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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Bad Holiday Gift ideas for your Lesbian Significant Other

After I had created my Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide, I was thinking that it might be fun to blog about what NOT to get your girlfriend/wife/partner for the Holidays. So, to make it a bit more interesting, I posed this question to a group of my friends..."What do you think would be a terrible gift to get from your girlfriend/wife/partner/soon-to-be-partner or soon-to-be-ex for the Holidays?"




This is what they came up with:


  1. Any sort of kitchen appliance (unless they're a chef)

  2. Clothing (unless they pick it out...no gift cards, either)

  3. A statuette of ANYTHING

  4. The announcement that you're pregnant

  5. A home knit sweater

  6. A Chia pet

  7. Anything holiday specific ( i.e. "The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker")

  8. A gift certificate for a makeover and/or liposuction

  9. A surprise winter camping trip
  10. (1-9 from Casey)

  11. I don’t think many women would appreciate a membership to the gym for x-mas, but there is always an exception.

  12. I never thought I would like to get a vacuum for x-mas, but if it was the dyson I have been eyeing, it might be ok.
  13. (10-11 from Brandy)

  14. Superstition say not to give a Clock to anyone because it symbolizes that time is running out.

  15. Also not a good idea to give perfume - because when the perfume is gone, so is the love.
  16. (12-13 from Angela)

  17. A “re-gift” from an ex or to an ex that you never gave to them

  18. A single ticket to anything – especially a one way ticket out of town

  19. A “how to" sex book, not the kind that are fun to share as a couple but the kind that indicates that you are less than satisfactory in the bedroom– especially if the relationship is new
  20. (14-16 from Tracy)

  21. A dishwasher

  22. A vacuum

  23. Toothpicks

  24. A venereal disease

  25. Salve ointment

  26. Toilet paper

  27. Tampons...These are just a few of the things I can imagine NOT wanting for Christmas.
  28. (17-23 from Julie)

  29. A framed pic of your g'friend and her most recent Ex.
  30. (24 from Treena)


  31. Well I guess you wouldn’t want to get a book on: 101 Ways to Please Yourself
  32. (25 from Kristy)

  33. Something that will break (for obvious reasons)

  34. A wedding/promise ring (better to pick it out together)

  35. A pet (what if she's allergic?)

  36. Something that she would get herself (cuz the best presents are what you really want but can't bring yourself to buy - the super-special treats)
  37. (26-29 from Bridgette)

  38. Cooking lessons

  39. Appliances (i.e. a pasta maker)

  40. A subscription to a book club

  41. And definitely don't get your butch GF a gift certificate to a clothing store she'd never even think of stepping foot into

  42. A one way ticket on a cruise ship to the Antarctica...w/ the latest Kelly Clarkson CD
  43. (30-34 from Sam)

  44. Anything that says Christmas

  45. A perfume I dont like (ask me and I'll tell you which one is my favorite)
  46. Clothes

  47. Gift card
  48. (35-38 from Leila)


  49. Jumper cable nipple clamps
  50. (39 from Lala)

  51. A subscription to Good Housekeeping

  52. A Padded Push-up Bra - Like I need one
  53. (41-42 are my own personal additions)

Nice to see that my friends aren't too cynical...yah right! But really ladies, thanks for all your help on this one, I got a kick out of reading all of your answers.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide

Believe it or not, December is right around the corner, and you know what that means...no, I wasn't referring to the next season of L-Word (although that does begin on Jan 6th). Actually, I was referring to the the Holidays...you know, Christmas, Chanukah, Winter Solstice... So I guess the big question is...have you started shopping yet? Well, I have been thinking about just that subject lately. So to get a jump start on the gift giving season, I thought maybe I would help out by giving you a few gift ideas for all those lesbians in your life.

Book Ideas
Books are aways a great gift...and you don't have to worry about anyone's size. Here are a few that I thought might make a great gift.

Grl 2 Grl
by Julie Anne Peters
In this honest, emotionally captivating short story collection, renowned author and National Book Award finalist, Julie Ann Peters, offers a stunning portrayal of young women as they navigate the hurdles of relationships and sexual identity. From the young lesbian taking her first steps towards coming out, to the two strangers who lock eyes across a crowded train, Grl2Grl shows the rawness of teenage emotion as young women begin to discover the intricacies of love, dating and sexuality.


