to make that commitment.

How Differences Can Help Your Relationship

by Susie and Otto Collins

Have you ever wondered why you are in a relationship with someone who
is so different from you?

Most people when they get into relationships have an unspoken and
even unconscious agenda that they want to make the other person just
like them. The thought is--"Everything would be okay if you're just
like me, if you like what I like and if you do things the way I like
them to be done."

It may seem obvious--but we have to say it anyway--no two people
alike. No matter how similar you think you are when you get into a
relationship and how well matched, you are two radically different people.

What we have seen over and over--and we're sure you have too--
opposites do attract.

Many people come into relationship with someone who may appear to be
the same but sooner or later they discover just how different they
are and they end up being irritated about it.

The truth is that we all come into relationships to grow and if we
are with someone who is very different from us, we have the choice as
to how we react to those differences. We can either come from a
place of fear, righteousness and judgment or from a place of love and
growth.

What we have discovered is when differences come up, instead of
making that person wrong, you have to embrace the differences between
the two of you and use them to create a better relationship.

Sound impossible? It isn't and here's why.

The two of us have very similar interests and values when it comes to
learning about love, relationships and spirituality. At the very
core of us, there is a strong "glue" that holds us together. We are
also very different people with very different ways of looking at
life. This fact often makes being married business partners a
challenge!

Through the years, we have learned and are still learning how to use
these differences as growth opportunities.

Here are some tips that we've discovered as we've worked with these
differences daily to create powerfully together instead of being at
odds and critical of one another:

1. Open to possibilities
When you are closed to the ways of other people and only focus on how
you've always done things, there's no growth. Begin by opening to
hearing that someone else may have a different way of doing something
and a different opinion. Being open means breathing, sitting, facing
one another in an open way and making eye contact. Be open to
changing a viewpoint, a way of doing something or even a value if it no longer serves you. It doesn't mean giving up being who you are but it means expanding who you are. Shift into an attitude of wonder.

2. Let go of needing to be right
All of us like to be right but when there are differences, we suggest
you put that "rightness" aside. When we have hung onto being right, it's been helpful for us to go back to the thought--"Will this attitude move me closer to what I want or further away." Since what we want is a closer connection, we usually can let go of being right pretty quickly.


3. Listen without judging
This is a hard one but really necessary. Take turns talking and
don't interrupt each other. Listen to each other and make an attempt
to use "yes and" instead of "but" whenever possible. When you both
feel heard, you will come up with a better solution to your
differences than you could have if you had stayed in your "rightness."

4. Ask "What Can I learn from you?"
This is truly the secret that we've found to dealing with our
differences. Ask yourself "What can I learn from you that will help
me to grow?" and then listen to what comes up inside you.

Shifting your attitude from blame to an openness to learning has
transformed our relationship and we know it can yours too.

This week, whenever you are "hit" with someone's differences, change
the way you normally look at those situations. Shift from annoyance,
anger or judgment to openness, wonder and love. We think you'll see
a positive change in your relationships and life.

Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books on relationships,

Lesbian kiss at Seattle ballpark stirs up gay-friendly town

The Associated Press
Thu, Jun 5, 2008

Most of the time, a kiss is just a kiss in the stands at Seattle Mariners games. The crowd hardly even pays attention when fans smooch.

But then last week, a lesbian complained that an usher at Safeco Field asked her to stop kissing her date because it was making another fan uncomfortable.

The incident has exploded on local TV, on talk radio and in the blogosphere and has touched off a debate over public displays of affection in generally gay-friendly Seattle.

"Certain individuals have not yet caught up. Those people see a gay or lesbian couple and they stare or say something," said Josh Friedes of Equal Rights Washington. "This is one of the challenges of being gay. Everyday things can become sources of trauma."

As the Mariners played the Boston Red Sox on May 26, Sirbrina Guerrero and her date were approached in the third inning by an usher who told them their kissing was inappropriate, Guerrero said.

The usher, Guerrero said, told them he had received a complaint from a woman nearby who said that there were kids in the crowd of nearly 36,000 and that parents would have to explain why two women were kissing.

"I was really just shocked," Guerrero said. "Seattle is so gay-friendly. There was a couple like seven rows ahead making out. We were just showing affection."

On Monday, Mariners spokeswoman Rebecca Hale said that the club is investigating but that the usher was responding to a complaint of two women "making out" and "groping" in the stands.
"We have a strict non-discrimination policy at the Seattle Mariners and at Safeco Field, and when we do enforce the code of conduct it is based on behavior, not on the identity of those involved," Hale said.

The code of conduct _ announced before each game _ specifically mentions public displays of affection that are "not appropriate in a public, family setting." Hale said those standards are based on what a "reasonable person" would find inappropriate.

Guerrero denied she and her date were groping each other, saying that along with eating garlic fries, they were giving each other brief kisses.

On Tuesday, Guerrero said a Mariners director of guest services had apologized to her. The team spokeswoman could not immediately confirm that.

