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Monday, February 9, 2009

What You Permit. . . You Promote!

by Larry James relationship coach and author.

When you allow free-floating anxiety to permeate your relationship, you're basically giving it your "stamp of approval." Address the tough issues with straight talk and transparency.

Allow your partner to see and hear who you really are, because if you don't talk, your partner will most likely assume the worst and nothing will get better. Pretending everything is rosy when it's clearly not, will drive a wedge between you that is difficult to remove.

Find creative ways to communicate what is really on your mind. Infuse your relationship with lively and loving conversation. This is especially important when you really don't want to or you are afraid to because of past disagreement memories.

Silence is not golden. It's insulting to your partner and it erodes trust. If you feel the need to get something off your mind. Say it! Never candy-coat it or act like nothings wrong. Speak your words in the most loving way you can. The sooner the better.

What you permit. . . you promote!

Sameness does not promote relationship growth. If your relationship needs conversation, speak it. Scrutinize your relationship. Cut to the chase. Get down to the nitty-gritty. Inaction is a form of action however it usually gets you nowhere.

Is it time to re-think how you are being in the relationship? Is your relationship out-of-whack. . . or it is just you? Be honest.

If you need help, ask for it. If not. . . prove it.

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