Jane's World Vol. 7
by Paige Braddock
Synopsis: Chelle is about to uncover the whereabouts of Virginia's missing ex, Rachel, when Jill is kidnapped by the Nevada Liberation Militia. Yes, those mullet-wearing chicks in plaid shirts hit Chelle up for a $2 million ransom, or no safe return of Jill. Meanwhile, Jane gets talked into manning the captain's chair of a 1984 Winnebago, on its annual "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" tour to Palm Springs... Only they never make it to Palm Springs! Mayhem ensues when guys in drag meet chicks with mullets and guns near the Sedona Vortex where Jane shape shifts into her animal totem and runs like the wind! Yeah baby... Girl on girl action, chicks with guns, a vegan menace, vintage Winnebagos and the powerful transformative energy of the Sedona Vortex... this book has it all!

In Deep Waters
by Radclyffe and Karin Kallmaker
Synopsis: From honeymooning couples to strangers with mutual desires, there are no secrets about what goes on between embarkation, midnight buffets and ports-of-call. Passengers, entertainers, ship's crew and tour staff explore every inch of each other and their floating paradise. The lounge. The ex's stateroom. The casino. The little room no one else has realized is so handy, and so private.

Best Lesbian Erotica 2007
by Tristan Taormino
Synopsis: A fire-eater, a voluptuous masseuse, and a naked game of tag in a forest at twilight — it could only be Best Lesbian Erotica 2007, the latest, boldest edition of the hottest lesbian erotica series in America. In Andrea Miller’s “Heavenly Bodies,” an adventurous woman sleeps her way through the zodiac, her twelve lovers including romantic Cancer, exhibitionist Leo, and an unforgettably raw, dominant Scorpio. Peggy Munson twists and teases the canon in “Subtexts,” a hardcore butch-femme re-imagining of Little Red Riding Hood, Moby-Dick, and other tales that already sound dirty. Edited by award-winning author, adult film director, and sex educator Tristan Taormino, and selected and introduced by Emma Donoghue, these fearless stories will stir your senses and test your erotic boundaries.


Movies Ideas
Movies are another great gift idea, I mean who doesn't like movies??? Here are a few lesbian related movies I thought might make a good gift.

The Gymnast
Synopsis: Talented Jane Hawkins (Dreya Weber, Lovely & Amazing) was an impressive gymnast at the top of her game until a devastating injury ended her career. Years later, a chance meeting sets Jane on a new path – performing a cirque style aerial act with a mysterious dancer named Serena (Addie Yungmee). As the stunning pair prepares for a Las Vegas show, the pull between them becomes increasingly unavoidable.


Loving AnnabelleWriter/director Katherine Brooks adapts the classic lesbian drama M├Ądchen in Uniform with this tale of a precocious senator's daughter and Catholic boarding school student who falls desperately in love with her beautiful poetry teacher. Simone Bradley (Diane Gaidry) is a teacher who finds peace within the walls of Saint Theresa's school, and purpose in bringing the wonders of poetry to her young female students. Though newly arrived student Annabelle (Erin Kelly) has notable intelligence and charisma to spare, her fiery disobedience finds the stern headmistress imploring Simone to reign in the young rebel. But Annabelle's insubordination is about to become the least of Simone's concerns, because when the advances of the passionate young woman reveal her teacher's innermost desires, the devoted teacher will be forced to choose between her career and an affair that could quite possibly destroy her livelihood. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide


Exterminating Angels
From the director who scandalized France with Secret Things, comes The Exterminating Angels, a film that will shock you, make you think and turn you on. Francois is a filmmaker holding auditions for his upcoming film about female pleasure. He expects the process to be unconventional but cannot predict the danger that so much arousal can cause. As his female cast embarks on a journey of intense physical pleasure-seeking they become emotionally involved with the director and each other. This film brings new meaning to the warning to never mix business with pleasure.


