A Gift of the Heart

by Larry James

Want to know how to avoid a gift-giving blunder? To help you develop gift-giving savvy, when you give a gift during the holiday season or on any other occasion, make it a gift of the heart.

A gift of the heart is a gift we give to our friends and relatives that they want and need. A gift is defined as something freely given from one heart to another with no strings attached. A gift with strings is a gift of the ego.

The value of the gift itself is not as important as its presentation and the thoughtfulness behind the giving. Giving gifts that will benefit the recipient is a meaningful gesture. Good gifts move the recipient because they have been chosen with a thoughtful heart.

Giving gifts, while fun and enjoyable in theory, offers endless potential for frustration; thronging crowds, ransacked stores, confusion, indecision, cash depletion and, finally, the belated knowledge that you bought the wrong thing. The task of giving the right gift can be made much easier with a little bit of pre-thought.

Begin now to think and plan ahead. Listen for clues. Comments like, "Wow! That would be great in the family room!" or "It sure would be nice to not have to (fill in the blank)!" or "Oh, I love that, but it's a little more than I want to pay!" That's your cue to make a mental note and add it to your gift list.

When you give gifts people want and need, whether it is money, time, talent, advice, Love or other tangible gifts, you will begin to receive back to you what you want. Your friends and relatives will kiss the "returns counter" good-bye and reduce return trips to the mall. The last-minute, rush to the store to find a gift tells a story about you.

A gift given with the thought, "What will I get in return for this," is a gift of the ego. Why bother? It's a gift we give because we want to give it rather than a gift that fulfills a need or want. Gifts given from ego are seldom appreciated.

Giving a gift of the heart anticipates desire; what you are offering is wanted and is appropriate. Simple, well chosen gifts unite the recipient and the giver, are appreciated and are often treasured the most. Gifts of the heart light up our friends and relatives with happiness and joy beyond our wildest imaginings.

Thoughtless, inappropriate gifts cause more attention to be given to the giver. Desire for attention is better requested, in a direct way, not with gifts. A gift given of the heart is for giving attention, not requesting it.

What to give?

We can learn everyday a little more about gift-giving by "being" with the people we love so that we know what they want and need. Proper thought, feeling and inquiry must go into the gift selection. A certain quality of attention is often absent in gift-giving. Brief consideration does not create a considerate gift. Gift must be real and given from the heart to be appreciated.

Gifts should be a symbol of being related rather than a bid for reassurance that we are loved.

Larry James is President of CelebrateLove.com. He has been a full-time professional speaker, author and relationship coach since 1987.