After the story broke, the Mariners were blasted by the sex-advice columnist Dan Savage, who wrote about the incident on the blog of the Stranger, an alternative weekly paper.
"I constantly see people making out," Savage said. "My son has noticed and asked, `Do they show the ballgame on women's foreheads?'"

Savage called for a "kiss-in" to protest against the Mariners.

Web sites have been swamped with blog postings for and against Guerrero and her date. And the story has people talking in Seattle.

"I would be uncomfortable" seeing public displays of affection between lesbians or gay men, said Jim Ridneour, a 54-year-old taxi driver. "I don't think it's right seeing women kissing in public. If I had my family there, I'd have to explain what's going on."

"It all depends on the degree," Mark Ackerman said as he waited for a hot dog outside Safeco Field before Wednesday's game. "Even for heterosexual couples."

Since the incident, Guerrero's job and her past have come under scrutiny. She works at a bar known for scantily clad women and was a contestant on the MTV reality show "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila," in which women and men compete for the affection of a bisexual Internet celebrity.

"People are saying it's 15 more minutes for my career," Guerrero said of the ballpark furor, "but this is not making me look very good."

In 2007, an Oregon transit agency chief apologized after a lesbian teenager was kicked off a bus when a passenger complained about her kissing another girl.

Also in 2007, a gay rights group protested a Kansas City, Mo., restaurant they said ejected four women because two of them kissed, and a Texas state trooper was placed on probation in 2004 for telling two gay men who were kissing at the state Capitol that homosexual conduct was illegal in Texas.

"There's a double standard. That's the bottom line," said Pat Griffin, director of the It Takes a Team! Education Campaign, an initiative from the Women's Sports Foundation to eliminate homophobia in sports.

Let the Weddings Begin!

Good news on the marriage front, the California Supreme Court has denied the attempt by anti-gay marriage groups to delay same-sex marriages until the November election. So, as of June 17th, Gay & Lesbian couples throughout California will be able to receive marriage licenses.

Although this is a huge step forward, we cannot forget that the fight is not over. If the Gay Marriage initiative passes in November, it will override the Supreme Courts decision to allow gay marriage and will again create a law that only allows marriage between a man and a woman in the state of California.

It is imperative that we get the word out to voters that a "no" vote on this November anti-marriage initiative will preserve equal rights for all men and women in California, as guaranteed under the Constitution.

For more information, to volunteer, or to donate, check out Equality California's website.

California June Primary - What's at Stake for the GLBT Community

California's June 3rd Primary has more at stake than many people realize. This election will determine if we will continue to have a Legislature that passes laws supporting equal rights for the GLBT community.

In this election season California will be losing 20 pro gay marriage votes in the Legislature due to term limits. Some of those retiring lawmakers are our best GLBT supporters. That is why it is essential that the GLBT community get out and vote for the 53 pro-equality candidates who are running for the California Legislature.

Here is a list of pro-equality candidates that are supported by Equality California’s Political Action Committee. Each of these candidates were chosen because they support the GLBT community 100% of the time.

Click here to find your District

*denotes an incumbent
+denotes an LGBT candidate

Assembly Districts
AD 1 Wesley Chesbro
AD 6 Jared Huffman*
AD 7 Noreen Evans*
AD 8 Christopher Cabaldon+
AD 9 Dave Jones*
AD 11 Tom Torlakson
AD 12 Fiona Ma*
AD 13 Tom Ammiano+
AD 14 Kriss Worthington+
AD 15 Joan Buchanan
AD 16 Sandre Swanson*
AD 18 Mary Hayashi*
AD 20 Alberto Torrico*
AD 21 Ira Ruskin*
AD 22 Paul Fong
AD 23 Joe Coto*
AD 24 Jim Beall*
AD 27 Emily Reilly
AD 28 Anna Caballero*
AD 35 Pedro Nava*
AD 39 Felipe Fuentes*
AD 40 Laurette Healey+
AD 41 Julia Brownley*
AD 42 Mike Feuer*
AD 43 Paul Krekorian*
AD 44 Anthony Portantino*
AD 45 Kevin de León*
AD 46 John Perez+
AD 47 Karen Bass*
AD 49 Mike Eng*
AD 50 Hector de la Torre*
AD 51 Curren Price*
AD 53 Ted Lieu*
AD 54 Bonnie Lowenthal
AD 56 Tony Mendoza*
AD 57 Ed Hernandez*
AD 58 Charles Calderon*
AD 69 Jose Solorio*
AD 76 Lori Saldana*
AD 78 Marty Block
AD 79 Mary Salas*
AD 80 Greg Pettis+

Senate Districts
SD 5 Lois Wolk
SD 7 Mark DeSaulnier
SD 11 Joe Simitian*
SD 12 Simón Salinas
SD 13 Elaine Alquist*
SD 19 Hannah Beth Jackson
SD 21 Carol Liu
SD 23 Lloyd Levine
SD 25 Mervyn Dymally
SD 27 Alan Lowenthal*
SD 39 Christine Kehoe*+

Alameda County Superior Court Judge
Victoria Kolakowski+

So my fellow lesbians, get out there and vote, let your voices be heard!