Lword Season 4
THE L WORD Season 4 picks up with the women wrestling with issues close to their hearts. As with previous seasons, old demons rear their ugly heads and a host of new characters are brought into their fold, offering them access to a broader community with diverse issues. THE L WORD® stars Jennifer Beals, Leisha Hailey, Laurel Holloman, Mia Kirshner, Katherine Moennig, Dallas Roberts, Daniela Sea, Rachel Shelley, and Pam Grier. Newest additions to the cast include Cybill Shepherd, Marlee Matlin, Janina Gavankar and Rose Rollins. Special guest stars are Rosanna Arquette, Eric Roberts, Bruce Davison, Kristanna Loken and Jane Lynch. This season, the war in Iraq becomes an integral part of Alice's (Hailey) life as she struggles to move on after the death of Dana; Helena (Shelley) tries to find financial independence and come to terms with leaving behind a world of privilege; Phyllis Kroll (Shepherd) -- who takes the courageous plunge late in life to come out of the closet -- risking everything that has defined her life up to now; and, Bette (Beals) has to deal with Jodi Lerner (Matlin), a woman who confronts her head-on about her Type-A personality.


Lesbian Sex & Sexuality
Lesbian Sex and Sexuality will take viewers on an uncharted and provocative journey where the subject of lesbian sexuality and desire isn't whispered, but celebrated.






Puccini for Beginners
Synopsis: New York writer and opera addict Allegra (Elizabeth Reaser, The Family Stone) loves her girlfriend Samantha (Julianne Nicholson, Kinsey), but can’t commit. When Samantha leaves her, Allegra rebounds with handsome philosophy professor Phillip (Justin Kirk, Angels in America) as well as the irresistibly beautiful, recently single Grace (Gretchen Mol, The Notorious Bettie Page). Allegra juggles secret relationships with both of them, never suspecting that Philip and Grace have a connection of their own. With a sophisticated blend of humor and irony, this screwball sex comedy twists and turns with all the drama of classic Puccini.



Calendars
Calendars have always been a traditional Holiday gift in my family, but with calendars like these, I think I will save these for my "extended family."


Provocater
These incredible black and white images of women's bodies, by Theresa LoSchiavo, make this the must have Lesbian calendar for 2008.






On the Lips 2008 Calendar
Photographer Judy Francesconi's On the Lips 2008 calendar brings us 16 months of women in love and lust.







Sirens
This 2008 Calendar, by photographer Saryn Angel, show a unique representation of woman, sexuality, power and pleasure in all it's playfulness.







Sex Toys
Whether your looking for something special for your partner, or a gift for your best friend (usually your ex), sex toys are always a fun possibility. Here are a few items that might make the perfect Holiday gift.

Lap of Luxury Kit
Here is what Babeland has to say about this kit.

"Whoever called diamonds 'a girl’s best friend' clearly never received the Form 6 deluxe vibrator as a present. It’s impeccably crafted, waterproof, body-friendly, and offers a range of sensations from pulsations to oscillations to vibrations. Giving the Form 6 instead of an ordinary vibe is like buying a Lexus instead of an ordinary car; once you’ve enjoyed this ride, you’ll never go back. Kit includes a sleek glass bottle filled with slippery, high-quality Entice lube and a 1-ounce bottle of Babeland Toy Cleaner."


Archer Wand
Here is what Babeland has to say about this item:
"A G-spotter to thrill your inner Aphrodite, this gorgeous curved dildo with wide rounded ends is guaranteed to hit the spot. If you love G-spot stimulation or want an artfully crafted tool to find yours, this captivating clear Pyrex bow is perfectly angled for a woman to reach her own G-spot, and it makes for a thrilling addition to partner play. For women who find fingers and thin toys too pointy, the smooth blunt balls feel purrrfect. Comes in a Ruby Red velvet case. 9" long, the balls are 1-1/2" in diameter while the handle is 3/4" wide."


Feeldoe
"Feeldoe is a harness-free strap-on for women. The bulb is inserted into the vagina and the dildo extends out at a natural angle to penetrate your partner. There are ridges at the base of the dildo for clitoral stimulation when thrusting and also an added bonus of a small vibrator, which can be inserted into the end of the dildo, or left out, Holding it in gives you stronger orgasms, as the kegel muscle responsible for those gets a good exercise. it's silicone, it's flexible, warms to body heat, hypoallergenic and hygienic (boilable and bleachable in a 10% solution). The main part of the Feeldoe is 7" in length and 1 1/2" in width. The bulb part is 3 1/2" long by 1 3/4" in diameter."



Clothing/Accessories/Jewelry
If you need gifts for those lesbians in your life who have a passion for stylish clothing, accesories or jewelry, here are a few ideas for some more "lesbian centric" items.

Leather Cuffs
I saw these great leather cuffs at the DITC shop (Dykes in the city). These cuffs are made with extremely soft black leather. They offer two separate styles, one with brass hardware around the outside of the cuff and one with brass hoops throughout the cuffs. Each cuff is embossed with the ditc logo.


Doormat
I found this Doormat at a site called psychotherapy clothing. This is a great site with a variety of T-shirts and novelty products that take a humorous look at psychological terms and social issues. I chose this Doormat for my gift guide because I knew my GF would get a kick out of it...plus, I thought what a great gift for that person in your life that still doesn't quite "get it," if you know what I mean.



Double Venus Pendant with stone pendant
This beautiful Sterling Silver pendent was designed by Jane Iris.
"Venus is the planet associated with the yin qualities of affection,receptivity,creativity and harmony. Coupled together,the Double Venus has become a symbol for Lesbians."


Well I am sure I could have come up with a million more ideas, but I do have a life, so I better get back to it. Hopefully, if nothing else, I at least got you into the Holiday shopping mood.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian

I often find myself reading other lesbian blogs... not only for news and up-to-date politics, but also for insight and entertainment. One of my new favorite blogs, Lesbiatopia just did an article on 69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian. Since I got such a kick out of reading this article, I thought I should share it with you all. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Oh...just a slight warning, this article should probably be rated R.


"Lesbiatopia is happy to celebrate it's 100th post - in my eyes, it's a milestone and very exciting that we've come this far. In an effort to pop open the proverbial bottle of champagne, the Contributors of Lesbiatopia have decided to share with you 69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian. Why 69 and not 100? Well, because when you're a lesbian, 69 is so much better and in the words of Dubbs, "We're here, we're queer, and we're sharing it with the world!" So here you go world, our elusive, exclusive and ejaculatory list of delicious fabulousness. Try not to drool while reading. And to the boys - no need to feel inferior, this was all done in good fun." -Lesberita


Lesberita's Input
1. You don’t have to worry about gagging from a “deep throat job”
2. You never have to worry about finding the toilet seat up
3. You can fix your own car and get your hair done within the same afternoon
4. Your orgasms are real. Always. And so are hers.
5. You never have to swallow
6. You never have to worry about facial hair touching you, anywhere
7. No one cares if you don’t wear a bra
8. You can wear a dick and use it better than most guys
9. Foreplay is an art
10. You are your own form of birth control
11. Women smell amazing
12. You don’t feel like a piece of meat, when she checks you out
13. You can cuddle without feeling like you have to “put out”
14. You find a woman’s intellect to be sexy
15. You watch porn for entertainment purposes
16. You feel bad for strippers
17. Orgasms are like Cornucopias – they should called the horn of plenty
18. You never have to worry about breaking a nail, because you don’t have any
19. You can pretty much have sex anywhere, at anytime, while flying completely under the radar
20. Sex in public bathrooms is so much easier
21. 69ing is so much more fun (and a lot easier too)

Hillbilly's Input
22. I love the smell of a woman
23. I get to do the motor boat in my girlfriend’s fabulous tits every day!
24. I love the emotional availability of a woman
25. I love the nurturing care a woman offers
26. I love watching my girlfriend get ready for a night on the town – watching her get out of the shower naked, put on her perfume, do her makeup
27. I like the feel of a soft pussy over a hard, intrusive penis
28. I love cuddling and feeling my girlfriend’s soft skin
29. I love kissing a woman’s soft lips (yes, both of them – cuz I know that’s what you’re thinking!)
30. I get to have a best friend and a partner all in one
31. I get to wear her clothes and use her make-up!!!

Dubbs' input
32. great nicknames...like carpet muncher
33. sex on a first date...without fear of pregnancy
34. "no man's ever going to tell ME what to do!"
35. it's like dating yourself
36. double the wardrobe, double the FUN!
37. WAY less body hair
38. no spooging in your face
39. women taste better
40. especially the vegan ones
41. one word...BOOBIES!!!
42. "we were just switching clothes, officer!"
43. No 2 clits are alike!
44. Women make sexier bedroom noises
45. Lingerie you can BOTH wear!
46. Double headed dildos
47. The ultimate in feminism
48. Chick flicks are just movies in a lesbians house
49. better kisses
50. no scratchy faces
51. you LIKE when she grabs your ass
52. if it really came down to it, you could totally find SOME dude who'd pay to watch you go down on your girlfriend
53. women don't pass out after orgasms
54. you can do her front ways, back ways, and side ways cuz the wrist moves freer than the hips
55. fingers always fit
56. never having to deal with "morning wood"
57. less farting...which I don't actually know is true but women do not take pride in it
58. you could call her your "roommate" and it's ok

Paula the Surf Mom's input
59. premature ejaculation? what IS that?
60. Eating pussy is good for the complexion… it always makes mine pretty rosy any way.
61. The trashman never sees used condoms in your trash when he hauls it away.
62. If you work it right you and your partner never have to buy your own drinks when you go out… all you have to do it make out… the guys in the bar will just keep em coming just so you keep it going.
63. Lesbians know that you can do more with your fingers then send text messages.
64. Somebody will always has a tampon in an emergency
65. And your partner won’t get all embarrassed if you send them to the store to get you some.
66. You are very popular… girls like lesbians, they all want to kiss us….guys like lesbians, they all want to watch movies about us… everybody likes lesbians.
67. Two mommies in the house are always better then one daddy on the golf course
68. You are sure somebody can cook
69. It good to have a partner who has a sense of fashion

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Wild Women of the Woods: Sexism in Bigfoot Research

I found this article quite interesting and unique, so I thought I would share it... and Paige, this one is especially for you.
-E


Women get used to no one taking us seriously. Strong men are macho; strong women are witches (or the word that rhymes with it).

Bigfoot research is no different. The big, manly Bigfoot hunters go out in the wilderness while the womenfolk stay home. Watch a documentary about Bigfoot and who do you see? Men. Browse Amazon.com for books about Bigfoot and who wrote 99% of them? Men. Listen to a radio program about Bigfoot and who do you hear? Men.

Now I like men. But as a woman—even worse, a single woman—engaged in a testosterone-ridden field of research, I can testify to the fact that most male Bigfoot researchers haven't heard about equal rights or women in the workplace. One man told me women don't want to get involved in Bigfoot research because they're afraid of the woods. Come on!

But the situation is changing slowly. More women are getting involved in Bigfoot research, though their efforts go mostly ignored—save for the work of Autumn Williams, who has appeared on the series "SciFi Investigates" and also had her own series for awhile. Still, women face an uphill battle when entering the field. Most decide to go it on their own, rather than jockeying for a place in an established Bigfoot group.

The Single Girl & the Sasquatch

When I discussed sexism & Bigfoot research on my blog, Bigfoot Quest, the posts attracted a lot of attention. Apparently, my posts made the rounds of other blogs too, and I welcome the exposure. The issue has to be discussed honestly—so that at least women researchers who've experienced this kind of treatment will know they are not alone.

The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. Both women and men have emailed me to express their support for what I've said. A few anonymous cretins have posted comments insinuating that I must be a lesbian. I'm not, but that's really beside the point. I guess these people haven't read my Semantics Series posts, in which I explain that words have no power over me. I recently watched a documentary on the History Channel in which scholars discussed the original meaning of the word lesbian. The term referred to ancient Greek women who lived on the island of Lesbos. They were renowned lovers of men, not each other! I find this fact interesting, since these days people love to accuse strong women of being lesbians—which, to the name-caller, means "man-hater."

We wild women of the woods are not angry man-haters. Some are married; some, like me, are single. Others may indeed be lesbians, but who cares? Most of the members of my group MUPBO are men. I turn no one away—no matter their beliefs, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, or whatever other classification you might apply. And no amount of name-calling will drive me out of this field of research. I hope other women who have experienced the dirty little secret of Bigfoot (and UFO) research will take heart when they read about women like Autumn Williams, Mary Green, Regan Lee, Linda Martin, myself, and other women like us.

The House of Bigfoot Has a Glass Ceiling

Like it or not, women are not publicly visible in this field of research. Scan listings of Bigfoot books and you'll find scarcely a woman in the bunch. Watch documentaries about Bigfoot and you'll see nary a female. The average person interested in Bigfoot—the sort who doesn't belong to a Bigfoot organization or attend Bigfoot conferences—would know nothing about the women who conduct Bigfoot research.

Recently, I watched repeats of several documentaries about Bigfoot. The Discovery Channel series "Best Evidence" featured an episode about Bigfoot. The only women in the show were not Bigfoot researchers; one was a skeptic, anthropologist Nina Jablonski; another was a scientist who helped perform an experiment to see if a man in a suit could mimic the movements of the Patterson film Bigfoot. The Bigfoot experts were all male.

The National Geographic Channel series "Is It Real?" featured an episode about Bigfoot in North America and another about Russian Bigfoot. Neither offered comments from women researchers. The episode about North American Bigfoot showcased the Carter case, where a family claims to have had multiple encounters with Bigfoot over the course of several decades. A woman researcher, Mary Green, pioneered the case. She even wrote a book about it. Yet the National Geographic Channel either never spoke to Mary Green or chose to edit her out of the show. Either way, the implication seems clear: men are more believable than women.

On the Travel Channel's "Weird Travels," a film crew documented the activities of the Texas Bigfoot Research Center. One woman was shown, though she was described as a "volunteer." The men were described as "field investigators." A woman on a field expedition surely goes along only as a volunteer, not an investigator in her own right.

Women are not publicly visible—yet. If we accept the situation, nothing will change. The more we discuss the problem, the less the media will be able to ignore the existence of women researchers.

Wild women of the woods unite!

Lisa A. Shiel is the author of Backyard Bigfoot: The True Story of Stick Signs, UFOs, & the Sasquatch, a ForeWord Magazine 2006 Book of the Year finalist. Critics have praised Backyard Bigfoot, saying “[it] is as informative as it is entertaining” (Midwest Book Review), “[it is] one of the best types of investigative reporting I've seen” (Reader Views), and “you may agree or not with her conclusions but you will be entertained by the discussions” (The Mining Journal, Marquette).

As a recognized Bigfoot expert, Lisa has been interviewed by big-city newspapers, drive-time talk radio hosts, local and national magazines, and TV reporters. In 2005, she founded the Michigan Upper Peninsula Bigfoot Organization (MUPBO) to explore all aspects of the Bigfoot phenomenon, from sightings to evolution to UFOs. Lisa has a master's degree in Library Science. She currently pens a blog, Bigfoot Quest, as a companion to the MUPBO site.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_A._Shiel

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Pet Poisons

Okay, so I know your all thinking what do Pet Poisons have to do with Lesbians? Well, it's like this...a friend of mine had recently sent me an email with a warning about how raisins and grapes are toxic to dogs. It made me realize that there may be quite a few people who aren't aware of how many household items and foods are toxic to animals. So, since many of my lesbian friends happen to have pets, I figured that posting a list of these items might be helpful. (Did you all catch that lesbian tie- in?)

Food Toxins
Avocado
Chocolate
Caffeine
Garlic
Grapes
Macadamia Nuts
Moldy Foods
Onions & Onion Powder
Products sweetened with xylitol
Raisins
Salt
Walnuts
Yeast dough

Household Toxins
Alcoholic beverages
Anti Freeze
Cleaners & Detergents
Compost Piles
Fabric Softener Sheets
Ibuprofen
Lighter Fuel
Mothballs
Pool Chemicals
Post-1982 pennies (due to high concentration of zinc)

Garden Toxins
Amaryllis
Azalea
Caladium
Daffodils
English Holly
English Ivy
Foxglove
Honeysuckle
Hydrangea
Iris
Larkspur
Laurel
Lillies
Mistletoe
Mushroom plants
Narcissus
Oleander
Philodendron
Plant Food
Skunk Cabbage
Snail & Slug Bait
Weed killers
Wisteria
Yew

ASPCA Hot line
1-888-426-4435

For a complete list of toxic and poisonous items, visit www.aspca.com.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

You know You Are in a Healthy Relationship When...

We all have different ideas about what a "healthy" relationship should be. And although each of us usually have our own personal set of requirements when we start dating someone new, there are also some basic guidelines that can help us figure out if our relationships are, or can be, truly healthy.

I found a couple of different relationship guides that I thought had some great information. And I will probably post them all at some point, but this particular one by Peggy Walton, I decided to share with some friends and co-workers (Lesbian & Straight women), to get their opinions. Most of them agreed that the information was very insightful, however, a couple of them told me it was hard to read...not hard as in "I don't get it," but hard in the sense that it made them look at their own relationships in a way they hadn't, at least not for a long time.

Anyway, whether or not you agree with this guide, I felt it was worth sharing...if nothing else, it will make you question a few things about yourself and your own relationships...and in my world, that is a good thing.


Healthy Relationship Guide#1
by Peggy Walton


  • Your partner wants you to realize your dreams and will do anything to help achieve them.


  • They are self-sufficient and complete human beings. (If not, then you may find youeself neglecting part of yourself in some way to compensate for their deficiency.)


  • They take responsibility for their own happiness. It is not your job.



  • They do not use negative tactics for getting their own way or dominating you. Criticism, put-downs, guilt, shame, intolerance, neglect, combativeness, aggression, and threat; the list goes on. Silence can be a negative tactic, if there is communication that needs to take place, and so can defensiveness.


  • When they speak to you, it is always with love, acceptance and approval.


  • They support and respect your ideas, beliefs and wishes no matter how different from their own.


  • Your self-esteem improves when you are together.


  • Your circle of friends grows.


  • They do little things to please you.


  • When something bothers you, they are truly concerned.


  • They help resolve problems.


  • They help you find time for yourself. Without this you will never grow.


  • They share in responsibilities, even with things that are unpleasant or mundane.


  • Your time is just as valuable as theirs.


  • They give you freedom to try new things, take chances and to make mistakes. Human beings are constantly evolving and are not meant to be caged physically, emotionally or psychologically.


  • In short, they provide the security, love and nurturing that is required for you to soar where life itself is wonderful and the relationships are an added bonus. Because you are willing to do the same for them, the relationship will continue to scale new heights while love, honor and respect grows deeper and broader."

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Lesbian Break-up Defined, well sorta...

While browsing the Internet, as you all know I often do, I found this entertaining site called Encyclopedia Dramatica. The name alone was enough to get me intrigued, but I also happened to find this fun little article/definition about lesbian break-ups that needed to be shared, so here it is...


Lesbian Break-Up
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A highly ritualised form of warfare which at first appears to be between two lesbian former girlfriends, but which in fact involves all of each woman's family, friends, acquaintances, former girlfriends, co-workers, pets, clergy persons, neighbors, classmates (kindergarten and later), and congressional representatives. All too frequently, it also includes a large number of passersby, wandering squirrels, and foreigners who have never so much as met either of the parties involved.

The general atmosphere of a lesbian break-up is similar to that of trench warfare, bearing in mind of course that the Geneva convention does not apply, while the casualties are more in line with large-scale mutually annihilitive thermonuclear war.

When the Lesbian Two Degrees of Separation are accounted for, it rapidly becomes apparent that each lesbian break-up eventually includes every living thing on earth. Religious scholars have attempted to extend this by formulating what's called the lesbian theodicy, which states that "evil exists in the world because lesbians have free will to break up", but an analysis of this theory is beyond the scope of this article.

 

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